World Series Report, post game 5

I waited until the series was over in Washington. I could spend a whole lot of space breaking down games 3, 4, and 5, giving you reasons why the Astros rallied from two games down to not only make this a series again, but to dominate the damn thing. However, there is truly only one number you need to know… the number one. Good gravy, Nationals. Swept at home. 4-1. 8-1. 7-1. One really is the loneliest number.

The Nationals fans seriously deserve a rousing round of applause for the chorus of ‘boos’ and the showering of ‘lock him up’ toward our feckless Bloated Circus Peanut leader as he was announced prior to the first pitch of Game 5. Made me proud the team also selected renowned chef, humanitarian and Trump-basher José Andrés to throw out the first pitch (low and outside) and then a bit sad their team couldn’t take the grandstand performance and run with it. Hell, Astro fans would have probably given DOTUS a standing ovation. Don’t try to fight me on this one, it’s Texas, one of those states where the capital is pretty much on its own liberal island.

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FANCY BOYS FOOTBALL MAILBAG WEEK 8

FANCY BOYS FOOTBALL MAILBAG WEEK 8

Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.

Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.

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Jesus Is King or (Kanye Sparknotes the Bible)

Jesus Is King or (Kanye Sparknotes the Bible)

Did the album need to be religious? No, but don’t piss in my ears and tell me it’s holy water.

After a year of missed release dates, speaking out against premarital sex, and Stanning for Trump, Kanye has finally released…whatever the fuck this is. 

Being billed as a gospel album, Jesus Is King clocks in at just over twenty-five minutes, which is also how long I assume Mr. West spent penning the lyrics for these tracks, the highlights of which are prose such as “You closed on Sunday. You my Chic-fil-A/You’re my number one, with a lemonade.” and “What if Eve made apple juice/ You gone do what Adam do?”  Continue reading “Jesus Is King or (Kanye Sparknotes the Bible)” →

World Series Report, post game 2

I’m in the Milwaukee Airport, MKE to you aviation buffs, waiting for a flight to Denver. I have a 10:15 flight. I parked at 8:00. I’m now at the gate, after taking a bathroom break, and it’s 8:15. Ergo, I have time to give you a synopsis of the first 2 games of World Series 2019.

I’ll have to admit, I was wrong about the Astros. I was, however, correct about the Nationals. If any team was going to get past the Dodgers, it was the Nationals… and St. Louis stood merely as a speed bump on the way to the World Series.

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The Music of Star Wars, Episode I: Star Wars (1977)

The Music of Star Wars, Episode I: Star Wars (1977)

With Star Wars episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker in theaters this December, I thought it was appropriate to take a look back at the iconic saga. This is not a look back at the films themselves as much as highlighting the nine scores composed by John Williams, the most important character in the galaxy. I will be working in film release order, not narrative order, as there are aspects of the prequel scores that are obviously influenced by the original trilogy.

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Vendettas in Dice Games: Say Hello to Kyrie Irving’s Brooklyn Nets

Vendettas in Dice Games: Say Hello to Kyrie Irving’s Brooklyn Nets

Kyrie jumped from the Celtics to the Nets this summer in a somewhat surprising move. With all of the talk surrounding the team as one to watch next season, there is a feeling that 2019-20 is a freebie season where the Nets have no real consequences for struggling. So on opening night, Irving put on a show for the home crowd.

First, before looking at the tape, lets take a look at how the Nets shared shooting responsibilities. It was known from the jump that Kyrie would handle a lion share of attempts, but the figures here are actually quite eye-popping.

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Autumn for Basic Bitches

Autumn in Chicago can be hard on a Basic Bitch. Society tries to convince us that we’re the only ones who love cozying up with a pumpkin spice latté and our favorite Charlotte Brontë novel. So I’ve decided to make a list of the top 6 things us Basic Bitches are looking forward to this season in the hopes that we can all unabashedly enjoy them together. 

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David Ross is the new Cubs Manager…now what?

In news that seemed meant to be since the Cubs limped across the finish line this season, David Ross was named the new manager of the Chicago Cubs. Great. What comes next?

Unfortunately for Cubs fans and executives alike, David Ross isn’t the answer to the problem that the Cubs have as they reach their “dynasty” crossroads. How did the Cubs get to this point? They were supposed to be THE team of the second half of the decade. They were going to duke it out every season in the World Series with the Houston Astros. What went wrong? In short, a lot. Can David Ross fix it? Not by himself.

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The Worst Best Year

The Worst Best Year

Jerry O Connell is on TV again. He is playing some relative of Magnum P.I. Magnum P.I. is the name of Tom Selleck in the TV show Magnum P.I. I do not know what the name of Tom Selleck’s character in Magnum P.I. is. In my opinion, regardless of whatever facts you may bring to me, the name of Tom Selleck’s character in Magnum P.I. is, indeed, Magnum P.I. I refuse to look this up. I will be actively furious should the name of Tom Selleck’s character in Magnum P.I. actually be Magnum P.I. And yet.

Thoughts I have because of the NBA.

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The NHL at 10%

Hockey is violent ballet; grace and guts. And yes, if you’re skating on the same thin ice I am, The Nutcracker would sell more tickets if we knew sometime during the Sugar Plum Fairy one of the dancers would get crosschecked.

Okay, we’re around the 10% mark of the season. No, there was not a 0% report as a) zero means no games have been played, and b) no one wants to be a zero. What you’re going to see here is a breakdown of each team so far by conference and who’s going to hoist Lord Stanley’s Cup based upon the current standings. Let’s go East first.

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