I waited until the series was over in Washington. I could spend a whole lot of space breaking down games 3, 4, and 5, giving you reasons why the Astros rallied from two games down to not only make this a series again, but to dominate the damn thing. However, there is truly only one number you need to know… the number one. Good gravy, Nationals. Swept at home. 4-1. 8-1. 7-1. One really is the loneliest number.
The Nationals fans seriously deserve a rousing round of applause for the chorus of ‘boos’ and the showering of ‘lock him up’ toward our feckless Bloated Circus Peanut leader as he was announced prior to the first pitch of Game 5. Made me proud the team also selected renowned chef, humanitarian and Trump-basher José Andrés to throw out the first pitch (low and outside) and then a bit sad their team couldn’t take the grandstand performance and run with it. Hell, Astro fans would have probably given DOTUS a standing ovation. Don’t try to fight me on this one, it’s Texas, one of those states where the capital is pretty much on its own liberal island.
But your team, Nats fans? Whoo, this was the weakest performance from a home team I can remember. Three games. Win one, just one, and you are still in the lead ready to close it out. But no, not now. Now you have to take another two games on the road, Nationals. Your offense went from ‘oh!’ to ‘ew!.’ Your pitching turned tepid.
Fear not! You have Stephen Strasburg on the bump Tuesday night. Yes, your team is facing Justin Verlander. However, Verlander’s record in the playoffs this year is a very beatable 1-3 with an ERA of over 4.15. He’s the orange-jersey version of Clayton Kershaw. Plus, there’s his nickname. Remember, he is married to supermodel Kate Upton. There’s a lot to work with here. I hope you are seated… his nickname is ‘JV.’ These baseball guys with their crazy nicknames nowadays. Where did they come up with that one? Then again, he plays for a team called the Astros, named based upon where they played – the Astrodome.
And for Strasberg’s record? His playoff record this season has been awfully good. He’s 4-0 with a 1.93 ERA. And to make it all that much better? His nickname is… wait for it… Stras. I know. About as original as calling a team based in the nation’s capital the Nationals. Yeah, he looks like a grindier version of the lead singer of the ‘90s band Spin Doctors, but he can twirl some serious magic with his curve.
The only good news for baseball fans in general is no one, except Adam Eaton himself, really wants Adam Eaton to be a World Series winner. Any player who flashes the metal rock ‘horns’ hand sign when he makes a catch remains a putz.
I will, in spite of my newfound appreciation for the Nationals fan base, have to stick with my original prediction and say ‘Go ‘Stros.’ The Nationals should get off the canvas and win Game 6, but the Astros will take Game 7.
And one more thing – someday I hope Stephen Strasburg ends up on the Astros so we can see the headline “Stros’ Stras causes opponents Stres.”
Fancy Boys Club 