Fancy Boys Club

Brandon Watches The Bachelor: Episode Two Recap

January 12, 2021January 21, 2021by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Editors Note: Fancy Boys Club Co-Founder Brandon Andreasen has never watched The Bachelor before. His Mondays are normally reserved for Professional Wrestling, which he suspects is more real than The Bachelor. He is going to review and comment as he watches. Check back every Tuesday on Fancy Boys Club for Brandon’s thoughts on this new and scary endeavor.

My worst fears have been confirmed. Every episode is two hours long. For those that need a quick recap of last week, I suggest you watch the WWF classic Royal Rumble 1989. It’s like that, only infinitely more passive aggressive. I feel like the women are going to start getting more brazen towards eachother as they battle for the love of Matt, noted fit human being and cuff link contemplator.

How are they going to start this episode? Last week, we got a dildo!

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Comedy, Sports

Lace Them Up – The 2021 NHL Season Preview

January 11, 2021January 10, 2021by copperwriteLeave a Comment

Apparently the Zambonis have all been finally fixed and are able to smooth the ice so the NHL can begin their season January 13th. Luckily the 13^th is not a Friday, but it may as well be. Yeah I know, it’s not the Zambonis’ fault they haven’t started the season. It was NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman’s fault. Fine, it was COVID… or how best to navigate COVID. But, Bettman is such an awful commissioner he’s always the person to point at for NHL problems.

Last year, as you may recall it since the season just ended in the middle of September, the Tampa Bay Lightning took home Lord Stanley’s Cup. It’s so 2020 to have a team that never has any ice outside of its arena claim the Cup.

Yeah, I know. That was so last Fall. So who’s going to hoist the Cup this year… whenever the season ends given the specter of COVID? The season is slated for 56 games, roughly 2/3rds of a normal season. But for the NHL, 56 games is enough to determine who should make the playoffs and who shouldn’t since nearly every team makes the playoffs anyway. A full 16 out of 31 teams make the playoffs. Next year it’ll be a full 50% as the Seattle Kraken are coming. Damn it I love that name.

A side note: before we get into the deep chasms of ice and hand out predictions easier than a dirty carny hands out tainted sno-cones, we have a couple rule changes to go over.

Number 1 – Offsides is now determined to not occur until the offensive players last skate completely crosses the blue line. Ergo, if a skater’s foot is in the air, but still behind or above the line when the puck completely crosses the blue line, he is onside. I am dubbing this the “phantom foot” as I can envision a lot of extended time being allotted while the NHL replay monitors in Toronto spend minutes drinking Labatt’s and deciding if the foot was or wasn’t over as it hovers in frozen time threatening to cross it.

Number 2 – the Colorado Avalanche are allowed to play with an extra attacker the entire season.

Fine, the second one doesn’t exist. It should though. It’s only fair as their goalie situation is still as shaky as spring pond hockey. That’s the reason why they didn’t make it to the final and soundly whip that team from the south. Should I go on with my predictions? Isn’t that enough?

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Sports

And All That Jazz: the Style and Grace of Andre Drummond

January 9, 2021January 9, 2021by Michael GraceLeave a Comment

If you’re not super-familiar with the NBA or basketball in general, or maybe you’re just a casual fan, you may be inclined to think that professional players should be great at most aspects of the game. Then you really watch a game and notice that some players are just not suited for some specific jobs on the court. Take for instance the job of the Center. He’s basically there to grab rebounds, win tipoffs, and get high percentage shots like dunks and put-backs after misses. So when a play collapses and the Center is out there on an island, what is he to do? Andre Drummond, two-time all star of the Cleveland Cavaliers, answered for us. What transpired was a thing of beauty.

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Comedy, Misc., Music/Movies, politics, Pop Culture, Sports, television, YouTube

Friday Five: Special 2020 Wrap-Up Edition!

January 8, 2021January 10, 2021by The Fancy BoysLeave a Comment

2020 was, to put it mildly, a weird year.

