My week as an accidental FemDom
Being a femdom/goddess was never my kink or intent. Typically in the bedroom I act as more of a submissive although I do clearly maintain a certain level of control at all times, but I think that’s more a neurotic paranoia thing than a ‘get off by being in control’ type thing. But some fans requested JOI (jerk off instruction) videos and after perusing pornhub (the google of porn), I had a pretty good sense of what they wanted and created some content. One dude took a particular interest in a video where I was wearing a corset and pleather pants ($15.99 from Amazon), and began messaging me for…more. Typically I send a lot of blush face, kiss face, and devil horn smiley face emojis during my OF conversations, but this guy made it clear that what he wanted…what he needed… more than empty emojis was to be verbally assaulted by a woman he found attractive. And thus began my week as a goddess.
As I mentioned earlier, being dominate is not typically my thing, but I definitely understand wanting to be dominated. I have fantasized about being bound, blindfolded, gagged, and being forced to call a man ‘sir’ or ‘master’. The complete lack of control is intoxicating because it’s like the purest way to feel pleasure. When you are being told specifically to think of nothing but the pleasure you’re feeling while doing nothing else including the work- it’s freeing. So understanding his desire allowed me to put myself in his shoes. I verbally abused him for days, per his request, in exchange for money, gifts, and affirmation. I gave him ‘assignments’- my favorite of which was having him crudely write my name in pen right above his shaft. It is still the funniest picture I have saved on my camera roll and sometimes I look at it wistfully for a chuckle. Not that I’m laughing at him, exactly, I just think it’s fascinating and amazing that I- just a random Jewish comic from Chicago, with nothing but a corset and some cheap leggings- could get a total stranger to write my name above his dick. He called me goddess and told me all the ways he would submit to me and pleasure me if we ever met. I told him he was weak, pathetic, unworthy, disgusting, repulsive, and that he wasn’t allowed to jerk off or view any sexual images of women until I gave him permission. It was sort of fun until I ran out of ideas for shit to have him do after like 2 days. I tried to Reddit some femdom suggestions, but that is a rabbit hole no one should go down unless they are really and truly into it. And it is… not my brand.
But, it did change my fantasies for that week. I watched- and got off to- femdom porn for the first time in my life. Tying up a dude and making him watch me play with myself, follow orders, or call himself a little bitch wasn’t just hilarious anymore- it was also… kinda hot. I could imagine cupping a dude’s chin while he’s on his knees and handcuffed, forcing him to eat my pussy. I could even be turned on by the thought. But in the end, I realized that my ‘pet’, as I often referred to him, was really taking up quite a large chunk of my time and I was largely going uncompensated for it. I brought it up and while he verbally agreed, he quickly ghosted after that. Do I miss it? Not really. My next assignment was for him to do a video chat with me where I watched him stick an increasing number of pens in his ass because a) he told me he wanted stuff in his ass and b) I was running out of ideas. Did I want to watch a dude stick pens in his ass? No. No I did and do not. Did I like having- or the idea of having- that much control over a person? Not really. It just felt like the thing to do, I suppose. But alas, his ass went pen-less and my taste of dominance came to an end, not with a bang, but with a whimper.