Grappling with the most popular song of 2023 in 16 listens

Grappling with the most popular song of 2023 in 16 listens

It is rare that something that is culturally dominant somehow slips by me. However, apparently this was the summer of Morgan Wallen’s “Last Night”, and I didn’t even know. I’ve never even heard the song. I’m clearly in the minority.

Six days ago, “Last Night” was the #1 song on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the sixteenth week in a row. In doing so, it set the record for the longest running song at #1 for a non-collaboration in the 65-year history of the chart. If Wallen’s song can keep it’s streak going for number one, it will set the record for the longest time on top of this chart for all songs. And since the Hot 100 measures streaming, sales, and radio plays, to have this record would make the country tune, in my opinion, the most popular song of all time.

I would like to point out again that I have never heard this song. But that is about to change.

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Elon Musk and his BDE (Big Divorce Energy)

Elon Musk and his BDE (Big Divorce Energy)

I’m not sure Elon Musk has had a good week since he bought Twitter, but this last seven days has been especially bad for him.

With sites like Bluesky and Mastodon off and running as well as what feels like Musk’s own sabotage, Twitter is no longer the cool social media app to be on. The platform, at its height, represented everything the internet could be: a great community filled with laugh and smart ideas and fun. Musk has gotten rid of those and added more nazis and things he wants you to pay for.

Then, with Threads (Mark Zuckerberg’s foray into mini-blogs) revealed a week ago, Musk watched as his site’s numbers cratered while users signed up in droves for what was called the Fediverse, which is sadly not a social media site all about Kevin Federline. Elon handled this in a manner that could only be called “predictable to Elon”, calling the Zuck a cuck and then returning to Twitter 8 hours later to challenge him to have their penises measured.

Look, I should dislike Musk. And I do. That turd bought a thing I liked and turned it into something I like dramatically less. But there’s also another feeling I cannot help but have when I look at his behavior. And that’s pity.

Because right now, Elon Musk has BDE. Big Divorce Energy.

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Fancy Boys Go To The Movies: Fast X

Fancy Boys Go To The Movies: Fast X

(Author’s note: Per usual, I have kept to my principal of having this review be as spoiler-free as possible. For the most part, if it isn’t in the trailer, I won’t talk about any specifics in the review.)

With the 11th film in The Fast & Furious franchise (ten stand-alone films plus Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw), it would be easy for director Louis Leterrier’s debut in this series to be very paint by numbers. All he would have to do is let Vin Diesel be the ultimate driving and fighting machine (and family man) that he is and let the other supporting players support him. But Leterrier, replacing Justin Lin (who left the film citing creative differences) shows us that he has a few tricks up his sleeve. His Fast X features four Oscar-winning actors, a ton of new characters (for better or worse), and the most fun and exciting new addition that Fast & Furious have given us since their best film (more on that later).

But perhaps the most impressive thing Leterrier has done was to realize that the last film, F9, was severely flawed. And you can see him making the effort in Fast X to fix those problems. Which is not to say that this film doesn’t have issues: it’s bloated (while, somehow, not giving most characters enough to do), too absurd, and has some moments that are laughable, and not in a good way.

It’s also a whole ton of fucking fun.

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Where will Tucker Carlson wind up next?

Where will Tucker Carlson wind up next?

If your super-transphobic family member who seems to only post stupid memes on social media seems a little sad today, I think I know why: their hero no longer has a platform. There is no reason to state this other than with the most blunt of terms: today, Fox News has fired Tucker Carlson.

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Why Are Love Is Blind And Other Netflix Shows Using Those Stupid, Metallic Glasses? (An Expose)

Why Are Love Is Blind And Other Netflix Shows Using Those Stupid, Metallic Glasses? (An Expose)

In 2020, Netflix expanded quite a bit on its reality/unscripted/competition TV original series, with the first hit series The Circle–a social media competition featuring people trapped in apartments talking to each other on a fake social media platform. Very quickly, the streaming giant then pumped out Love is Blind and Too Hot to Handle, two relationship shows that could not be more different from each other. During this time, it was the COVID-19 pandemic, so we were all stuck in doors and glued to whatever was on TV. And I sat down and watched it all. Then, one day, I realized something about Love is Blind: the stars of these shows aren’t the people, they’re the weird metallic glasses everyone drinks from.

Please, stay with me. We’re about to go on a journey together revolving around reality TV drinkware. Yes, I’m aware this is bizarre.

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Fancy Boys Club March Music Madness 2023

Fancy Boys Club March Music Madness 2023

The idea started, as all great ideas do, while listening to Saliva.

I was driving down an Arizona highway about a couple weeks ago when Click, Click, Boom by Saliva came on a local radio station. My wife, horrified by the song, told me to turn it off. I said I couldn’t turn it off, because the truth is, I goddamn love Saliva. Or, at least, I did love Saliva. It is one of those bands that everyone has in their life. You forget they exist. Then you randomly hear their song and it takes you back to a time in your life that the song was a soundtrack for.

We then got to talking about the most transformative times in our lives for music. The music that left an indelible mark on us. What was the era that helped form our musical taste, social standing, and style? As we sit in our mid 30’s, closer to the grave than we care to see fit, we look back more wistfully on the times when life didn’t feel like it was crushing us into sand. When the possibilities of the future were endless, and not filled with veterinarian bills and increasingly hostile emails from Blue Apron in your inbox.

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For heavens sake, you don’t have to play the fucking wizard game!

For heavens sake, you don’t have to play the fucking wizard game!

Hogwarts Legacy, one of the most anticipated video game releases of the year, came out a few days ago. The game, in which a player controls a child wizard at the school of magic made popular by the Harry Potter book and film series, is bound to sell a whole lot of units, though I won’t be one of them. For starters, I don’t own a video game console unless you include my phone, of which there are several games I often pass time with. Also, I think there have only been a few great video games, and the last one may have been Halo. There is no better video game, to me, than Burger Time. That being said, I understand that this boy wizard franchise, created by J.K. Rowling, meant a whole heck of a lot to a whole bunch of people and that sentimentality is going to be huge for sales.

Even if it means that people are supporting something that’s really gross.

Yeah… it’s one of these pieces.

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Can You Call It A Bed & Breakfast If There Isn’t A BDSM Dungeon?

Can You Call It A Bed & Breakfast If There Isn’t A BDSM Dungeon?

For the past three years, my wife, Moon Daisy, and I have spent our time traveling in a dilapidated seafoam green 1971 Volkswagen Bus. The interior was a faded checkerboarded material that looked like cloth but felt like a damp sponge that sat in a dirty sink over the weekend. The van smelled of sex, caviar, and Drakkar Noir’s most nefarious scent, “Voyeur Connoisseur.” Throughout my years as a prolific mountain climber, award-winning hiker, and tantric sex thought leader, I have had many luxuries. I’ve dined in the finest restaurants in Hanoi. Slept on 1,000 count Egyptian sheets in Sudan. I’ve celebrated the new year with world leaders and billionaires in Club 33 in Disneyland. But one experience that separates “me” from “you” is trying to make ends meet and traveling throughout America in a piece of shit automobile for “fun.”

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