Sweet merciful shit. Every team from 8-20 is pretty much interchangeable. This is all just a big fuckaround. Am I going to do memes? Will I write a haiku for every team? Will I give actual analysis? Will I just do 32 different gifs of Kid Rock? Should I rank everyone based on their special teams? What about their DVOA?
After a week off, we are back! Matt Drufke is feeding Brandon Andreasen and Brian Roman questions about what we have seen in the NFL and what is going on moving forward. As always, there will be Shakira references, because there is no god.
To make up for the fact that nobody seems to be reading the words I have to say, i’m going to try a different tact. This week, every team is going to be represented by a meme I made of them. That’ll show you illiterates! I made all of these memes myself, which it turns out is mind numbingly dumb. Congrats to all the people who make memes all day only to have the Grape Juice Boys steal from them. You guys are the real heroes.
Set fire to the infinite. We are destined to have a season where 20 teams finish 9-8 or 8-9. It’s not the future we want. But it’s the future we will get. Let’s do the week three power rankings.
1: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tom Brady is on pace to throw 76 touchdown passes this season, and Rob Gronkowski is on pace for 34 of them. I’m not saying this will happen, but i’ve given up on the concept of believing it might not happen with this goddamn warlock and his forever frat bro tight end.
The mailbag is back! Every week, Matt Drufke has questions about the NFL. Every week, Brandon Andreasen and a special guest answer guest, both of whom know much, much more about football than Matt, give their thoughts. This week, the guest is Brian Roman. Let’s dive in.