Fast food isn’t healthy. It’s doesn’t always taste good.
Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that it could even be considered food.
And yet, there’s something about it that’s undeniable. There’s a comfort to unwrapping a cheeseburger or eating fries in the car. There’s peace in leaving a drive-thru knowing that your needs will all be met. And sometimes, you’re just hungover as balls.
Enter March Fatness.
Continue reading “Fancy Boys Club previews: March Fatness!”
Welcome to another edition of Brandon Solves The Internet, an occasional column in which Fancy Boys Club founder Brandon Andreasen scours the internet for the best questions being asked around the web and uses his expertise in all things to answer them. This week, Brandon tackles fishing, classic furniture placement, and other topics. Let’s jump in!
Continue reading “Brandon Solves the Internet II”
I will start by saying I have no plans to see Sonic the Hedgehog, but I morally support the career of James Marsden. He is now a two-time cartoon-in-reality film star. Prior to Sonic, Marsden was in the brutally-seasonal Easter Bunny film, Hop.
Cartoons interacting with the real world is no new venture, but sometimes I get the feeling that our human counterparts are too damn chill about being in the presence of a sentient drawing.
Let me be clear- if this happened to you, the only result is instantaneous cardiac arrest.
In case you are one of those people that can easily see your toes when you look down, you might have missed the news that Wendys is rolling out their breakfast menu nationwide. This news is all very new and very exciting to us fat people. How new and exciting is it? In the 11 days since my local Wendys went live with their breakfast menu, I have eaten every menu item on it. Yes, my cholesterol is atrocious, why do you ask?
Continue reading “Wendys New Breakfast Items, Ranked”Okay Roughneck Rowdies (not sure of you are aware as an avid Roughneck fan you are a Rowdy, but – according to me – you are) our team’s ride into Tampa proved to be a rough one. I suspect it was all due to repeated visits to Taco Bus, but somehow they came out on top 34-27.
Yes they are still undefeated, but there are issues. The Roughneck D allowed the Vipers O to score 27 points – over twice as much as they scored in total the first two games. Allowing Marc Trestman’s shaky offense to put up points plus fang them for nearly 400 yards is a bad omen for week 4, Rowdies. The game was a back and forth affair. We had the ball, they had the ball, we had the ball again, and so forth. They scored, we scored, blah blah blah. As for Roughneck RB Nick Holley, he rushed 1 time for 1 yard, caught 2 passes for 7 yards, and made it through without breaking his back. NICK – YOU BROKE YOUR BACK – STOP PLAYING FOOTBALL! GEEZ!
What is the internet outraged about, currently? **Sticks finger to the wind to see where the prevailing blowhards are wailing** Ahh, the internet is currently up in arms about the transgender. Great…
Continue reading “We Are Destined to Not be Cool About This, Are We?”Well football fans, or XFL fans as this game certainly has the feel of football but is throwing my sports clock off by having football this time of year, it looks as if the Houston Roughnecks are for real. Two wins, zero losses have them tied atop the league with evil DC Defenders.
Now the Oilers – again look at the logo, that’s no Roughneck to me that’s an oil derrick and that means Oilers – have to go on the road for the next two games. Their road record so far, standing at 0 wins and 0 losses, simply means their inexperience on the road may hurt them.
The game this Saturday is against the venomous Tampa Bay Vipers, and this is what they will face as challenges:
Continue reading “Roughneck Report, Take 2”
Hey motherpuckers, we are back! The NHL All-Star game has come and gone, and each team’s odd seven-to-ten-day break is over. This is the time of the season when the NBA catches up to the NHL in terms of games played. It’s not weird, it’s just a matter of activity. Basketball has a lot of running, but the uniforms don’t carry weight. An NHL player is loaded with game armor, plus skating takes more effort than running, therefore they have more time between games. NHL season starts earlier, but the NBA always catches up.
Now that your February sports lesson is over, let’s take a look at where the NHL stands at their two-tirds mark in the season. Finally, my yard marker team, the Colorado Avalanche and you know well by now, has reached game 55, posting a magnificent shut-out 3-0 win against the Senators… then losing to the Capitals last night – FUUDDGE.. Where does that leave them in the standings? No, no, no my skate-loving friends, we check out the Eastern conference first.
Eastern Conference
Shall we take a look at who won’t make the playoffs first? Let’s do that. As predicted at the halfway point, the Detroit Red Wings are not disappointing me in their failure to do anything this season. They’re fortunate they can remember how to lace up skates, let alone play hockey. The others? We have the New Jersey Devils, who used to be the Colorado Rockies… and may as well have been the baseball Colorado Rockies the way they’re playing… and the aforementioned Ottawa Senators… who the Colorado Avalanche just shut out. To complete this trifecta of tenuous relationships between the bottom three and the Avalanche, let’s harken back to when the Dead Wings were good and the Avalanche cared enough to hate them. Sit back, have a Stroh’s or a Coors, and enjoy this clip. If the link doesn’t work, just type in ‘Patrick Roy vs Mike Vernon” and that’ll get you there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7LZbJhi6Fo
Oh and BTW, we are going to add one more team. I believe it is time to knock on the arena door of the Buffalo Sabres and let them know the climb to get into the playoffs is too steep for them at this point so forget about it. They’ve sunk like a rock since the halfway point, going from the 8th spot down to 13th. Zoinks, Scoob! As for the rest…
Welcome to the Friday Five, the brain child of Fancy Boys Club creator Brandon Andreasen. Each week, we will give four questions and a top five list for all the Fancy Boys contributors to tell stories and give horrible top five lists for.
With Valentine’s Day today, we thought we would ask the crew about all things love. Let’s get romantic!
Continue reading “Friday Five: Valentines Day Edition”
On this day 65 years ago, Time Magazine, one of the biggest magazines in the country at the time, released their latest issue. Carl Jung, the noted Swiss Psychiatrist, was on the cover. Deep inside the issue is a small article titled “Aviation: For Distinguished Flying.” It was about a United Airlines flight from the month prior that had mechanical issues and crashed into a cornfield in Iowa. Every person from the crash managed to walk away without injury. The pilot of that flight was my grandfather.
Continue reading “My Grandpa, The Hero”
