Weeks ago, due to a FOIA request, the emails (electronic mails) from Dr. Anthony Fauci were shown to the public and people lost their fucking minds. Granted, almost every fucking one of those people were really stupid (to be fair, others were deliberate liars and some were just gullible), but there is no doubt that this became a major news story. Conservatives dubbed it “Fauci-Gate”, because they love putting that suffix on the end of, basically everything. Other, more reasonable people, read the emails with the added benefit of hindsight and realized that everything that was said was, literally, no big deal at all.
However, there is one email that was not released that would shock the world.
And I would know, because I was the recipient of that email.
As a brief history, Dr. Fauci and I have had a friendship which goes back to the early 2000s, when we met at a They Might Be Giants concert at Park West in Chicago. “The Fauc”, as he asked that I call him, is a big fan of They Might Be Giants’ John Henry album, which I have often called the most underrated album of the 1990’s. So, a quick bond was formed.
We quickly established an email correspondence and chatted about many things. I reached out to the doctor in March of 2020 to ask how concerned about the news of COVID-19 spreading in America. Below is his response:
It’s the Fauc here. What’s up?
Glad you got to see They Might Be Giants perform Flood in its entirety. I specifically held back all of the pandemic panic so you and your family would be able to see them. How did people not link the hype to the concert habits of one of my friends? Oh, that’s right! The media is owned by George Soros, the man I get all of my orders (and baby blood from).
Anyways, don’t worry about this COVID Schmovid nonsense. We’re just gonna pretend to kill people in order to ruin the Trump presidency and install whatever puppet leader we want (Soros wants Joe Biden, and I call him a “real Sore-ass” about it; we should all be Feeling The Bern, bay-bee!) You’re fine. You’re just gonna have to wear a mask for the rest of your life, but that’s just because the deep state is beginning their war on goatees and we’ll make sure no one can see them ever again. You can’t tell, but I’m laughing evilly while stroking an albino kitten right now. Damn, I’m so evil.
Anyways, gotta run. My liberal overlords want to make sure I can ruin the economy by April. John Henry forever, man!
Tony Fauci, aka “The Fauc”
My apologies for not releasing this sooner. I hope this will help people see the truth.