March Fatness: The Heart Attack Region (with results from the Liver Failure Region)

Fast food isn’t healthy. It’s doesn’t always taste good. Sometimes, it’s can barely even be considered food.

And yet, there’s something about it that’s undeniable. There’s a comfort to unwrapping a cheeseburger or eating fries in the car. There’s peace in leaving a drive-thru knowing that your needs will all be met. And sometimes, you’re just hungover as balls.

Whether it’s burgers, fries, desserts, or a variety of other items, we’ve taken 64 of the best foods which are prepared quickly and will have them competing against each other. And we need your help to determine the winner.

Enter March Fatness.

Yesterday, we had Round 1 of the Liver Failure Regional. We’ll post the results at the end of this article. Today, we’re in the Liver Failure Region.

Vote for your favorites over on the Fancy Boys Club Facebook page. Polls close at 10 am tomorrow and then its on to the High Cholesterol Regional.

Unlike America, we like to make voting easy. So find links to all of today’s match-ups below:

(1) Arby’s Curly Fries v (16) Pizza Hut Breadsticks

(8) Jimmy John’s Italian Night Club v (9) KFC Famous Bowl

(5)  Carl Jr.’s/Hardee’s Quarter Pound Burger v (12) Wendy’s Southwest Avocado Chicken Salad

(4)  McDonald’s Egg McMuffin v (13) Dairy Queen Blizzard

(3) Culver’s Double Cheddar Burger v (14) McDonald’s Cheeseburger

(6) Panda Express’ Beijing Beef v (11) Arby’s Jamocha Shake

(7) Portillo’s French Fries v (10) 7/11 Buffalo Chicken Taquito

(2) Panera’s Broccoli Cheddar Bread Bowl v (15) Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers

Round 1 Updates!

The Liver Failure Region played it’s first round yesterday. Here are those results:

(1) White Castle Slider easily handled (16) Wendy’s French Fries, 61%-39%.
(8) Taco Bell’s Nacho Bell Grande barely squeaked by (9) McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets, 52%-48%.
(5) McDonald’s McGriddles inched by (12) Rally’s Seasoned Fries, 54%-46%.
(4) Portillo’s Hot Dog dominated (13) Cici’s Mac & Cheese Pizza, 95%-5%
(3) Steak N Shake’s Frisco Melt snuck through, barely beating (14) Burger King’s Loaded Croissant, 52%-48%
(6) Taco Bell’s Spicy Potato Soft Taco took care of (11) 7/11’s Half Pound Big Bite Dog, 70%-30%.
(7) Wendy’s Spicy Nuggets knocked out (10) Portillo’s Maxwell St. Polish, 70%-30%
(2) Burger King’s Whopper beat (15) Whataburger’s Sweet & Spicy Bacon Burger, 72%-28%

Now get out there and vote!

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