Fancy Boys Club

“The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers is kind of a lyrical trashfire…

February 17, 2021February 17, 2021by Matt Drufke2 Comments

Released in 1978, Kenny Rogers’ version of “The Gambler” was nothing short of a wild success. It helped solidify Rogers as a dominant force in country music (the song was in the middle of a string of consecutive singles to top the country charts), gave him pop success in a time when country songs were hardly ever played on mainstream radio (the song would reach #16 on the pop charts) and reward Rogers with the 1980 Grammy for Best Male Country Artist. When Rogers died in March of last year, the song would top Billboard’s digital singles chart.

The song is just universal. I remember my mom singing it and just hearing it all the time in the house. In fact, I don’t think you could approach a person under 20 and have them not be able to sing you the chorus. Everyone knows “The Gambler”. I could sing you that song in its’ entirety and I feel like I could’ve for any point in the last 30 years.

But just a few nights ago, when rocking my fussy baby to bed, I realized something:

The lyrics to this song are kind fucked up.

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Sports, Uncategorized

The NHL Report: First Quarter 2021

February 16, 2021February 15, 2021by copperwriteLeave a Comment

I probably should have divided up like periods and done thirds, but as promised I waited until the Avalanche reached game 12, aka 25%ish, to file a report on how the NHL season is going. Twelve games. The season started in early January so my math would have the Avalanche playing game 12 on February 4^th. Nope – make that February 14^th.

Why the delay? COVID. Five games postponed. I guess since they played Game 12 on Valentine’s Day COVID now stands for Colorado Valentine’s Isolation Day.

“My bloody Valentine…” Sing it with me now.

On another aspect, isolation made sense. The morning temperature on V-Day was a whopping -6˚F at my place. Deep freeze people, deep freeze. COVID has thrown the whole schedule into a blizzard. I wish it were a Dairy Queen one which actually sounds kind of good and my local DQ stays open until midnight and is the size of a Culver’s which is crazy, but alas that is a negative. How is the schedule playing out you ask? Bwa, Ha and Ha. The Vancouver Canucks have played 18 games, the Avalanche 12. The New Jersey Devils? 9.

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Music/Movies, The Swiftening

It’s A Love Rerun

February 15, 2021February 15, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

On Friday, Taylor Swift decided to give us a little taste of her 2021 re-recording on “Love Story”. Fancy Boys guest contributor Jordan Holmes, who had spent the last two months covering Swift’s entire discography, did not take it well.

*Deep Breath* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, Taylor Swift
— Jordan Holmes (@gotobedjordan) February 11, 2021

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Life in the Fap Lane

Life in the Fap Lane: My Pandemic as a Sex Worker Part Four

February 11, 2021February 11, 2021by loveisnomystery2 Comments

Writing off sex toys and other great tax advice

This article is about vibrators and dildos- or as us sex workers like to call them- tools of the trade. This is about: my usage of them, both orgasmic and logistical; my thoughts on them, both functional and existential; and my reviews of them, both honest and critical. So buckle up masturbation prudes and fans because we’re about to dig deep. Like, g-spot deep.

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Music/Movies, The Swiftening

The Swiftening, Part 9: evermore (2020)… Too Swift To Rock ‘n’ Roll, Too Swift To Die

February 10, 2021February 10, 2021by The Fancy Boys2 Comments

Before December of 2020, Jordan Holmes (comedian, author, podcaster) had never, intentionally, listened to a Taylor Swift song. Then began The Swiftening, where Jordan decided to review every Swift album in order. So far, he has covered Swift’s 2006 debut, 2008’s Fearless, 2010’s Speak Now, and 2012 ‘s Red, 2014’s 1989, 2017’s reputation, 2019’s Lover, and last year’s folklore, which we encourage you to check out if you haven’t already.

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Sports

The Few Things I Got Right, and The Ton of Stuff I Got Wrong in the NFL in 2020

February 9, 2021February 8, 2021by Brandon Andreasen1 Comment

I am wrong. A lot. My gambling account this season is a reminder of how wrong I can be. I occasionally get things right, as well. But, oh man, I’m wrong all the time when it comes to sports. When you drone about nothing as much as I do, i’ts bound to happen. With the football season ending a couple nights ago, I was left with the sadness that, not only did I no longer have a reason to get spectacularly drunk on Sundays, but that I had to come to terms with what was probably my worst season in terms of prognosticating and gambling.

Part of it was the fact that i’ve spent the better part of six months with a broken brain. Full stop, not looking for sympathy. I have been able to function as a human being, albeit with medication and therapy. It is hard to focus on football when you spend every waking moment of your life thinking that your entire world is crumbling around you.

