I’m A Casualty Of Mass Layoffs

For the past eight years, I worked as an editor for GameSpot and Comic Vine–and I was a freelance writer prior to that. During this time, I wrote and published thousands of news pieces, editorials, features, reviews, and listicle galleries that I often called, “Fun toilet reads.” Additionally, I had the role of host/producer/editor of a wrestling podcast called Wrestle Buddies. I had what many considered to be the dream job. Then, one day, it was taken all away, as I was part of a group of people that were laid off by our parent company.

This isn’t something new. Throughout my years working at GameSpot through various parent companies, I saw this happen a few times. It was never easy. You lose people you talk to every single day, as they’re no longer in your work Slack. And from there, you grow apart from many of them. But after surviving numerous rounds of layoffs and seeing people move on, I was brought into a meeting on a Thursday morning and told I no longer had the gig of a lifetime. It still stings. It still hurts. And it’s hard to pick yourself up.

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Can You Call It A Bed & Breakfast If There Isn’t A BDSM Dungeon?

Can You Call It A Bed & Breakfast If There Isn’t A BDSM Dungeon?

For the past three years, my wife, Moon Daisy, and I have spent our time traveling in a dilapidated seafoam green 1971 Volkswagen Bus. The interior was a faded checkerboarded material that looked like cloth but felt like a damp sponge that sat in a dirty sink over the weekend. The van smelled of sex, caviar, and Drakkar Noir’s most nefarious scent, “Voyeur Connoisseur.” Throughout my years as a prolific mountain climber, award-winning hiker, and tantric sex thought leader, I have had many luxuries. I’ve dined in the finest restaurants in Hanoi. Slept on 1,000 count Egyptian sheets in Sudan. I’ve celebrated the new year with world leaders and billionaires in Club 33 in Disneyland. But one experience that separates “me” from “you” is trying to make ends meet and traveling throughout America in a piece of shit automobile for “fun.”

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What’s In Brandon’s Head 8/3 Edition

What’s In Brandon’s Head 8/3 Edition

There is a lot rattling around in site co-founder Brandon Andreasen’s head. He can’t spend 5000 words on everything that he wants to, because it would heavily interfere in his time normally spent drinking, watching King of the Hill reruns, and just generally being lazy. So every week, Brandon is going to do a scattershot of smaller stories he won’t commit to writing full stories about.

Bullet Train is Pure Insansity

It’s always refreshing to go to a movie and enjoy yourself. This is difficult for me because I don’t like the horror genre, and the only thing that makes me break out in hives more than super hero movies is bee stings. (very literally on the bee sting front. My buddy Chabus had to drive me to the hospital one time because I nearly My Girl’d myself.)

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WHAT’S IN BRANDON’S HEAD 7/27 Edition

WHAT’S IN BRANDON’S HEAD 7/27 Edition

There is a lot rattling around in site co-founder Brandon Andreasen’s head. He can’t spend 5000 words on everything that he wants to, because it would heavily interfere in his time normally spent drinking, watching King of the Hill reruns, and just generally being lazy. So every week, Brandon is going to do a scattershot of smaller stories he won’t commit to writing full stories about.

RIP To The Choco Taco

Companies reveal and remove food items from our lives all the time. When you are a fat, this hits you particularly hard. And as a noted fat, I was heartbroken to learn that Klondike had decided to discontinue the Choco Taco, a sweet treat of a taco made of a waffle cone, ice cream, and then dipped in chocolate. It’s July, a month that is specifically taxing on people of girth. We need our cool treats (shout out to my buddy Mongoloid Mike who was out of town on my birthday, so he Door Dash’d me ice cream sandwiches from Coldstone) to help us survive the sweltering heat. We don’t melt like snowmen, we die of heat stroke while trying to mow the yard.

