An Athletics Relocation Adventure

If you have been paying attention to the minutiae of baseball television rights alongside the proliferation of new modern baseball stadiums, and i’m sure you have, then you are very aware of the situation of the Oakland Athletics. The A’s, formerly of Philadelphia and Kansas City, debuted in Oakland in the Oakland Coliseum in April of 1968. Since then, the Athletics have played all of their home games in the stadium, which doubled for many decades as the home stadium of the Oakland Raiders.

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Old People Need to Chill: An Ongoing Series

Old People Need to Chill: An Ongoing Series

Everyone thinks they are going to age gracefully. Each of us believes that we will be the ones to stare down the cold hand of death and rebel against it by keeping up with the latest trends, listening to the newest music, and doing what them young folks be doin’. To say the least, this is an appalling afront to the sensibilities of everyone who grew up and opted to age gracefully. Today, I saw an old man in skinny jeans, boots, and a shirt that should be worn by someone four decades his junior. He was wearing Warby Parker glasses that would make Andy Warhol blush. He had a french bulldog following him as if it were father time, waiting for him to kick the bucket from drinking too much Red Bull.

It should go without saying that this man did not look cool. This man did not look hip. This man looked like he saw what hip was, thought to himself “Well, this will make me look like the coolest person at the Homeowners Association Meeting” and went for it. He thought he was going to stand at the mountaintop of fashion and look down on his suburban counterparts with a stylish contempt. Instead, he went off the cliff, full-on Thelma and Louise style. Just full yeet.

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2021 NFL Draft First Round Live Blog

2021 NFL Draft First Round Live Blog

Welcome everybody to my constantly updating live blog where I’ll be giving my thoughts about picks throughout tonight’s first round of the NFL draft. All of the lovey eyes being made between prospects and teams. All of the subterfuge and personality testing. Everything is done. Tonight is where the rubber hits the road. Tonight is about changing teams through the draft and…..BAH GAWD THAT’S AARON RODGER’S MUSIC!

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Brandon’s 2021 Draft Predictions That People Can Hold Against Me!

Brandon’s 2021 Draft Predictions That People Can Hold Against Me!

On Monday, we discussed all of the things I got right and wrong last year. On the whole, I definitely could have done worse. That is mostly because I simply refused to reread every word I wrote in the leadup to the draft. My writing is tiring to both write and read. I just glanced over the bigger points, and the points I specifically remember (KMEEEEEEEEET!)

I realize, though, that it would just be easier to dump all of my hot takes into one place. So here we go! Here are the things I think about the 2021 NFL Draft!

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Brandon’s Annual Draft Predictions That People Can Hold Against Me!

Brandon’s Annual Draft Predictions That People Can Hold Against Me!

Every year, I throw myself down a flight of stairs in an attempt to give my opinion on the NFL draft. There is obviously no way to be 100 percent accurate with your predictions, but sometimes I am egregiously bad! Sometimes I’m right, but people aren’t interested in that so much. As is a yearly tradition, i’m going to go over the stuff I got wrong last year, with the occasional sprinkling of stuff I got right. Actually, screw you guys! I’m leading off with what I got right. Don’t like it, go start your own website you human merkin!

What I got right: The Bears were dumb to draft Cole Kmet.

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The Death of WCW Turns 20

The Death of WCW Turns 20

It wasn’t supposed to end the way it did. It seemed like an institution, but in the grand scheme of the wrestling industry, it was more of a comet that shone brightly through the night sky of the industry, and flamed out just as spectacularly, imploding into itself like a neutron star. They filled some of the biggest venues in the country. Every week, millions of wrestling obsessed fans watched them. They even wrestled in North Korea.

And then it all ended, at spring break in front of drunken revelors in Daytona Beach of all places.

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Jessica Walter 1941-2021

Jessica Walter 1941-2021

It felt like a gut punch. It felt like so many things that I love had died at once. It felt like losing a sharp, foul mouthed family member. It came in a tweet. Things like this always do in this day and age. Jessica Walter, an integral part of my comedy enjoyment over the past two decades had passed away today at the age of 80.

Walter’s career spanned seven decades. Her TV career predates steaming. It predates cable. It even predates the proliferation of color television. Walter starred in memorable television shows over the decades such as FBI, Mannix, Love American Style, The Love Boat, Trapper John MD, and Murder, She Wrote. She won an Emmy in the 1970’s for her role in the show Amy Prentiss.

She was even the mom on Dinosaurs!

But more importantly, she was Mallory Archer.

And EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY than that, she was Lucille Bluth.

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Does The Slipper Fit? How the Bears Can Get Russell Wilson

Does The Slipper Fit? How the Bears Can Get Russell Wilson

With the way the internet has been losing it’s mind over the NFL hot stove season for the past few seasons, you could be forgiven if I didn’t jump feet first into the rumors of Russell Wilson wanting to be traded this morning. The Athletic wrote an amazing piece about the growing rift between Russell Wilson and the powers that be in Seattle that came out today. What the article didn’t do was make it abundantly clear that Wilson wanted out of the Seahawks organization. The two notable people discussing him wanting to be traded were Brandon Marshall, who played all of seven games in Seattle at the end of his career, and noted rumor-maker-upper Jason La Confora. The CBS Sports “Insider” is notable mostly for being wrong.

Then Adam Schefter, someone worth paying attention to, dropped a bomb on all of us this afternoon.

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Carson Wentz Becomes a Colt As the Bears Stare Into the Abyss

Football rumor mongering is big business. It draws eyes to the twitter accounts of access merchants desperate to be the first person to break a story. It brings clicks to websites that are all too willing to write anything and post it online for the sake of views. It also acts as a tool of misinformation from professional teams, all too happy to use the blue check marked retweet whores to push out rumors for their own gain.

To whit, after multiple weeks of vague insinuations and loose accompaniment, Carson Wentz was traded to the Indianapolis Colts for a 3rd round pick this year, and a 2nd round pick next year which can be upgraded to a first. This after multiple reports over the past week that the Colts were not really interested. This after multiple reports over the past week that the Bears were the front runner. This after multiple reports over the past week that there were no real suitors for Wentz. This after multiple reports over the past week that the Eagles wanted multiple first round picks for their quarterback. This after multiple reports blah blah blah blah blah.

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