food

Crust: the Past, Present, and Future of Pizza’s Most Controversial Inch

by Michael GraceLeave a Comment on Crust: the Past, Present, and Future of Pizza’s Most Controversial Inch
Crust: the Past, Present, and Future of Pizza’s Most Controversial Inch

A few years ago I took my wife on a weekend getaway in Michigan wine country for her birthday. We stopped in the Dollar General located in the town of Bridgman for a few snacks between wineries. While waiting to check out, a man pointed to a product beside the register and said to his friend, “Chili flavored sunflower seeds. Now I’ve seen everything.” It has stuck with me since then. That was it. That was the top of the mountain. He had seen it all. But yet, my coastal Michigan friend, you had not. For just like the eternally prescient Bob Dylan once said, “oh the times they are a-changin’.” Change they did, as DiGiorno brought forth the croissant-crusted frozen pizza just this past year. It was a new frontier, but eventually the land Lewis and Clark explored just becomes a gas station. Innovation becomes blasé. So where do we go from here? The answer lies in our past.

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politics, Pop Culture

The Anthony Fauci Email That The Deep State Is Hiding From You

by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment on The Anthony Fauci Email That The Deep State Is Hiding From You
The Anthony Fauci Email That The Deep State Is Hiding From You

Weeks ago, due to a FOIA request, the emails (electronic mails) from Dr. Anthony Fauci were shown to the public and people lost their fucking minds. Granted, almost every fucking one of those people were really stupid (to be fair, others were deliberate liars and some were just gullible), but there is no doubt that this became a major news story. Conservatives dubbed it “Fauci-Gate”, because they love putting that suffix on the end of, basically everything. Other, more reasonable people, read the emails with the added benefit of hindsight and realized that everything that was said was, literally, no big deal at all.

However, there is one email that was not released that would shock the world.

And I would know, because I was the recipient of that email.

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Comedy, Misc.

One Of My Favorite Comedians

by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment on One Of My Favorite Comedians
One Of My Favorite Comedians

When people find out I do stand-up comedy, they usually ask me who some of my favorite comedians are. And one name always pops to the front of mind every time, but I never say who it is. It’s too hard to explain to someone how one of the funniest and most original talents I’ve ever been lucky enough to witness is a name they’ve never heard of and a comic they’ll never see.

And it’s too hard to talk about how the brilliant Dan Ronan, a man I considered a friend, passed away.

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baseball, Sports

Old People Need To Chill: Tony LaRussa

by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment on Old People Need To Chill: Tony LaRussa

I wasn’t planning to start this series until next week, but when Christmas comes in May, you have to take notice. When every normal person absolutely sees a train barreling down a bus full of kindergartners coming and the only person that could stop it is tied to railroad tracks, Snidely Whiplash style. The baseball equivalent of Old Man Yells at Cloud was not only returning to Major League Baseball, he was taking over a team that had a diverse group of big personalities that are redefining how to play the game with fun and joy.

Tony LaRussa needs to chill the fuck out.

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Comedy, Sports

Dear NHL, Please STOP BEING STUPID

by copperwriteLeave a Comment on Dear NHL, Please STOP BEING STUPID

I thought I’d take a big giant step onto a frozen pond and take a look into the NHL playoffs. After all, they started two days go. Perfect timing… except the NHL, while starting Round 1 of the playoffs is STILL MAKING TEAMS FINISH THE SEASON WHO DIDN’T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS.

Seriously, CAPS is the only way I can make a statement here. This is so blindingly stupid I cannot even put it into words other than MAKING THEM ALL CAPS. The Vancouver Canucks and Calgary Flames, two teams who haven’t been in any contention whatsoever to snag any playoff spot in the Scotia North division since, I don’t know, mid-March, have two regular season games left. The play tonight and tomorrow. This is going on DURING ROUND 1 OF THE PLAYOFFS.

Does this make any sense? Is it me? Have the NHL brass been playing pond hockey without helmets again?
Traditionally – well hell let’s just throw tradition right out the window into a snowdrift shall we – the playoffs begin when the season ends. Every single major sport does it this way. Why you may ask? So the entire focus is on the playoffs and not wondering how the bottom tier teams are going to do tonight and what impact it has on their draft slot. WHO CARES?! NO ONE!

By the time the season ends for the Flames and Canucks, four of the first-round matchups will be done with Game 2 of their respective series. This is so incomprehensibly stupid I cannot get my head around it SO I JUST HAVE TO USE CAPS.

Sigh. Deep breath. STUPID. Try again,. Sigh. Deep breath. Meditate. Don’t think. Let it go. Frozen. Frozen. Canada. Flames. Canucks. DAMMIT.
I’ll be back.

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Uncategorized

New Kid Shatters Ice

by Billy Sullivan2 Comments on New Kid Shatters Ice
New Kid Shatters Ice

(Thwap)

That’s the sound. That’s the sound of my name tag being stuck on to my shirt. Why the nametag? Well I’m the new kid here. The new kid in town, in school. That being said (or in this case written) I need to engage in the cliched tradition of breaking the proverbial ice. Well, why? Why should I? I mean, you’ll get to know me in time right? Why would I need to spill everything at once? I mean is there a reason I can’t just be random and let you all find me? In a word, no.

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baseball, Sports

An Athletics Relocation Adventure

by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment on An Athletics Relocation Adventure

If you have been paying attention to the minutiae of baseball television rights alongside the proliferation of new modern baseball stadiums, and i’m sure you have, then you are very aware of the situation of the Oakland Athletics. The A’s, formerly of Philadelphia and Kansas City, debuted in Oakland in the Oakland Coliseum in April of 1968. Since then, the Athletics have played all of their home games in the stadium, which doubled for many decades as the home stadium of the Oakland Raiders.

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Advice

Old People Need to Chill: An Ongoing Series

by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment on Old People Need to Chill: An Ongoing Series
Old People Need to Chill: An Ongoing Series

Everyone thinks they are going to age gracefully. Each of us believes that we will be the ones to stare down the cold hand of death and rebel against it by keeping up with the latest trends, listening to the newest music, and doing what them young folks be doin’. To say the least, this is an appalling afront to the sensibilities of everyone who grew up and opted to age gracefully. Today, I saw an old man in skinny jeans, boots, and a shirt that should be worn by someone four decades his junior. He was wearing Warby Parker glasses that would make Andy Warhol blush. He had a french bulldog following him as if it were father time, waiting for him to kick the bucket from drinking too much Red Bull.

It should go without saying that this man did not look cool. This man did not look hip. This man looked like he saw what hip was, thought to himself “Well, this will make me look like the coolest person at the Homeowners Association Meeting” and went for it. He thought he was going to stand at the mountaintop of fashion and look down on his suburban counterparts with a stylish contempt. Instead, he went off the cliff, full-on Thelma and Louise style. Just full yeet.

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Advice, Comedy, Pop Culture

Turn That Genetically-Modified Microchipped Frown Upside-Down: Confronting Fears About Vaccination

by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment on Turn That Genetically-Modified Microchipped Frown Upside-Down: Confronting Fears About Vaccination
Turn That Genetically-Modified Microchipped Frown Upside-Down: Confronting Fears About Vaccination

The reality is that while the vaccination rollout in the country has been pretty amazing, it’s starting to hit a speed bump I don’t think a lot of people expected: too many people are choosing to not participate, leading our nation to worry we may not hit the herd immunity number. For reasonable Americans, this causes a great deal of confusion, anxiety and trepidation. That being said, I imagine Tucker Carlson and Jenny McCarthy meet to talk about this and excitedly bone every night. Shame on you, Jenny… you’re married.

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