Before we get into taking a look at what happened Saturday for game 1, let’s just have an introduction – call it a post-first game introduction – to these Houston Roughnecks. Starting with the logo – a logo looking suspiciously like the old Houston Oilers logo so my assumption is the same “designer” who created this also created Trump’s Space Force logo… or is that Space Farce, I forget. Let’s start with…
When the smoke had cleared and the dust had settled on the 92nd Academy Awards Sunday night, it was Bong Joon-Ho’s Parasite dominating the field. Yes, it won Best International Feature. That was expected. What was less expected however, were the other three awards it claimed: Best Original Screenplay, Best Director, and Best Picture.
As Bong went up to accept his screenwriting Oscar, I turned to my wife and said, “This could be a huge night for Parasite.” I didn’t realize that I was making one of the more dramatic understatements in the history of me watching the Oscars, which goes back to when I was a child.
Even though Parasite‘s four wins destroyed my chances of winning the Oscar pool I was in AND possibly ruined my credibility as a prognosticator (I went 18-for-24), I cannot help but be ecstatic for Bong. Because not only was Parasite the first foreign-language film to win Best Picture, but for the first time this century (and maybe longer), the winner of Best Picture wasn’t just the best movie nominated, it was the best film that came out all year.
And we haven’t even gotten to Eminem yet.
Continue reading “FBC OSCAR COVERAGE, PART X: The Night That Was Parasite”
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, in a cave or have been lost in the jungle and away from all forms of media (in which case I envy you so), you know the Iowa Caucuses were held last week. What should’ve been the first step toward thinning the literal herd (gaggle?) of Democrats running for POTUS against a common orange enemy turned into what political experts typically call, “a total fucking shitshow”. This doorknob hump of a voting event is a prime example of how American elections are flawed to such an extent that we’ve come to exist in a Twilight Zone-esque hellscape, held hostage by a super dumb minority. So what’s wrong and how can we fix it?I’m glad you asked! Let’s walk through this together!
Continue reading “The Iowa Caucus: A Profile in American Dumbassery”Hey kids, as you may well know – or not depending upon your life I guess – Super Bowl LIV is this Sunday. Who’s playing? It’s the Chiefs and the 49ers, but really who cares? This isn’t about who wins, but who makes money.
No, I’m not going to go on and on about which square to pick on the party or office grid to win sweet cash each quarter that eventually gets claimed victory by Francine the receptionist who generally hopes the team whose quarterback has the better-looking ass wins.
However, ladies and gents, that winner could be you using a different form of betting. And if you have the propensity to gamble your life away, why not do it watching a game rather than sitting at a roulette table quietly praying to your desired Lord to make that ball hit 22 Black? WARNING: No bet is a surefire thing (they are about as surefire a thing as a long-lasting marriage), but there are some Super Bowl bets you may want to make to try and expand your pocketbook.
How does one make some coin you may ask? With a proposition bet. A proposition bet, short form prop bet, is one where a person such as yourself puts some money down on an occurrence… or non-occurrence… happening during any game, but especially the Super Bowl.
There are more than 400 prop bets you can make. Heck no I am not going to go over all of them, but let’s check out a few that aren’t the typical “Will so-and-so score a touchdown in the first half” kind of prop bets.
Continue reading “I give you Props: Proposition bets for LIV”
The 62nd Annual Grammy Awards take place tonight in California and will be aired on CBS. They start at 5:00 PM PST and should end sometime around April.
The Grammys are long. You know how people bitch about how the Oscars are long? AMPAS ain’t got nothing on The Recording Academy, baby! They’re so long. Too long.
And I’m gonna watch it… well, most of it. Until I fall asleep.
Here’s what you need to know about music’s biggest night.
Continue reading “A Quick Look At The 2020 Grammys…”So last week I was in Tampa on a work trip. Not that I didn’t have access to any news or sports or news on sports, most of Florida does – even if a lot of Florida can’t access anything but Fox News judging by the billboards in Tampa – I did. I was tired.
But Wednesday I was in the hotel lobby waiting for my work comrades when one of them came up to me and said the Astros had fired their manager and general manager. Whoa… and whoa. In my best Montreal Expos accent I said ‘pourquoi?’
Cheating.
And…
Cheating. Spying. Stealing signs.
And…
Rob Manfred is having none of it.
