By now you have probably read Jack Baker’s ham fisted pronouncement of the McRib’s quality and deservedness of being in the March Fatness bracket. You yourself might even be wondering why the McRib didn’t make the list while items like KFC Coleslaw did. You might also be wondering why Jack Baker decided he was ombudsman. If he is complaining about the voting process of these brackets, I have serious issues with his self-appointment as ombudsman. But we will get back to stripping Jack of his responsibilities and firing him out of a cannon towards the sun later. Now, let’s thoroughly and comprehensively explain why the McRib didn’t make the list.
Continue reading “McRib is Trash and Deserves Nothing but Scorn: A Rebuttal to Jack Baker”Where’s the McRib? March Fatness is a Total Sham
Hello loyal Fancy Boys Club readers, it brings me great sadness to report that the upcoming “March Fatness” Fast Food bracket is a complete and total sham.
Fancy Boys Club founder Matt Drufke claims that we’re trying to find the best fast food item, but as editor, cofounder, and ombudsmen of FancyBoysClub.com, I am sad to say that the bracket we have created falls woefully short of that goal.
Continue reading “Where’s the McRib? March Fatness is a Total Sham”Fancy Boys Club March Fatness Podcast
Fancy Boys Club Co Founders Brandon Andreasen and Matt Drufke reveal the March Fatness bracket and discuss all of the matchups.
Roughneck Report – Take 4
Woot. Woot… and Woot.
Yes, Roughneck fans, and you know who you are you Rowdies, the Roughnecks are undefeated! You know what that means, yep – they have yet to lose a game!
Un•de•feat•ed: not defeated, especially in a battle or other contest.
The Houston Roughnecks rolled into Dallas like a drunk tumbleweed on acid and demolished the retched Renegades. Oh sure the final score, 27-20, and those pesky factual stats that indicated it was a close game doesn’t seem like a ‘demolishing,’ but let me tell you those Roughnecks made sure they demolished the Renegades in their head! Yes, a complete psychological ass-kicking especially to…
The 2020 Cubs Preview
If we can’t beat the olds now, we don’t really deserve it, do we? Not only do we outnumber them, the stakes for everyone but the old assholes who have essentially destroyed the world are so much higher.
Greta Thunberg put it badassedly: “…nature doesn’t bargain and you cannot make ‘deals’ with physics.”
Make no mistake, if Bernie doesn’t win – and not only that, but if Bernie doesn’t win AND/OR we, the youngs, don’t put every single ounce of sustained pressure upon them, the olds – then we will be utterly destroyed in a very serious, non-hyperbolic way. Climate Change is here, it is getting worse, and it is accelerating.
That will definitely affect baseball.
Continue reading “The 2020 Cubs Preview”Fancy Boys Club Poll: Should Drunk People Vote?
Welcome to the first installment of Fancy Boys Club Poll, where we ask the hard-hitting questions that America, nay, the world need to know the answers to. At the end of this blog, we’ll explain how to cast your vote. And we want as many of you to vote as possible because, unlike states trying to implement racist voter identification laws, we truly care about what everyone has to say.
This week’s question: Should a person who is legally drunk be allowed to vote?
Continue reading “Fancy Boys Club Poll: Should Drunk People Vote?”How To Never Get Booked For A Comedy Show: A Cautionary Tale
I am both a comedian and a show producer. When these elements are working well, having this dual role is wildly fulfilling. However, when things are getting rocky, the decision to begin producing shows as a comic feels like someone came up to an alcoholic and said, “It seems like you already have this thing that is taking up way too much of your life, and not always in a positive way. Still, try this heroin!”
Continue reading “How To Never Get Booked For A Comedy Show: A Cautionary Tale”Fancy Boys Club previews: March Fatness!
Fast food isn’t healthy. It’s doesn’t always taste good.
Sometimes, it’s hard to believe that it could even be considered food.
And yet, there’s something about it that’s undeniable. There’s a comfort to unwrapping a cheeseburger or eating fries in the car. There’s peace in leaving a drive-thru knowing that your needs will all be met. And sometimes, you’re just hungover as balls.
Enter March Fatness.
Continue reading “Fancy Boys Club previews: March Fatness!”Brandon Solves the Internet II
Welcome to another edition of Brandon Solves The Internet, an occasional column in which Fancy Boys Club founder Brandon Andreasen scours the internet for the best questions being asked around the web and uses his expertise in all things to answer them. This week, Brandon tackles fishing, classic furniture placement, and other topics. Let’s jump in!
Continue reading “Brandon Solves the Internet II”If Cartoons Were Walking Around In Our World Right Now, You Would Not Be Chill About It
I will start by saying I have no plans to see Sonic the Hedgehog, but I morally support the career of James Marsden. He is now a two-time cartoon-in-reality film star. Prior to Sonic, Marsden was in the brutally-seasonal Easter Bunny film, Hop.
Cartoons interacting with the real world is no new venture, but sometimes I get the feeling that our human counterparts are too damn chill about being in the presence of a sentient drawing.
Let me be clear- if this happened to you, the only result is instantaneous cardiac arrest.
Fancy Boys Club 