COVID affected every aspect of our lives, including the art we consumed and, perhaps more importantly, how we consume it. We couldn’t go to the movie theater. Many artists we releasing their “quarantine albums”. Most shows and movies had to stop production for some period of time. Sports went away and then came back under weird conditions.

But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a great year for the arts. It was just… different.

Because of this, we scrapped our plans to write the “Best Of” articles that usually appear in magazines and websites. We’re bringing back the Friday Five. We asked our writers and guest contributors to list their five favorite pieces of consumed media from the last year.

Here is what The Fancy Boys loved about 2020.

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politics

President-Sponsored Terrorism

January 6, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

About two hours ago, I turned on the television to watch the counting of the electoral votes. I knew that some senators and congressmen were going to be making a big fracas about stuff, and I knew that people were going to be protesting somewhere in Washington. If I’m being honest, I didn’t know what to expect.

I know that I didn’t expect this.

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Music/Movies, The Swiftening, Uncategorized

The Swiftening, part 4: Rednarok [Red (2012)]

January 6, 2021January 5, 2021by The Fancy Boys7 Comments

Until very recently, Jordan Holmes had never, intentionally, listened to a Taylor Swift song in his life. Then he began The Swiftening, in which he promised to listen to every Taylor Swift album in its entirety. Parts 1-3 of The Swiftening gave us Jordan’s thoughts on her 2006 self-titled album, 2008’s Fearless, and 2010’s Speak Now.

Red is Taylor Swift’s 4th studio album and I knew from the beginning this is where things would get tricky.

Red was the album most referenced to me as music to look forward to. The album means a lot, or some at least, to a lot of, or some at least, people. “Tread lightly – at your peril” was the tone.

Abandon hope all ‘Ye who enter here.

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Sports

NFL Mailbag- Wildcard Weekend Edition!

January 5, 2021January 5, 2021by Jack BakerLeave a Comment

It’s Wild Card Weekend baby! As always, Matt Drufke- who watches none of the games- has so many questions. Fortunately, Fancy Boys Football experts Brendan Andreasen and Jack Baker do and are usually happy to answer some of them. Let’s mailbag.

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Uncategorized

Brandon Watches The Bachelor: Episode One

January 5, 2021January 5, 2021by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Okay so wait. This is two hours long? No. No. No. No. I’m already ready to pull a Goose from Top Gun and eject from this. It’s gotta just be a first episode thing, right? I really don’t have to devote two hours EVERY week to this, do I?

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Comedy, Uncategorized

These are a Few of my Favorite Things

January 4, 2021January 3, 2021by copperwriteLeave a Comment

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,

I wrote some words and I think that I’m smitten,

Brown paper packages tied up with strings,

These words are a few of my favorite things.

Hey internet fans of Fancy Boys, here’s a recap of 2020 articles as written by… moi… with a few fun facts to know and tell about Julie Andrews.

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Comedy, Sports

On Being a Sports Fan

December 31, 2020December 31, 2020by copperwriteLeave a Comment

If one were to ask me, I’d say I am a casual fan of many teams – if one were to define ‘casual’ as being one who has at least enough in their tool belt of fandom to whip out the right tool for the job for discussion. I cannot recite stats. I cannot pull team folklore and craziness out of my ass and relate it to some event in a personal manner.

Nor do I want to do it.

That sort of fandom to me is a tad excessive as well as obsessive and I can see why athletes get a little wary of those types – the adults who wear a guy’s jersey and then ask for an autograph. In fact, I will take it a step further – wearing anyone’s jersey seems a bit excessive. You’re not them, that’s not your name on the back. Why are you wearing someone else’s name on your back? Why are you spending so much time and effort following a team as if you are a part of the team? And why are you all dressing up like this clown?

Here’s a little advice Bears fans – don’t. Ditka never liked you. Ever.

WHY ARE YOU USING THE WORD ‘WE?’

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