In 1966, John Lennon said that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus. This was the biggest thing to happen to music until Monday, November 4th, 2019. A discussion rose up, no more mundane than any other. The premise was simple. Which Eve 6 song was better: Inside Out or Anytime. Inside Out being one of the predominant bangers of 1998, and future Billboard Modern Rock Track of the Year, is the track that Eve 6 is most known for. It is the apex of sorts in American pop culture. Anytime was, in the eyes of everyone who has ever listened to music, one of the great examples of guitar, drum, bass, and lyrics in the history of mankind. Ranking up there with such luminaries as “Like a Rolling Stone” by Bob Dylan, “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay” by Sam Cooke, and “How Bizarre” by Otarra Millionaires Club, Anytime is the ear worm from the soundtrack to “Gone With the Wind” rivaling epic Out Cold.
Continue reading “Open Road Song is a Trashdick”You’re So Perfect, You’re Not Here…
I am a believer of the populus.
If America believes that Sean Spicer is one of the best celebrity dancers in the country, so be it. If our nation comes together and is okay with Jerry Bruckheimer movies, who am I to argue. If more people voted for Donald Trump to be the leader of the free world… all right, bad example.
Because I live in this mindset, I thought I would be able to live with the results of a Twitter poll I put up a few days ago based on a debate we were having in the Fancy Boys Club facebook chat. What started as a polite chat between Brandon and his wife led to a full-fledged argument. Lines were drawn; other lines were crossed.
When the smoke had cleared, 33 people had voted for what the best song from Eve 6 was. The overwhelming majority of people had voted for “Inside Out”, while my choice, “Open Road Song”, finished in last place with a paltry nine percent.
The people failed me. The people are wrong.
Continue reading “You’re So Perfect, You’re Not Here…”From the Archives: The Last Days of My Dog
I recently found an old blog I wrote many years ago. Going through it, I was struck by how much my writing has changed, yet somehow stayed in a very similar vein. Every once in a while, i’m going to drop some old blog posts I wrote. Ones that I feel strongly about, or still strike a chord with me. I wrote this one in early 2012, I think just a few hours after I had to put my first real dog down.
15 years is a long time to know somebody. I can count the number of friends I’ve had for 15 years on one hand. 15 years accounts for more than half of my life. 15 years ago, I was 12 years old. I was in the 7th grade. Sammy Sosa was my favorite baseball player. I listened to Sublime constantly in spite of the fact that I really didn’t understand the lyrics. Titanic came out for the first time when I was 12. It was also how old I was when we got Pepe.
Continue reading “From the Archives: The Last Days of My Dog”NFL Week 9 Winners & Losers
We just wrapped up Week 9 of the NFL Season, which means its time for me to break down the Winners & Losers.
Continue reading “NFL Week 9 Winners & Losers”WWE And the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week
Say what you will about WWE, but whether it’s in the ring or in real life, they know how to keep people on the edge of their seats and wanting more. Since Thursday, the company has lost over a billion dollars, were again heavily criticized for being a gleaming travelogue for an authoritarian regime, had most of their staff held essentially hostage, and put on one of their best shows in years. Wrestling fans always love the blurring of lines between kayfabe (wrestling speak for the characters and storylines that they operate under) and real life, but none were as starkly dramatic as the events of late last week.
Continue reading “WWE And the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week”Fancy Boys Football Mailbag Week 9
Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.
Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.
Continue reading “Fancy Boys Football Mailbag Week 9”When Ballet and Comedy Collide
I remember that performance like it was yesterday.
I felt a swell of pride as I executed the show exactly as I had practiced it so many times before. Afterwards, a wave of applause erupted from 1,500 adoring fans. I felt like I had finally made it.
It was my ballet recital, and I was six.
Continue reading “When Ballet and Comedy Collide”I Was Saying “Boo-Urns”
On October 27th, during the fifth World Series game between the Houston Astros and the Washington Nationals, the Jumbotron in National Park showed a shot of President Donald Trump, his wife, and a group of GOP lawmakers who were attending the game. If you follow sports, or politics, or know anyone who does, you probably know what happened next: Nationals fans booed the president, also throwing in a cheer of, “Lock him up!” for good measure. Reading about it the next day, my reaction was a bemused chuckle.
But it didn’t end there.
Continue reading “I Was Saying “Boo-Urns””You’ve Got My Letter, I’ve Got Your Songs
Last weekend, my wife and I met friends for a night of tapas. On the way home, with our bellies full of Spanish meats and cheeses, we turned on the radio and heard “The End Of The Game,” the newest single from Weezer. That a band who has been making music for 25 years can get a new single on the radio was, at the very least, surprising. The fact that the song sounds exactly like Weezer was, well, not surprising.
But as I heard the newest song from a band who has made 14 albums (their newest album, Van Weezer, will be the third album in two years), I couldn’t help but think about their second album. In the course of the song’s three minutes and twenty-one seconds, I didn’t even hear the new song anymore. Every chord and lyric I heard made me think of an album which came out over two decades ago. For days, one major question just kept popping into my brain like one of River Cuomo’s sing-along melodies:
Did Pinkerton break Weezer?
Continue reading “You’ve Got My Letter, I’ve Got Your Songs”Hey Aladdin, get a job.
A couple weeks ago, I decided mid-flight to fight off a turbulence-induced panic attack by watching a movie (in addition to my usual booze-prayer combo). You know, anything to take my mind off the fact that I’m sitting next to the dude who decided, “Shoes are for suckers!” while hurtling through the sky in a metal tube.
Continue reading “Hey Aladdin, get a job.”
Fancy Boys Club 