That’s a wrap on a weird week 5 of the NFL season that featured Tom Brady forgetting what down it was, the Chiefs going down, Dan Quinn losing his job, a game getting getting postponed after it was already rescheduled, and a Tuesday nighter. Is Tuesday Night Football destined to be the new home of Titans vs. Jags, you bet your ass it is. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. Let’s break down the winners and losers of week 5 of the NFL season.
Continue reading “NFL Winners & Losers: Week 5”Category: Uncategorized
My Funniest Moviegoing Moments
Man, I miss going to the movies.
I lamented earlier this year how I wasn’t comfortable going out to see Tenet, and I still wish I could go every time I see that trailer. But there’s just not a chance that it’s happening for me. Probably not until 2021, and honestly, who fucking knows?
I love the theater. Overpriced concessions. Annoying patrons. Not being able to pause even though I have to pee. That one kid who made fun of me for crying in my 3d glasses during the ending of Toy Story 3. All of those are worth the joy of seeing a movie on the big screen with a crowd.
Continue reading “My Funniest Moviegoing Moments”Guns, Goons, & Gas: A review of Fargo, episodes 1-3
Last month, I said that life was going to get better when Fargo, the best television show to ever have existed, returned with new episodes on September 27th. Five days after the first two episodes aired, our stupid president got stupid COVID, and I don’t believe in coincidence.
Continue reading “Guns, Goons, & Gas: A review of Fargo, episodes 1-3”Fancy Boys Club NFL Power Rankings Week 4
In light of Sunday’s revelation that Donald Trump not only doesn’t pay taxes, but isn’t actually rich, it is worth remembering that it is the NFL’s fault that this governmental hellscape has befallen us. And no, i’m not referring to his fuming about players kneeling.
In 2014, Donald Trump wanted to purchase the Buffalo Bills. He wasn’t allowed to buy the team. Anyone care to guess why? You all know how Trump has gone to incredible lengths to hide his tax returns? He wasn’t so lucky when it came to the NFL. He wasn’t allowed to hide his tax returns to the NFL because they would have just told him to fuck off and sell the team to someone else. Then the NFL saw Trump’s tax returns and told Trump to fuck off and sold the team to someone else.
Continue reading “Fancy Boys Club NFL Power Rankings Week 4”You Need To Vote, You Stupid Idiots
This November, we’re facing an election that has serious consequences. Some of the more extreme ding dongs are calling it the most important election in America’s history, and I’m tempted to agree with them but only with a caveat.
Continue reading “You Need To Vote, You Stupid Idiots”NFL WINNERS & LOSERS WEEK 2
Week 2 of the NFL season is now over. The only thing hotter than Matt Patricia’s hot seat is ESPN’s burning desire for the Cowboys after the Falcons proved that there’s no such thing as a once in a generation comeback loss. Russell Wilson looks like the early MVP frontrunner and everyone else got hurt. What a fun week! Let’s break down the winners and losers from week 2 of the NFL season.
Continue reading “NFL WINNERS & LOSERS WEEK 2”The Next 50 Stars: My Plan To Get America To 100 States
One of the most ridiculous stories to come from President Trump’s first term was when he tried to purchase Greenland, presumably to make it another state (or, at the very least, another U.S. territory). It was met with general scoffing and mockery from both political sides (save for the Donald’s most ardent bootlickers) and seen by many as a petulant child getting upset that he couldn’t buy anything he wanted. I remember finding the idea ridiculous back in 2019. But now, I’m not so sure.
Now, I kind of think it’s fucking dope.
But why stop there?
Continue reading “The Next 50 Stars: My Plan To Get America To 100 States”Ruth Bader Ginsburg (1933-2020)
Fuck.
Fucking fuck goddamn it fucking fuck it all to goddamn fucking hell.
We don’t know.
We’re just really sad.
We’ve Never Needed The NBA More
There’s a truth about sports that is hard to understand, but I barely completed what people would call “some college”, so I figure I’ll take a shot at it.
When it comes to all sports, games do not matter. Not really.
Continue reading “We’ve Never Needed The NBA More”Countdown To Hope And Joy And Also Chris Rock
2020-09-27T21:00:00
days
hours minutes seconds
until
The world gets better
There is no way to understate this: Life, as we know it, is going to get better in a few weeks.
Continue reading “Countdown To Hope And Joy And Also Chris Rock”