The other part of it is that I just can’t throw myself into football like I used to. As Blink 182 opined two decades ago, “I guess this is growing up.”

Life just takes up too much time. Family, friends, a society imploding into itself like a neutron star. Oh, and the whole Covid thing. I got Covid pretty bad midway through the season. 2020 was a shitty year for damn near everyone. I was no exception. So it’s time for me to take some L’s and talk about the few things I got right, and all the stuff I got wrong about the 2020 NFL season.

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Comedy, Sports

How The Kansas City Chiefs Won Super Bowl LV, Globalist Cabal Be Damned

February 8, 2021February 8, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

February 7, 2021- It’s midway through the first quarter of Super Bowl LV, and in his suite, Kansas City Chiefs owner Clark Hunt is already celebrating. His team, the expected favorite for tonight’s game, has just taken a 3-0 lead over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Surely, the Chiefs would be winning their second consecutive Super Bowl and he would be returning to Kansas City with the Lombardi Trophy and ready to bask in the praise the city would throw his way.

Then, there was a problem.

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Sports

Prop Bet the Super Bowl!

February 6, 2021by copperwriteLeave a Comment

If you’re like me and you wait until the dust has settled before deep-diving into prop bets for the Super Bowl, you my friend are in luck. I have discovered some choice prop bets for Super Sunday and will simply give you the winners. All you have to do is donate some of your winnings, let’s call it a bet-tithing, to your favorite comic so they can do something positive with it.
Me? I’ll be donating to Matt Drufke.
Why? Because he’s a good guy and I know any money given to him will be going for something noble. Perhaps a college fund for his boys. Maybe a new re-fill for his waterbed. Or he could just blow it on a fur-lined mic.

As for the game, it’s the Chiefs vs the Buccaneers. In spite of their victory last year and their refusal to change their name or stop that insipid tomahawk chop, I will be very reluctantly rooting for them. It’s not the Buccaneers team as a whole that’s so disturbing, in fact I’d love the see former Bronco Shaq Barrett dismantle the QB machine known as Mahomey. It’s Brady. Tom Brady has been in nearly 25% of all Super Bowls. His teams are 6-3. That’s enough. He needs to lose and lose badly.
I don’t bet on the game itself. It ruins the enjoyment of it for me. Therefore, I think I’ll hit the prop (proposition or ‘side’ bet) bets. Let’s take a quick look at a few of them now.

How Many Commercials will have a dog in them? This is an over-under bet and sits at 4.5. Since a half-dog is pretty much impossible let alone gross, take the over. Biden is in office now so dogs are front page news.

Will there be a COVID vaccine commercial? A ‘no’ means you need to bet 160 to win a 100. However, it’s likely there will not be one specifically about the actual vaccine.

Super Bowl Gatorade shower color? No, it’s not a weird new shower product, it’s about what color the liquid is when it’s poured onto the winning coach. Since the Chiefs will win, I’d go with red/pink. It’s at +300, so $100 wins you $300.

Total TD passes by Mahomes? The over-under is set at 2.5. Over means you need to drop 150 to win a 100. I’d do that.

Chiefs Tyreek Hill can fly. I did not know he could hover too. Ridiculous.

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Uncategorized

Life in the Fap Lane: My Pandemic as a Sex Worker Part Three

February 5, 2021February 5, 2021by loveisnomystery2 Comments

My week as an accidental FemDom

Being a femdom/goddess was never my kink or intent. Typically in the bedroom I act as more of a submissive although I do clearly maintain a certain level of control at all times, but I think that’s more a neurotic paranoia thing than a ‘get off by being in control’ type thing. But some fans requested JOI (jerk off instruction) videos and after perusing pornhub (the google of porn), I had a pretty good sense of what they wanted and created some content. One dude took a particular interest in a video where I was wearing a corset and pleather pants ($15.99 from Amazon), and began messaging me for…more. Typically I send a lot of blush face, kiss face, and devil horn smiley face emojis during my OF conversations, but this guy made it clear that what he wanted…what he needed… more than empty emojis was to be verbally assaulted by a woman he found attractive. And thus began my week as a goddess.

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Music/Movies, The Swiftening

The Swiftening, Part 8: folklore (2020)… Swift Dunk Ernest

February 3, 2021February 2, 2021by The Fancy Boys3 Comments

Before December of 2020, Jordan Holmes (comedian, author, podcaster) had never, intentionally, listened to a Taylor Swift song. Then began The Swiftening, where Jordan decided to review every Swift album in order. So far, he has covered Swift’s 2006 debut, 2008’s Fearless, 2010’s Speak Now, and 2012 ‘s Red, 2014’s 1989, 2017’s reputation, and last year’s Lover, which we encourage you to check out if you haven’t already.

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