Now Rob is the baseball commissioner, so he has the right to do what he thinks is best for baseball. He’s drawing a hard line – there will be no cheating in baseball. What you may ask? What? Of course, there should be no cheating in baseball, right?
January’s come in with a select amount of subtlety, but in the MLB it’s been quite the wild whirling dervish of deals and free agent signings. Before I get to what individual team got and still needs, let’s take a trip around the horn and see where the big names landed like a big lake trout on a dish. Trout sounds so good right now.
Garret Cole. OK. Fine. I was wrong. Are you happy I admitted it? I thought for certain he was going to be an Angel, but neigh he decided to become a devil, AKA a Yankee. Curse you Cole!
Stephen Strasburg. I was correct, stuck with the Nationals. Bite me.
Anthony Rendon. The biggest stick in the free agent class went to the Angels. Now he’s paired with Mike Trout (which still sounds good BTW). Good golly that’ll be fun to watch!
Madison Bumgarner – I’m as giddy he didn’t go to the Twins as I am mad he went to the Diamondbacks. C’mon MadBum! Why those desert bums? Why?!
Hyu-Jin Ryu – Left baseball to start a Korean BBQ franchise called Ryu’s Ribs. OK. Fine. He signed with the Blue Jays. Canadians love Koreans, primarily due to the alliteration.
Didi Gregorius – And I was right. He went to the Phillies to re-join Joe Girardi… and to get a cheese steak.
Corey Kluber – once the ace of the Indians staff, he was traded to the Rangers for a sack of beads.
Eric Thames – not quite a huge deal as he signed a 1-year contract with the Nationals, but what’s significant is he is yet another player who doesn’t want to play for the Brew Crew… or he got tired of all that Usinger’s Sausage.
Tommy Pham – good news is the Tampa Rays traded him from a fan base whose median age is 80 to San Diego whose fan base is a youthful 77. Bad news? You have to be a Brown Shirt now, dude.
Rick Porcello – signed with the Mets. All of Boston breathed a huge sigh of relief, and ordered a pie.
Dallas Kuechel – former CY Young award winner who sat out most of last year signed with the White Sox. Fingers crossed he enjoys Sox Park, and deep dish pizza.
And who has yet to find a team?
Continue reading “The MLB’s Hot Stove League – The January Report”
Baseball was the last pure game. Unchanged by time. Still played by nine men under the summer sun, fans in the stands, burying their real lives in sport and beer. Children played the game on the streets until the street lights illumination dictated the universal calling card to come home for dinner. Yea, this is a long ago ideal that has had its nostalgia sugar coated to a diabetes induced level. The fact is, baseball has always harbored cheating for the sake of victory above all else. Ty Cobb, one of the greatest players ever, sharpened his spikes so he could injure opposing players who made the mistake of being near him when he slid. Hank Aaron and Willie Mays admitted to using “greenies” for energy. “Greenies” were actually a version of methamphetamine. Steroids became chic in the late 90’s revival of the game.
Continue reading “The Astros Fought the Law and the Law Won”TV has quite the broad spectrum these days. If I were an actual TV critic, imagine the amount of tax deductions I’d have subscribing to everything from Amazon Prime to Zee TV. Frankly I didn’t even know Zee TV existed and I’m pretty sure it exists primarily for me to have a complete A to Z joke.
Allow me to take you through a ‘best of’ similar to watching 3+ hours of god-awful backslapping known as the Emmys without actually having to watch the Emmys. Did you know there are nearly 100 Emmy categories? Holy crap these people love to congratulate one another. Relax. I’m only hitting the highlights I want to hit. Let’s start with a couple you won’t see given out while you’d eat your gourmet popcorn and watch:
Outstanding Cinematography
Oklahoma is Oklahoma, so Watchmen, you’re out. I’m throwing Chernobyl a radioactive bone here because it’s got to win something, right? Can’t understand why all the Russkis had British accents, but the dreariness of a nuclear disaster was just how I imagined it would be, along with the patently dull British clothing, so it wins for Outstanding Period Costumes too (yes, that’s a category).
Every Christmas Eve, I do something that delights my friends and annoys my wife. But it’s a tradition, and traditions are important as the holidays roll around.
Starting from the moment I wake up, I will be part of a group attempting to get #withmydick trending on Twitter. And I’m doing so because eight years ago, this silly hashtag saved my Christmas.
Continue reading “Celebrating The Holidays #withmydick”
Fancy Boys Club 