A Royal Mess

If you live a life of ignorance that can only be described as blissful, you might have missed the announcement. If you, like myself and millions of others who, like two trees growing into eachother over time cause the trees to become one, have your phone semi-permanently attached to your hand so that you can be hyper aware of the latest things happening in pop culture, have surely heard the news last week that Prince Harry and his wife Megan Markle have decided to split away from the Royal Family of England to create a life for themselves.

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Lillie’s Q Brings Down Southern Fare Like a Confederate Monument

Lillie’s Q Brings Down Southern Fare Like a Confederate Monument

Lillie’s Q is a sore. A nuisance. A poem that rhymes “cigarette” with “regret.” It’s a friend that invites you to a party you don’t know anyone but never shows up, so you spend the whole time in the corner, playing with the settings on your phone, pretending to text. Most of all, it is a restaurant in Chicago – the existence of which disparages the entire history of barbecue. 

As we all know, the first mention of ribs in recorded history comes from the book of Genesis, when God removed one of Adam’s ribs to create Eve and stop Adam from posting on incel web forums. Since then, ribs have been used in everything from Marilyn Manson’s felatic self-adventures to “her pleasure” condoms, but they have most prominently marked their territory as a staple of Southern cuisine. 

If ribs found their start in Eden, Lillie’s Q has burnt them over the fire and brimstone of Sodom. Continue reading “Lillie’s Q Brings Down Southern Fare Like a Confederate Monument”

1969, Amazing Music, and Satan: The Best Films Of 2019

1969, Amazing Music, and Satan: The Best Films Of 2019

(AUTHOR/EDITOR NOTE: This is my personal list of my favorite movies in 2019. Expect an official FBC list in January.)

2019 was a great year in film. But also a weird year. For starters, it’s weird how great this year was.

Let me explain.

This year saw a lot of amazing films made by a lot of amazing filmmakers. Some of the best directors making movies today came to the plate swinging hard. Hell, Martin Scorcese made two films this year, both for Netflix. But none of them made their best film, and it seems like because of this, this year would seem like the ultimate runner-up in movie years.

And yet, this isn’t the case. In fact, this may be the best year of film in the 2010’s. It was filled with rich stories and amazing characters and bold filmmakers willing to take chances to sometimes ask the hard questions and sometimes just take us to places we wish we could be.

I saw 70 films this year, but by no means is this list complete. I still need to catch up with Uncut Gems and Ad Astra and The Lighthouse and a bunch of other films which I have been assured that I would love by people whom I respect. I hope to catch up with them before the official FBC list is made. However, at some point, you just have to stop watching movies and your list is your list.

So, with that being said, here’s mine.

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Celebrating The Holidays #withmydick

Every Christmas Eve, I do something that delights my friends and annoys my wife. But it’s a tradition, and traditions are important as the holidays roll around.

Starting from the moment I wake up, I will be part of a group attempting to get #withmydick trending on Twitter. And I’m doing so because eight years ago, this silly hashtag saved my Christmas.

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The Best Television Episodes Of 2019

The Best Television Episodes Of 2019

As the decade nears it end, it is quite possible that we have seen the best ten year stretch of small screen content that the medium has ever produced. And 2019 has been a perfect encapsulation of that.

This has been a year where we’ve said goodbye to old friends, assuming your friends were dragons, hackers, and nerds of both network and cable variety. We’ve also said hello to vigilantes, fairies, and more nerds.

Good shows became great and great show became, somehow, even greater. There is so much good programming, it’s difficult to believe that anyone would want to leave their house.

And then there’s Lil’ Yoda.

I’ve watched more television than I’m comfortable admitting. I feel like at any moment, the multitude of subscription services I use will send people to my door to ask if I have some sort of problem.

Here is the best and brightest that television gave us this last year.

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The (Cultural) Tribe Has Spoken

The (Cultural) Tribe Has Spoken

I think most people watch most television (and, by this, I mean entertainment television- basically everything that isn’t the news) for two reasons: to escape the world and to experience the world. Some people are sick and tired of seeing the world devour itself and need a break, so they turn on their small screen in the hopes of being drifted away, if only for a short time, from the problems of the modern world. Others, however, look at television as a reflection of society, and look to it to show us who we are and see what that tells us about ourselves.

In speaking about television as terms of contrast and reflection, Survivor had almost always landed in the former category. However, this season, the show has taken a sharp turn into the latter, and in doing so, has become one of the most interesting shows on television this year.

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You Got A Lot of Cranium Accessories…Comedy Central at 30

Everyone has a jumping off point. It could have been Dr. Katz. Maybe it was a rerun of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Perhaps it was the Mitch Hedberg or Lewis Black comedy specials. Hell, for people of a certain age, their first experience was South Park and Crank Yankers. No matter how you discovered it, Comedy Central has acted as a comedy gateway for multiple generations of people.

Last week, Comedy Central celebrated it’s 30th birthday. Seen today as a cable stalwart, it’s beginnings were much more humble, but no less important. Started as the Comedy Channel, an HBO vertical dedicated exclusively to comedy, it would air comedy programming exclusively, with it’s programming backbone being HBO comedy specials, which were, at the time, considered to be the highest honor bestowed upon a comic. At various points during it’s early days, it gave television spots to Jon Stewart and Marc Maron, and played host to off kilter and niche sketch comedy and standup.

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