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WHAT’S IN BRANDON’S HEAD 7/20 EDITION

WHAT’S IN BRANDON’S HEAD 7/20 EDITION

There is a lot rattling around in site co-founder Brandon Andreasen’s head. He can’t spend 5000 words on everything that he wants to, because it would heavily interfere in his time normally spent drinking, watching King of the Hill reruns, and just generally being lazy. So every week, Brandon is going to do a scattershot of smaller stories he won’t commit to writing full stories about.

Ted Cruz Is An Idiot: Part 8,128,903

Everyone’s favorite dumpy uncle who has gotten scammed by three ponzi schemes has decided to go and run his mouth, again. Ted Cruz, whose main existence was to make Jeb Bush seem likeable in 2016, said on Saturday that he thinks that the Supreme Court should repeal same sex marriage. Remember when, after Roe vs. Wade was overturned, everyone was concerned that Republicans were going to come for gay marriage next, and then every conservative said “nooooo, we would never do that,” well that lasted all of three weeks.

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What’s In Brandon’s Head 07/13 Edition

What’s In Brandon’s Head 07/13 Edition

There is a lot rattling around in site co-founder Brandon Andreasen’s head. He can’t spend 5000 words on everything that he wants to, because it would heavily interfere in his time normally spent drinking, watching King of the Hill reruns, and just generally being lazy. So every week, Brandon is going to do a scattershot of smaller stories he won’t commit to writing full stories about.

Vince McMahon is a monster/wrestling fandom is toxic

Over the past month, World Wrestling Entertainment CEO and primary shareholder Vince McMahon has been outed by the Wall Street Journal as having covered up four affairs with women within the company with hush money over the past decade and a half, while he was running a publicly traded company. All told, he spent over 12 million dollars making sure that his tv image of being a womanizing asshole who never suffers any actual repercussions for his actions wouldn’t be sullied.

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Masks, CRT, Grooming: What Comes Next In Schools

Masks, CRT, Grooming: What Comes Next In Schools

As Teacher Appreciation Week comes to a close, it seems like teachers aren’t getting appreciated at all. All over the country, people have been interrupting school board meetings complaining about the horrible assault happening to the children. From mask mandates to the teaching of CRT to the accusations of grooming (which I’m assuming is not about getting kids to brush their hair), conservatives are furious about what is happening to the youth.

And I have bad news for America… it’s nowhere near done.

Continue reading “Masks, CRT, Grooming: What Comes Next In Schools”

Masks, CRT, Grooming: What Comes Next In Schools

Masks, CRT, Grooming: What Comes Next In Schools

As Teacher Appreciation Week comes to a close, it seems like teachers aren’t getting appreciated at all. All over the country, people have been interrupting school board meetings complaining about the horrible assault happening to the children. From mask mandates to the teaching of CRT to the accusations of grooming (which I’m assuming is not about getting kids to brush their hair), conservatives are furious about what is happening to the youth.

And I have bad news for America… it’s nowhere near done.

Continue reading “Masks, CRT, Grooming: What Comes Next In Schools”

An Agnostic Football Fan Guide to the Super Bowl

An Agnostic Football Fan Guide to the Super Bowl

So it’s that time of the year. The biggest sporting event of the season is happening and your favorite team is long since eliminated from contention. The elimination could be heartbreaking (49ers/Chiefs) or predetermined by fate (Jaguars/Lions). Thirty fan bases are left out in the rain on February 13th. And the remaining fanbases?

Bengals fans have been so embarrassed by their team over the past three decades that they didn’t really claim their own existence until a month and a half ago.

The Rams….well, they don’t have fans. I can speak to this because I was in St. Louis over the weekend, when they beat the 49ers to go to the Super Bowl. The team, who existed in the STL until just a couple years ago, do not have many fans (more on this later). The team now exists in Los Angeles, which doesn’t give a damn about them.

Over 70 million people watch the Super Bowl each year. The vast majority of those people are not fans of the Bengals or Rams. Welcome to the Agnostic Football Fan Guide to Super Bowl LVI.

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