You may have been waking up every morning wondering what eye-opening, woke piece of literature that Alexander Truly has written for the Fancy Boys Club, only to find yourself in a sea of disappointment as there is nothing for you to read.
Fancy Boys Club co-founder Brandon Andreasen is a 35 year old in a 70 year old’s body. He doesn’t understand memes, but laughs at them because he is afraid of being exposed as old. Just for fun, he is periodically going to do his best to ruin the internet like he does in real life: long winded and factually dubious.
Today, Brandon has scoured the internet for Letters to the Editor, and is going to answer them in the only way he knows how. Obnoxiously.
Continue reading “Brandon Ruins the Internet: Letters to the Editor”
Week 8 of the NFL Season is in the books, and I’m here with the only recap that really matters. Here’s the Winners & Losers of Week 8 of the NFL season.
Continue reading “NFL Week 8 Winners & Losers”As you are reading this, the NFL trade deadline is about to happen/has happened in the past few hours. It’s not going to be that interesting because some teams have already made their moves, while other teams don’t have the draft capital to make a move. If I had my way, though, we would see more teams be obvious sellers and grab as many draft picks as possible.
Just for fun, here are some trades i’d like to see:
Von Miller to the Seahawks for 2020 1st and 2nd round Picks.
The only thing that really needs to happen for this trade to come true is for Miller to be critical of the Broncos. That’s really all it takes to get kicked out of town anymore. The Seahawks defense is treading water, and it seems like a waste to keep Miller in Denver, where they are quarter assing a rebuild while they deftly try to avoid making a correct move at quarterback.
Andy Dalton to the Bears for 2020 2nd round pick.
Andy Dalton is essentially the bell curve for quarterback competency. If you are better than Andy Dalton, you are a good quarterback. If you are worse than Andy Dalton, you are a bad quarterback. Mitch Trubisky is the 29th ranked QB in the NFL according to QBR, which isn’t a perfect stat, but seems to encapsulate his season pretty well. The Bears still have a good enough defense to make a playoff run. They are getting killed by the fact that they are too dumb to see Mitch Trubisky’s limitations.
Also, Andy Dalton could be cut with no dead money after the season, so it’s not a huge loss to send him away in April.
Buccaneers trade Ronald Jones to Detroit Lions for a 4th round pick in 2020
Not a huge move, but it could pay huge dividends for the Lions. Jones has gotten better this season for the Bucs, but they are a throwing team. Detroit lost Kerryon Johnson a couple weeks ago. Jones is just good enough to be a three down running back in a pinch down the stretch run.
I waited until the series was over in Washington. I could spend a whole lot of space breaking down games 3, 4, and 5, giving you reasons why the Astros rallied from two games down to not only make this a series again, but to dominate the damn thing. However, there is truly only one number you need to know… the number one. Good gravy, Nationals. Swept at home. 4-1. 8-1. 7-1. One really is the loneliest number.
The Nationals fans seriously deserve a rousing round of applause for the chorus of ‘boos’ and the showering of ‘lock him up’ toward our feckless Bloated Circus Peanut leader as he was announced prior to the first pitch of Game 5. Made me proud the team also selected renowned chef, humanitarian and Trump-basher José Andrés to throw out the first pitch (low and outside) and then a bit sad their team couldn’t take the grandstand performance and run with it. Hell, Astro fans would have probably given DOTUS a standing ovation. Don’t try to fight me on this one, it’s Texas, one of those states where the capital is pretty much on its own liberal island.
Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.
Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.
Continue reading “FANCY BOYS FOOTBALL MAILBAG WEEK 8”
Did the album need to be religious? No, but don’t piss in my ears and tell me it’s holy water.
After a year of missed release dates, speaking out against premarital sex, and Stanning for Trump, Kanye has finally released…whatever the fuck this is.
Being billed as a gospel album, Jesus Is King clocks in at just over twenty-five minutes, which is also how long I assume Mr. West spent penning the lyrics for these tracks, the highlights of which are prose such as “You closed on Sunday. You my Chic-fil-A/You’re my number one, with a lemonade.” and “What if Eve made apple juice/ You gone do what Adam do?” Continue reading “Jesus Is King or (Kanye Sparknotes the Bible)”
I’m in the Milwaukee Airport, MKE to you aviation buffs, waiting for a flight to Denver. I have a 10:15 flight. I parked at 8:00. I’m now at the gate, after taking a bathroom break, and it’s 8:15. Ergo, I have time to give you a synopsis of the first 2 games of World Series 2019.
I’ll have to admit, I was wrong about the Astros. I was, however, correct about the Nationals. If any team was going to get past the Dodgers, it was the Nationals… and St. Louis stood merely as a speed bump on the way to the World Series.
With Star Wars episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker in theaters this December, I thought it was appropriate to take a look back at the iconic saga. This is not a look back at the films themselves as much as highlighting the nine scores composed by John Williams, the most important character in the galaxy. I will be working in film release order, not narrative order, as there are aspects of the prequel scores that are obviously influenced by the original trilogy.
Continue reading “The Music of Star Wars, Episode I: Star Wars (1977)”
Kyrie jumped from the Celtics to the Nets this summer in a somewhat surprising move. With all of the talk surrounding the team as one to watch next season, there is a feeling that 2019-20 is a freebie season where the Nets have no real consequences for struggling. So on opening night, Irving put on a show for the home crowd.
First, before looking at the tape, lets take a look at how the Nets shared shooting responsibilities. It was known from the jump that Kyrie would handle a lion share of attempts, but the figures here are actually quite eye-popping.
Continue reading “Vendettas in Dice Games: Say Hello to Kyrie Irving’s Brooklyn Nets”
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