Stop Following Brands on Social Media

Stop Following Brands on Social Media

Did you hear that Mr. Peanut died yesterday? Did you see it in their official tweet (starring Wesley Snipes!) or in one of the many other branded tweets about it?

Ever since the Superdome lost power during Super Bowl XLVII and Oreo tweeted some dumb joke about dunking cookies in the dark that got a shit load of retweets, every brand has been falling over themselves to prove how fucking funny they are.

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Lillie’s Q Brings Down Southern Fare Like a Confederate Monument

Lillie’s Q Brings Down Southern Fare Like a Confederate Monument

Lillie’s Q is a sore. A nuisance. A poem that rhymes “cigarette” with “regret.” It’s a friend that invites you to a party you don’t know anyone but never shows up, so you spend the whole time in the corner, playing with the settings on your phone, pretending to text. Most of all, it is a restaurant in Chicago – the existence of which disparages the entire history of barbecue. 

As we all know, the first mention of ribs in recorded history comes from the book of Genesis, when God removed one of Adam’s ribs to create Eve and stop Adam from posting on incel web forums. Since then, ribs have been used in everything from Marilyn Manson’s felatic self-adventures to “her pleasure” condoms, but they have most prominently marked their territory as a staple of Southern cuisine. 

If ribs found their start in Eden, Lillie’s Q has burnt them over the fire and brimstone of Sodom. Continue reading “Lillie’s Q Brings Down Southern Fare Like a Confederate Monument”

Brandon’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays: Colin Kaepernick

Welcome to the holidays! Is there anything better than spending time with friends and family, good food, good times, and the inevitable specter of someone coming in to ruin everything with their piping hot political takes that come in dryer than your dad’s turkey? Every year, Fancy Boys Club co-founder Brandon Andreasen is here to guide you through the holidays in a way that will hopefully allow you to survive with your brain intact, if not quite your sanity. All though Christmas season, Brandon will talk you through topics to survive the minefield that is getting all of your family together at once.

Timing is a funny thing. It can be a great sense of serendipity, or it can be the harbinger for your uncle to explain why people are supposed to stand for the National Anthem. For those who are blissfully disconnected from social media, Colin Kaepernick is in the news again, which is sure to agitate the most flag humping of your friends and family members.

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You Should Refrigerate Your Doritos

You Should Refrigerate Your Doritos

Life holds many mysteries. One such treasure is the undiscovered delicacy of culinary experimentation. We all know well the magnificent combination of sweet and savory. But what happens when, by mere lapse in motor skill judgment, we stumble upon transcendent greatness? I accidentally tossed some Nacho Cheese Doritos in the fridge. What happened next changed my life forever.

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Brandon Ruins the Internet: Letters to the Editor

Fancy Boys Club co-founder Brandon Andreasen is a 35 year old in a 70 year old’s body. He doesn’t understand memes, but laughs at them because he is afraid of being exposed as old. Just for fun, he is periodically going to do his best to ruin the internet like he does in real life: long winded and factually dubious.

Today, Brandon has scoured the internet for Letters to the Editor, and is going to answer them in the only way he knows how. Obnoxiously.

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How I told Effexor XR goodbye… and its cypher to Kiss My Ass

I first wrote this a couple years ago, and have now decided to throw it out there. She, the warrior princess known as Effexor XR, draws circles in my head now and then, and with everything going on these days, it’s damn hard for the effects to entirely disappear, including my sometimes desire to slip back into the world of anti-depressants. However, I am not going to do it. Meditation, yoga, exercise and a semblance of a decent diet (I had an egg on avocado toast for breakfast yesterday… followed up with blueberry pie for breakfast today) seem to be keeping me on an even keel these days. That being said…

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