The Next 50 Stars: My Plan To Get America To 100 States

The Next 50 Stars: My Plan To Get America To 100 States

One of the most ridiculous stories to come from President Trump’s first term was when he tried to purchase Greenland, presumably to make it another state (or, at the very least, another U.S. territory). It was met with general scoffing and mockery from both political sides (save for the Donald’s most ardent bootlickers) and seen by many as a petulant child getting upset that he couldn’t buy anything he wanted. I remember finding the idea ridiculous back in 2019. But now, I’m not so sure.

Now, I kind of think it’s fucking dope.

But why stop there?

Continue reading “The Next 50 Stars: My Plan To Get America To 100 States”

The Night A Libertyville Gravedigger Played Just For Me

The Night A Libertyville Gravedigger Played Just For Me

19 years ago this month, I witnessed the best concert I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a bunch. I’ve seen They Might Be Giants (my favorite group of all time) play over 30 times in a variety of venues. I’ve seen Elvis Costello sing to a full Chicago Opera House without the use of a microphone. I’ve seen a Beatle play. I’ve seen an artist make over a dozen costume changes during a show, and that artist was “Weird Al” Yankovic and he was awesome.

I’ve seen all kinds of groups and at every kind of venue. But, we show then I think of all of the concerts in all of the rooms I’ve seen in my life, there is only one that is in the running for the best show I’ve ever seen. And it was a night, nineteen years ago this month, when I was reminded of the blistering power of live rock and roll.

I’m not the best writer, and it’s possible that I’m not even a very good writer. However, as you’ll soon come to see, I’m, literally, one of maybe four people who is both qualified and able to write this story. So, knowing what responsibility is on my shoulders, let me tell you a tale…

Continue reading “The Night A Libertyville Gravedigger Played Just For Me”

The Jock Jams Compilations, Ranked (Y’all Ready For This?)

The Jock Jams Compilations, Ranked (Y’all Ready For This?)

As someone who grew up in the 1990’s, the Jock Jams series of songs were everywhere in my life. I heard them at sporting events- like, all sporting events. I heard them at junior high and high school dances. I heard wedding parties use them to as introduction music. They were everywhere.

And even though some of the songs weren’t great, or even very good, there is something about these massive ESPN-produced mixtapes (all released under the Tommy Boy Music label) that just feels fun. That being said, why just enjoy nostalgia when you can, instead, over-analyze and use math to suck out all the fun of these songs so you can rank which Jock Jams album is the best one?

Hey, everyone… let’s get ready to rumble.

Continue reading “The Jock Jams Compilations, Ranked (Y’all Ready For This?)”

Fancy Boys Stay Home With The Movies: Mulan & Bill & Ted Face The Music

Fancy Boys Stay Home With The Movies: Mulan & Bill & Ted Face The Music

While some theaters have opened, studios are still choosing to release some of their films for streaming. I caught up with the newest Disney remake and the third Bill & Ted film.

Continue reading “Fancy Boys Stay Home With The Movies: Mulan & Bill & Ted Face The Music”

Fancy Boys Go To The Movies: The Concept Of Seeing Tenet

Fancy Boys Go To The Movies: The Concept Of Seeing Tenet

As the light go down in the theater, I feel a twinge of excitement I have not felt in, what seems like, forever. Going to the movies has always been one of my favorite things to do, and not only am I back in a comfy chair, but I am seeing Tenet, the newest film from Christopher Nolan and my most anticipated movie of 2020.

Continue reading “Fancy Boys Go To The Movies: The Concept Of Seeing Tenet”