NHL: The Two Tirds report

Hey motherpuckers, we are back! The NHL All-Star game has come and gone, and each team’s odd seven-to-ten-day break is over. This is the time of the season when the NBA catches up to the NHL in terms of games played. It’s not weird, it’s just a matter of activity. Basketball has a lot of running, but the uniforms don’t carry weight. An NHL player is loaded with game armor, plus skating takes more effort than running, therefore they have more time between games. NHL season starts earlier, but the NBA always catches up.

Now that your February sports lesson is over, let’s take a look at where the NHL stands at their two-tirds mark in the season. Finally, my yard marker team, the Colorado Avalanche and you know well by now, has reached game 55, posting a magnificent shut-out 3-0 win against the Senators… then losing to the Capitals last night – FUUDDGE.. Where does that leave them in the standings? No, no, no my skate-loving friends, we check out the Eastern conference first.

Eastern Conference

Shall we take a look at who won’t make the playoffs first? Let’s do that. As predicted at the halfway point, the Detroit Red Wings are not disappointing me in their failure to do anything this season. They’re fortunate they can remember how to lace up skates, let alone play hockey. The others? We have the New Jersey Devils, who used to be the Colorado Rockies… and may as well have been the baseball Colorado Rockies the way they’re playing… and the aforementioned Ottawa Senators… who the Colorado Avalanche just shut out. To complete this trifecta of tenuous relationships between the bottom three and the Avalanche, let’s harken back to when the Dead Wings were good and the Avalanche cared enough to hate them. Sit back, have a Stroh’s or a Coors, and enjoy this clip. If the link doesn’t work, just type in ‘Patrick Roy vs Mike Vernon” and that’ll get you there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7LZbJhi6Fo

Oh and BTW, we are going to add one more team. I believe it is time to knock on the arena door of the Buffalo Sabres and let them know the climb to get into the playoffs is too steep for them at this point so forget about it. They’ve sunk like a rock since the halfway point, going from the 8th spot down to 13th. Zoinks, Scoob! As for the rest…

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Friday Five: Valentines Day Edition

Friday Five: Valentines Day Edition

Welcome to the Friday Five, the brain child of Fancy Boys Club creator Brandon Andreasen. Each week, we will give four questions and a top five list for all the Fancy Boys contributors to tell stories and give horrible top five lists for.

With Valentine’s Day today, we thought we would ask the crew about all things love. Let’s get romantic!

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XFL Roughneck Report: Houston Roughnecks take the Los Angeles Wildcats by the Nape

XFL Roughneck Report: Houston Roughnecks take the Los Angeles Wildcats by the Nape

Before we get into taking a look at what happened Saturday for game 1, let’s just have an introduction – call it a post-first game introduction – to these Houston Roughnecks. Starting with the logo – a logo looking suspiciously like the old Houston Oilers logo so my assumption is the same “designer” who created this also created Trump’s Space Force logo… or is that Space Farce, I forget. Let’s start with…

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FBC OSCAR COVERAGE, PART X: The Night That Was Parasite

FBC OSCAR COVERAGE, PART X: The Night That Was Parasite

When the smoke had cleared and the dust had settled on the 92nd Academy Awards Sunday night, it was Bong Joon-Ho’s Parasite dominating the field. Yes, it won Best International Feature. That was expected. What was less expected however, were the other three awards it claimed: Best Original Screenplay, Best Director, and Best Picture.

As Bong went up to accept his screenwriting Oscar, I turned to my wife and said, “This could be a huge night for Parasite.” I didn’t realize that I was making one of the more dramatic understatements in the history of me watching the Oscars, which goes back to when I was a child.

Even though Parasite‘s four wins destroyed my chances of winning the Oscar pool I was in AND possibly ruined my credibility as a prognosticator (I went 18-for-24), I cannot help but be ecstatic for Bong. Because not only was Parasite the first foreign-language film to win Best Picture, but for the first time this century (and maybe longer), the winner of Best Picture wasn’t just the best movie nominated, it was the best film that came out all year.

And we haven’t even gotten to Eminem yet.

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The Iowa Caucus: A Profile in American Dumbassery

The Iowa Caucus: A Profile in American Dumbassery

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, in a cave or have been lost in the jungle and away from all forms of media (in which case I envy you so), you know the Iowa Caucuses were held last week. What should’ve been the first step toward thinning the literal herd (gaggle?) of Democrats running for POTUS against a common orange enemy turned into what political experts typically call, “a total fucking shitshow”. This doorknob hump of a voting event is a prime example of how American elections are flawed to such an extent that we’ve come to exist in a Twilight Zone-esque hellscape, held hostage by a super dumb minority. So what’s wrong and how can we fix it?I’m glad you asked! Let’s walk through this together!

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I give you Props: Proposition bets for LIV

Hey kids, as you may well know – or not depending upon your life I guess – Super Bowl LIV is this Sunday. Who’s playing? It’s the Chiefs and the 49ers, but really who cares? This isn’t about who wins, but who makes money.

No, I’m not going to go on and on about which square to pick on the party or office grid to win sweet cash each quarter that eventually gets claimed victory by Francine the receptionist who generally hopes the team whose quarterback has the better-looking ass wins.

However, ladies and gents, that winner could be you using a different form of betting. And if you have the propensity to gamble your life away, why not do it watching a game rather than sitting at a roulette table quietly praying to your desired Lord to make that ball hit 22 Black? WARNING: No bet is a surefire thing (they are about as surefire a thing as a long-lasting marriage), but there are some Super Bowl bets you may want to make to try and expand your pocketbook.

How does one make some coin you may ask? With a proposition bet. A proposition bet, short form prop bet, is one where a person such as yourself puts some money down on an occurrence… or non-occurrence… happening during any game, but especially the Super Bowl.

There are more than 400 prop bets you can make. Heck no I am not going to go over all of them, but let’s check out a few that aren’t the typical “Will so-and-so score a touchdown in the first half” kind of prop bets.

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A Quick Look At The 2020 Grammys…

A Quick Look At The 2020 Grammys…

The 62nd Annual Grammy Awards take place tonight in California and will be aired on CBS. They start at 5:00 PM PST and should end sometime around April.

The Grammys are long. You know how people bitch about how the Oscars are long? AMPAS ain’t got nothing on The Recording Academy, baby! They’re so long. Too long.

And I’m gonna watch it… well, most of it. Until I fall asleep.

Here’s what you need to know about music’s biggest night.

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