Super Bowl – Fancy Boys Club

Whose Lyric Is It? Taylor Swift or Gwar: Super Bowl Edition

February 5, 2024February 5, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

The Grammys have just wrapped up. A night of Tracy Chapman and Billy Joel(both of which I very much care about) and..well pretty much everything else I don’t. While Miley Cyrus went to her hair stylist and said “Give me the Wynona Judd, 1989 edition” while operating sans undergarments (like Wynona Judd in 1989), a beauty came across the stage to regale herself in the “Album of the Year” victory most foresaw.

Taylor Swift isn’t so much an artist as a small nation. She is a blonde haired Che Guevara in the way she incites her followers. While she has become the angst of the Republican Party (and I love her so, so much for it) one nagging thing has always burdened her career: Has She Been Stealing Her Song Lyrics From GWAR?

Continue reading →

NFL, Sports

Can Your Team Win the Super Bowl: A Guide for Non-Fans

January 9, 2024January 8, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Congratulations, well adjusted adult. You have just spent the past four months spending your Sundays doing repairs around the house, going to brunch with friends, foraging for various vegetables you could purchase at the grocery store instead, or whatever hobby you developed that doesn’t involve you screaming at a TV. As a non-football fan, you have been able to funnel your anger and love and frustration into things that could be construed as a hobby, like splunking.

The calendar has flipped to the second weekend of January now, and that means the NFL playoffs. Mere weeks away from the Super Bowl. Legally, you are obligated to care then. So why not jump on the football bandwagon now. It’s kind of like The Golden Bachelor, only a somehow less depressing look at mortality.

Continue reading →

NFL, Uncategorized

FBC NFL Power Rankings 3/4 Season Edition

December 7, 2022by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

It seems like just yesterday that I lost interest in writing a weekly power ranking of NFL teams that you could find on literally any sports website (albeit less funny and witty). Then I blinked and suddenly the season is 75% done. If you are a Bears fan like me, the season was over the moment they chose to draft Kyler Gordon and Velus Jones over, you know, players with talent. If you are a Packers fan, your season didn’t end until Aaron Rodgers started acting like he had been shot every time someone touched him. If you are a fan of the Eagles, then your season is very much still alive.

Now that we are past Thanksgiving and headlong into the Mariah Carey soundtracked Christmas hellscape, it’s time to take a look at every team based on my patented Adam Gase Scale. For those that don’t remember, Gase is one of the worst coaches in NFL history, and managed to get hired by the Jets to be head coach even after he had been discovered to be a fraud. The more Adam Gases on the Adam Gase scale, the worse a team is.

Continue reading →

NFL, Sports, television

California Knows How To Party: Dr. Dre, Sexual Anarchy, and Where This Super Bowl Halftime Show Ranks

February 14, 2022February 14, 2022by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

First off, let’s get the disappointments out of the way: there was no hologram Tupac on Sunday night.

Continue reading →

Advice, NFL, Sports

An Agnostic Football Fan Guide to the Super Bowl

February 9, 2022February 8, 2022by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

So it’s that time of the year. The biggest sporting event of the season is happening and your favorite team is long since eliminated from contention. The elimination could be heartbreaking (49ers/Chiefs) or predetermined by fate (Jaguars/Lions). Thirty fan bases are left out in the rain on February 13th. And the remaining fanbases?

Bengals fans have been so embarrassed by their team over the past three decades that they didn’t really claim their own existence until a month and a half ago.

The Rams….well, they don’t have fans. I can speak to this because I was in St. Louis over the weekend, when they beat the 49ers to go to the Super Bowl. The team, who existed in the STL until just a couple years ago, do not have many fans (more on this later). The team now exists in Los Angeles, which doesn’t give a damn about them.

Over 70 million people watch the Super Bowl each year. The vast majority of those people are not fans of the Bengals or Rams. Welcome to the Agnostic Football Fan Guide to Super Bowl LVI.

Continue reading →

NFL

The Great Gridiron in the Sky is Gifted a Legend

December 28, 2021December 29, 2021by copperwriteLeave a Comment

BOOM! With crazy-ass Al Davis, getting a great coach and keeping them is pure luck. He rolled 7’s to get John Madden. Madden was first hired as the Raiders Linebacker Coach then two years later moved up to the head coaching position to become – at the time – the youngest head coach ever at 32. He lasted 9 seasons with Al Davis, and took the Raiders to a Super Bowl, winning Super Bowl XI against the hapless Vikings 32-14 (yes the Vikings are hapless. They are the Bills of the NFC: 4 trips and 0 trophies).

Continue reading →

Comedy, Sports

How The Kansas City Chiefs Won Super Bowl LV, Globalist Cabal Be Damned

February 8, 2021February 8, 2021by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

February 7, 2021- It’s midway through the first quarter of Super Bowl LV, and in his suite, Kansas City Chiefs owner Clark Hunt is already celebrating. His team, the expected favorite for tonight’s game, has just taken a 3-0 lead over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Surely, the Chiefs would be winning their second consecutive Super Bowl and he would be returning to Kansas City with the Lombardi Trophy and ready to bask in the praise the city would throw his way.

Then, there was a problem.

Continue reading →

Comedy, Uncategorized

These are a Few of my Favorite Things

January 4, 2021January 3, 2021by copperwriteLeave a Comment

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens,

I wrote some words and I think that I’m smitten,

Brown paper packages tied up with strings,

These words are a few of my favorite things.

Hey internet fans of Fancy Boys, here’s a recap of 2020 articles as written by… moi… with a few fun facts to know and tell about Julie Andrews.

Continue reading →

Music/Movies, Pop Culture, television

Hips Don’t Lie: A Super Bowl LIV Halftime Show Review

February 3, 2020March 23, 2020by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

Last night, the city of Miami and millions of people all over the world were treated to an exciting and exhilarating display of athleticism and a wonderful reminder of what we all can achieve if we are willing to put in the effort.

Also, there was a football game.

Continue reading →

Sports, Uncategorized

I give you Props: Proposition bets for LIV

January 28, 2020January 26, 2020by copperwrite1 Comment

Hey kids, as you may well know – or not depending upon your life I guess – Super Bowl LIV is this Sunday. Who’s playing? It’s the Chiefs and the 49ers, but really who cares? This isn’t about who wins, but who makes money.

No, I’m not going to go on and on about which square to pick on the party or office grid to win sweet cash each quarter that eventually gets claimed victory by Francine the receptionist who generally hopes the team whose quarterback has the better-looking ass wins.

However, ladies and gents, that winner could be you using a different form of betting. And if you have the propensity to gamble your life away, why not do it watching a game rather than sitting at a roulette table quietly praying to your desired Lord to make that ball hit 22 Black? WARNING: No bet is a surefire thing (they are about as surefire a thing as a long-lasting marriage), but there are some Super Bowl bets you may want to make to try and expand your pocketbook.

How does one make some coin you may ask? With a proposition bet. A proposition bet, short form prop bet, is one where a person such as yourself puts some money down on an occurrence… or non-occurrence… happening during any game, but especially the Super Bowl.

There are more than 400 prop bets you can make. Heck no I am not going to go over all of them, but let’s check out a few that aren’t the typical “Will so-and-so score a touchdown in the first half” kind of prop bets.

Continue reading “I give you Props: Proposition bets for LIV” →