NFL Draft Live Blog Night 2: Electric Boogaloo

NFL Draft Live Blog Night 2: Electric Boogaloo

Brandon Andreasen, 5:58 PM: I’m back everyone! I was planning on skipping tonight, and just hanging out, having a few drinks and watching the draft after a long day of work. For those keeping track, I was at work all night last night to cover for my supervisor having the day off. I left work at 10:45 PM last night, and then to cover my first shift supervisor, I was back at work at 4:45 AM this morning. Well guess what? My second shift supervisor didn’t come to work again today, so i’m in the back end of an 18 hour work day today, and coming to you live as I slowly lose my mind!

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Buh-Bye XFL – A chat

Ciao. Ta ta. Sayonara. Is it sad? Can’t say I was totally invested in it, but there were some things that certainly spent time idling about hoping against all hope the XFL would return and flourish. As such, while I broke open the grill for another fabulous outdoor season of sizzling meat by tending to a rack of baby backs, I decided to conduct an interview with one who had been in the trenches since not only this re-issue of the XFL, but has been there since the first XFL experiment.

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Roughneck Report – Take 4

Woot. Woot… and Woot.

Yes, Roughneck fans, and you know who you are you Rowdies, the Roughnecks are undefeated! You know what that means, yep – they have yet to lose a game!

Un•de•feat•ed: not defeated, especially in a battle or other contest.

The Houston Roughnecks rolled into Dallas like a drunk tumbleweed on acid and demolished the retched Renegades. Oh sure the final score, 27-20, and those pesky factual stats that indicated it was a close game doesn’t seem like a ‘demolishing,’ but let me tell you those Roughnecks made sure they demolished the Renegades in their head! Yes, a complete psychological ass-kicking especially to…

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Autumn for Basic Bitches

Autumn in Chicago can be hard on a Basic Bitch. Society tries to convince us that we’re the only ones who love cozying up with a pumpkin spice latté and our favorite Charlotte Brontë novel. So I’ve decided to make a list of the top 6 things us Basic Bitches are looking forward to this season in the hopes that we can all unabashedly enjoy them together. 

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The Clock is Your Friend, Soccer

I am a fan of the Premier League Football team Tottenham Hotspur. However, I am not necessarily a zealous fan of football/futbol/soccer for one particular reason – the clock. Fine, I can handle players falling like bowling pins every time they feel a breeze go by from an opposing player. I can handle them laying on the pitch for five minutes writhing in pain grabbing whatever body part they felt was injured… and then getting up and playing some more.

OK, I can barely handle that. That’s dumb. Drag them off the field and get on with it.

What vexes me as much as Wisconsin drivers using the left lane like it’s their Sunday drive is clock management… or lack of clock management. Time was created by man, so let’s use it, shall we? When a player is egregiously fouled by an opposing player by something as awful as a tap on the shoulder and falls into a fetal position onto the field as if someone took their blankie? The clock keeps ticking time off the regulation 45 minute half. Doesn’t seem fair right?

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Fancy Boys NFL Power Rankings Week 2

Fancy Boys NFL Power Rankings Week 2

32 teams started their season this week. 31 team will continue on, while the Miami Dolphins are getting immediately relegated to the Big East conference, where they will play University of Connecticut and Syracuse, and probably lose to the University of Pittsburgh.
Some things were expected, like the Chiefs winning and Jameis Winston being terrible. Elsewhere, the Chargers and Seahawks escaped with victories, while the Jaguars lost their quarterback, the Giants unfortunately still have theirs, and the Cardinals and Lions took turns trying to prove who deserved to win less. Let’s get into it!

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Fancy Boys Week 1 NFL Mailbag

Fancy Boys Week 1 NFL Mailbag

Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.

Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.

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Fancy Boys Football: Season Predictions & Super Bowl Picks

Fancy Boys Football: Season Predictions & Super Bowl Picks

Football season is finally here. And the Fancy Boys Football team is done reading Matt Drufke’s crystal ball and ready to share our expert predictions for the 2019 season.

Who will be the MVP? Will Aaron Donald win a third straight Defensive Player of the Year award? Will the Dolphins win a game? [Editor’s note: they will not] How many types of cheese will be on Matt Drufke’s pregame charcuterie plate?

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FBC NFL Preview: NFC North

FBC NFL Preview: NFC North

Let’s get it on! It’s the only preview any of you care about! The NFC North. The Bears return almost an entire roster that had 12 wins last year. The Packers jettisoned their well massaged Butterball turkey of a coach and fortified their defense. The Vikings rebuilt their offensive line. The Lions fired Jim Bob Cooter. It’s midwest football babaayyyyy!

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