Every year, it happens. An inevitability like the sun rising, taxes being paid, and Rudy Giuliani being a public embarrassment. Besides Patrick Mahomes, the McRib, and horrible country music, it could be what America has come to be known for over the past few decades. It shows up in your email. It shows up in your mailbox. It shows up in targeted marketing ads while you are trying to watch tables get made on Facebook.
I’m of course referring to Black Friday. Every year, the spectre of saving a few dollars on a big screen tv and a chainsaw you don’t need (but what if you might, someday???) leads friends and family members to throw ‘bows with strangers in a Target parking lot, because their beloved CBS sitcoms are just so much more enjoyable on a 58 inch television screen that a 51 inch (oh that Sheldon Cooper, amiright?). It is what causes us to shred any sense of decency with the ferocity of Hulk Hogan tearing off his shirt in the eighties, just for the sake of getting 15 dollars extra off some Rachel Ray cookware that is inevitably going to bow and warp the moment you boil water in it. THOSE PANS ARE JUST FOR LOOKS, KAREN! YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO COOK IN THEM!
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