I thought I’d take a big giant step onto a frozen pond and take a look into the NHL playoffs. After all, they started two days go. Perfect timing… except the NHL, while starting Round 1 of the playoffs is STILL MAKING TEAMS FINISH THE SEASON WHO DIDN’T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS.

Seriously, CAPS is the only way I can make a statement here. This is so blindingly stupid I cannot even put it into words other than MAKING THEM ALL CAPS. The Vancouver Canucks and Calgary Flames, two teams who haven’t been in any contention whatsoever to snag any playoff spot in the Scotia North division since, I don’t know, mid-March, have two regular season games left. The play tonight and tomorrow. This is going on DURING ROUND 1 OF THE PLAYOFFS.

Does this make any sense? Is it me? Have the NHL brass been playing pond hockey without helmets again?
Traditionally – well hell let’s just throw tradition right out the window into a snowdrift shall we – the playoffs begin when the season ends. Every single major sport does it this way. Why you may ask? So the entire focus is on the playoffs and not wondering how the bottom tier teams are going to do tonight and what impact it has on their draft slot. WHO CARES?! NO ONE!

By the time the season ends for the Flames and Canucks, four of the first-round matchups will be done with Game 2 of their respective series. This is so incomprehensibly stupid I cannot get my head around it SO I JUST HAVE TO USE CAPS.

Sigh. Deep breath. STUPID. Try again,. Sigh. Deep breath. Meditate. Don’t think. Let it go. Frozen. Frozen. Canada. Flames. Canucks. DAMMIT.
I’ll be back.

OK. I’m back. Feeling a bit better. Shook the icicles out of my head. Playoff Matchups – Round 1.

Boston vs Washington – ought to be a real donnybrook, but I’m taking the Caps in 6 and I hate myself for saying it as their enforcer Tom Wilson is a complete piece of shit. He basically turned NY Ranger (and former Blackhawk) Artemi Panarin (nickname The Breadman obviously) into Raggedy Andy well after the whistle after Wilson the Asshole had already taking down Pavel Buchnevich.

that’s Wilson on top of Buchnevich before he flips Panerin like a pancake. Asshole.

New York Islanders vs Pittsburgh – Pittsburgh surprised me. Never thought they’d have enough to make the playoffs (let alone with the MassMutual East) but there they are. And why not – I’ll take the mighty Pens in 7.

Nashville vs Carolina – Nashville has been coming on strong at the end of the season – well THEIR season since as we know it’s still continuing. However, Carolina is too good, so the Hurricanes in 6. Tampa Bay vs Florida – I thought the Tampa Bay Lightning were one of the best teams this year and I still think so. Tampa Bay in 6.

Toronto vs Montreal – personally I think there’s been too much made about The Maple Leafs. However, for Round 1 they get the Canadians who are the worst team to make the playoffs. Maple Leafs in 5.

Edmonton vs Winnipeg – this one ought to be a pretty good matchup and should go 7. I’ll take the Edmonton Oilers to skate past the Jets.

Vegas vs Minnesota – Well it is cold in Minnesota and never in Vegas. That ought to count for something I would think. The Knights had the same amount of points as the Avalanche and Colorado only won the President’s Trophy for best record by virtue of a tiebreaker. Pretty good, eh? Not for me. This is my upset for Round 1. I’m taking the Minnesota Wild in 7.

Colorado vs St. Louis – Colorado is great at all levels and pretty good in the net. That’s what scares me as an Avs fan – slightly-better-than-average between the pipes. However, for Round 1, they should finish off the Blues in 6.

That’s it for Round 1. I’ll be back for Round 2 once everything is settled. By that time, maybe the regular season will be done too. SO INFURIATING!!

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