Ciao. Ta ta. Sayonara. Is it sad? Can’t say I was totally invested in it, but there were some things that certainly spent time idling about hoping against all hope the XFL would return and flourish. As such, while I broke open the grill for another fabulous outdoor season of sizzling meat by tending to a rack of baby backs, I decided to conduct an interview with one who had been in the trenches since not only this re-issue of the XFL, but has been there since the first XFL experiment.
Continue reading “Buh-Bye XFL – A chat”March Fatness: Your Champion!
After 5 weeks and 63 matches, March Fatness is complete!
Continue reading “March Fatness: Your Champion!”There and Back Again and Oh, Damn It: A Journey Already Once Taken
As Frodo Baggins awoke in an unfamiliar bed, the bright and comforting sunlight of Minas Tirith greeting him with warm cheek kisses, his eyes made out the silhouette of a friendly figure. Gandalf the White stood before him, beaming with relief to see the young Halfling up and finally home safely from his burdonous quest. Bounding in from the adjacent terrace came Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took, leaping onto the bed and jumping with glee to see their dear friend alive. Next came Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn, three of Middle Earth’s mightiest warriors who laid their lives on the line to ensure Frodo’s success, awashed with relief to see that the sacrifices of many brave men and women did not go in vain. Finally, enter Samwise Gamgee, Frodo’s dearest friend, savior, and perhaps the greatest hero of this epic tale. The two simply exchange a smile and a nod, knowing that the many Hells they faced together made their bond even stronger. They left a home they didn’t want to leave for parts unknown, met copious amounts of peril with tremendous courage the likes of which had never been seen from their kind, and saved an entire realm from a seemingly unstoppable evil. They survived a quest that was meant to be their end.
Now imagine, after all that, Frodo reached into his pocket and found another One Ring. I bet he’d be pretty fucking miffed about it.
Continue reading “There and Back Again and Oh, Damn It: A Journey Already Once Taken”March Fatness: Championship Match
It all comes down to this!
With Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich beating Dairy Queen Blizzard, 58%-42%, they have moved on to the championship match where they gave the overall #1 seed in the tournament, Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich.
Short blog post today. The match is live on our Facebook and Twitter. Vote and share.
Let’s end this thing.
The Bulls Enter Uncharted Waters
If you would have told me back when the Covid-19 lockdowns started that the Chicago Bulls would be the team to clear house and start making moves, I’d have assumed that meant they fired the entire ticketing department to make a bigger office for noted rat faced human Gar Foreman.
Continue reading “The Bulls Enter Uncharted Waters”Roughneck Report, Take 5
With all the hubbub, hullabaloo or both if you prefer (after all it is your life), I completely neglected to scribble out something for the Roughneck Report, Take 5.
I mean what was I thinking about? What else could possibly be going on to thwart me from my duties as the Roughnecks numero uno fan of the fan base probably only known by me as the Rowdies?
I could have been thinking that maybe… possibly… along the lines of our esteemed federal government this whole ‘virus thing’ would blow over, cross our collective paths like an errant tumbleweed across the great American desert.
Well my friends, that was not it. Those of us who are relatively sane knew how the Administration of the Bloated Circus Peanut would stumble around like a bantamweight after a Henry Cejudo haymaker and for certain fuck this whole mess up.
Oh well, back to the report. Okay. The Roughnecks have finished the aborted season undefeated and for certain are the de facto champions for the 2020 XFL season which may possibly be the only XFL season.
Hand them the fucking trophy Vince McMahon, which I think is just his head in a fabulous bronze patina.
Congrats Roughnecks. Now you can afford to go out and find a logo that doesn’t rip-off the old Houston Oilers.
No ending cheer. Season’s over.
PS Seriously be safe out there and do not trust in the Federal Government to give two shits about you and your family, not with the bleating yam in charge.
PPS Weezer really got me pumped to whip this little old report right quickly. Thanks!
March Fatness: Final Four, Part 2
Fast food isn’t healthy. It’s doesn’t always taste good. Sometimes, it’s can barely even be considered food.
And yet, there’s something about it that’s undeniable. There’s a comfort to unwrapping a cheeseburger or eating fries in the car. There’s peace in leaving a drive-thru knowing that your needs will all be met. And sometimes, you’re just hungover as balls.
Whether it’s burgers, fries, desserts, or a variety of other items, we’ve taken 64 of the best foods which are prepared quickly and will have them competing against each other. And we need your help to determine the winner.
Enter March Fatness.
Continue reading “March Fatness: Final Four, Part 2”The Definition Of Power
What is power? What does it entail?
Is it money? Anyone can have money. Lottery winners aren’t powerful; they’re lucky.
Is it influence? Hardly. No one really knows what that is or how to get it.
To me, power is like pornography: you know it when you see it.
And no one had more power at any given time that Jay-Z did in 2006.
Continue reading “The Definition Of Power”March Fatness: The Final Four, Part 1
Fast food isn’t healthy. It’s doesn’t always taste good. Sometimes, it’s can barely even be considered food.
And yet, there’s something about it that’s undeniable. There’s a comfort to unwrapping a cheeseburger or eating fries in the car. There’s peace in leaving a drive-thru knowing that your needs will all be met. And sometimes, you’re just hungover as balls.
Whether it’s burgers, fries, desserts, or a variety of other items, we’ve taken 64 of the best foods which are prepared quickly and will have them competing against each other. And we need your help to determine the winner.
Enter March Fatness.
Continue reading “March Fatness: The Final Four, Part 1”How To Never Get Booked For A Comedy Show, part 3…
I’ve had a lot of fun writing the first two stories in this series. They’ve been fun for a lot of reasons: it’s been great to reminisce about the old days with some of my friends who have read this, I hope I’m presenting some good lessons on what not to do to newer comedians, and it’s been a super-joy to dunk on some assclowns who kinda (absolutely) deserve it.
To start this newest edition, however, I think I’m going to start with the best piece of advice I can give anyone in comedy when dealing with a booker. Not only is it good comedy advice, but it’s good life advice.
Be honest and self-aware.
Continue reading “How To Never Get Booked For A Comedy Show, part 3…”
