Is This The End of Corporate Dick Waving?

Is This The End of Corporate Dick Waving?

Every year, it happens. An inevitability like the sun rising, taxes being paid, and Rudy Giuliani being a public embarrassment. Besides Patrick Mahomes, the McRib, and horrible country music, it could be what America has come to be known for over the past few decades. It shows up in your email. It shows up in your mailbox. It shows up in targeted marketing ads while you are trying to watch tables get made on Facebook.

I’m of course referring to Black Friday. Every year, the spectre of saving a few dollars on a big screen tv and a chainsaw you don’t need (but what if you might, someday???) leads friends and family members to throw ‘bows with strangers in a Target parking lot, because their beloved CBS sitcoms are just so much more enjoyable on a 58 inch television screen that a 51 inch (oh that Sheldon Cooper, amiright?). It is what causes us to shred any sense of decency with the ferocity of Hulk Hogan tearing off his shirt in the eighties, just for the sake of getting 15 dollars extra off some Rachel Ray cookware that is inevitably going to bow and warp the moment you boil water in it. THOSE PANS ARE JUST FOR LOOKS, KAREN! YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO COOK IN THEM!

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The Greatest YouTube Clip Of All Time

The Greatest YouTube Clip Of All Time

Look, let’s just lay all of our cards out on the table: the world kinda fucking sucks right now.

In two weeks, the United States will have an election where, whoever wins, half of the country will think that the worst thing in the world is happening. We’re under restrictions as COVID has taken over a million lives worldwide. At any given point, any part of the world could be on fire. There are riots and protests and, also, Hulu didn’t renew High Fidelity for a second season and I was kind of getting into that show.

And we haven’t even talked about the internet.

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Fancy Boys Stay Home With The Movies: Aaron Sorkin MEGA-EDITION!

Fancy Boys Stay Home With The Movies: Aaron Sorkin MEGA-EDITION!

Even with theaters re-opening, there are still many options on where to stream movies at home. I caught up with the new works from Aaron Sorkin.

For a dude with an Oscar, a couple of Golden Globes, a pair of WGA awards, and five Emmys to his name, Aaron Sorkin is a polarizing figure. For those who enjoy his work (like myself), he’s one of the more interesting writers working today, excelling at snappy dialogue and the ability to wrap scenes together seemlessly. For those who do not enjoy his work (like FBC co-producer Jack Baker), his works are pretentious slogs and have done more to damage American government that McCarthyism and lobbyists combined.

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NFL Winners & Losers: Week 5

That’s a wrap on a weird week 5 of the NFL season that featured Tom Brady forgetting what down it was, the Chiefs going down, Dan Quinn losing his job, a game getting getting postponed after it was already rescheduled, and a Tuesday nighter. Is Tuesday Night Football destined to be the new home of Titans vs. Jags, you bet your ass it is. But let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. Let’s break down the winners and losers of week 5 of the NFL season.

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My Funniest Moviegoing Moments

My Funniest Moviegoing Moments

Man, I miss going to the movies.

I lamented earlier this year how I wasn’t comfortable going out to see Tenet, and I still wish I could go every time I see that trailer. But there’s just not a chance that it’s happening for me. Probably not until 2021, and honestly, who fucking knows?

I love the theater. Overpriced concessions. Annoying patrons. Not being able to pause even though I have to pee. That one kid who made fun of me for crying in my 3d glasses during the ending of Toy Story 3. All of those are worth the joy of seeing a movie on the big screen with a crowd.

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Guns, Goons, & Gas: A review of Fargo, episodes 1-3

Guns, Goons, & Gas: A review of Fargo, episodes 1-3

Last month, I said that life was going to get better when Fargo, the best television show to ever have existed, returned with new episodes on September 27th. Five days after the first two episodes aired, our stupid president got stupid COVID, and I don’t believe in coincidence.

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Fancy Boys Club NFL Power Rankings Week 4

In light of Sunday’s revelation that Donald Trump not only doesn’t pay taxes, but isn’t actually rich, it is worth remembering that it is the NFL’s fault that this governmental hellscape has befallen us. And no, i’m not referring to his fuming about players kneeling.

In 2014, Donald Trump wanted to purchase the Buffalo Bills. He wasn’t allowed to buy the team. Anyone care to guess why? You all know how Trump has gone to incredible lengths to hide his tax returns? He wasn’t so lucky when it came to the NFL. He wasn’t allowed to hide his tax returns to the NFL because they would have just told him to fuck off and sell the team to someone else. Then the NFL saw Trump’s tax returns and told Trump to fuck off and sold the team to someone else.

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