Fancy Boys Club

Are you ready for MLB? A Season Predictor of Sorts

March 9, 2021March 8, 2021by copperwriteLeave a Comment

It’s spring training and all the teams are out there getting prepped for the six months of regular season ahead of them. Baseball, since its season is so long, is a weird sport and team fortunes can change pretty quickly. However, I am not going out on a very long limb by stating this could possibly be the most lopsided season we’ve seen for a long time. The disparity between awesomeness and sorry-ass, to me, has never been wider.

For some teams the season will be far longer than they want. As such let’s start in reverse, like a spinning bunt that hits fair but slowly trickles right over the foul line to ultimately just be a strike… or in these collective teams’ cases, an out.

The ‘Keep your Bats in the Rack” Group

Colorado Rockies – they traded their best player, Nolan Arenado, to the Cardinals for a sack of seeds that no matter good the soil is and how carefully they water, will never germinate to anything of substance. They will be so bad that if California slides into the ocean, the Rockies still won’t win the NL West. They’re destined to be bad for a minimum of 5 years. Are there other teams worse than the Rockies? I believe yes, at least two.

Don’t hate the man, hate the ownership and management of the team that traded him, Rockies fans. (Photo by AAron Ontiveroz/MediaNews Group/The Denver Post via Getty Images)

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Music/Movies, Oscars, Uncategorized

FBC Oscar Coverage, Part II: Early Viewing Guide CONTINUED

March 8, 2021March 7, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

Last week, I gave you ten films that are almost certain to be Oscar nominated in a week. Today I want to focus on five outliers that have shots at taking home some of the nominations in the big categories. Much like the last column, I’ll let you know where you can find these films if you want to check them out. Let’s dive in!

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Life in the Fap Lane

Life in the Fap Lane: My Pandemic as a Sex Worker Part Six

March 5, 2021March 4, 2021by loveisnomysteryLeave a Comment

Prostitoohot to handle

Well folks, we made it. We’re at the climax… The big O… The final article of the Fap Lane series. We’ve covered and uncovered a lot of ground over the past couple months with everything from the sex work industry, BDSM, sex toys, squirting, and, of course, onlyfans. And now we’re at the final chapter of this roller coster of a life I lead that you all seem so fascinated by. The part where I admit that: I have, in fact, been paid to have sex… sort of.

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politics

The Other Things Greg Abbott Ordered That The MSM Don’t Want You To Know About

March 2, 2021March 2, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

Earlier today, Texas governor Greg Abbott made news when he announced that he would be lifting all COVID restrictions in place, including the statewide mask mandate he put into effect in July. Starting March 10, Governor Abbott is not just removing the mask mandate, but also the limit on the amount of patrons who can be in a restaurant, despite the fact that Texas has seen an uptick in new COVID cases (and COVID deaths) over the last two weeks. Texas becomes the largest state to join a list of other states to lift mask mandates and COVID restrictions.

But what the liberal media doesn’t want you to know is this: there’s so much more that Abbott is allowing. Let’s give it up for freedom.

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television

Hold Me Closer, Carson Daly

March 2, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

Last night, The Voice returned to television, which means that for the next few months, it is a guarantee that my wife will be watching NBC whenever it’s on. She loves this show. She loves Kelly Clarkson, she loves watching some of the performances (she does not love country, so she tunes out every now and then). This show is her cup of tea. Because I’m a good husband, I started watching it with her.

And now I love it, too… for one very specific reason: the insane amount of kindness radiating from its host, Carson Daly.

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Music/Movies, Oscars

FBC Oscar Coverage, Part I: Your Early Viewing Guide

March 1, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

Well, look at my nipples and call me Chipper! It’s Oscars time again, baby!

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Sports

Does The Slipper Fit? How the Bears Can Get Russell Wilson

February 25, 2021by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

With the way the internet has been losing it’s mind over the NFL hot stove season for the past few seasons, you could be forgiven if I didn’t jump feet first into the rumors of Russell Wilson wanting to be traded this morning. The Athletic wrote an amazing piece about the growing rift between Russell Wilson and the powers that be in Seattle that came out today. What the article didn’t do was make it abundantly clear that Wilson wanted out of the Seahawks organization. The two notable people discussing him wanting to be traded were Brandon Marshall, who played all of seven games in Seattle at the end of his career, and noted rumor-maker-upper Jason La Confora. The CBS Sports “Insider” is notable mostly for being wrong.

Then Adam Schefter, someone worth paying attention to, dropped a bomb on all of us this afternoon.

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Life in the Fap Lane

Life in the Fap Lane: My Pandemic as a Sex Worker Part Five

February 25, 2021February 25, 2021by loveisnomystery1 Comment

Splish-sploosh

It was 11:56pm on a snowy Sunday evening in Chicago, nearly a year after the term ‘Covid-19’ had become a fixture in the international vernacular, when I- an educated woman, moderately successful but still basically unknown comedian, and person with multiple receipts for Goodwill donations- accidentally peed on my laptop for the first time.

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television

This Is Not My Beautiful House. This Is Not My Beautiful Vibranium Android Husband.

February 22, 2021February 22, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

Let’s skip to the bottom of the page, so I am not accused of burying the lede: WandaVision is the most creative and innovative thing the MCU has given us and is, currently, one of the best programs currently on television. The show, created by Jac Shaeffer, is a baffling and insane combination of humor, nostalgia, a little sci-fi, a pinch of a thriller, and about a thousand other things. Both Elizabeth Olsen and Kathryn Hahn deserve Emmys for the work that they’re doing and if this is the leadoff hitter for the Marvel/Disney+ television relationship, I look forward to seeing what’s going to come next.

With their two hit shows, this and a little thing you may have heard of called The Mandalorian, Disney+ has shown that they are not just around for nostalgia or so that my wife can put on a childhood favorite to help her fall asleep; they are trying to create content just as good as any of the streaming services or networks. And while The Mandalorian is probably the show I would rather watch, I think WandaVision (at least so far) is probably the better show.

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Sports

Carson Wentz Becomes a Colt As the Bears Stare Into the Abyss

February 19, 2021February 19, 2021by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Football rumor mongering is big business. It draws eyes to the twitter accounts of access merchants desperate to be the first person to break a story. It brings clicks to websites that are all too willing to write anything and post it online for the sake of views. It also acts as a tool of misinformation from professional teams, all too happy to use the blue check marked retweet whores to push out rumors for their own gain.

To whit, after multiple weeks of vague insinuations and loose accompaniment, Carson Wentz was traded to the Indianapolis Colts for a 3rd round pick this year, and a 2nd round pick next year which can be upgraded to a first. This after multiple reports over the past week that the Colts were not really interested. This after multiple reports over the past week that the Bears were the front runner. This after multiple reports over the past week that there were no real suitors for Wentz. This after multiple reports over the past week that the Eagles wanted multiple first round picks for their quarterback. This after multiple reports blah blah blah blah blah.

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