Unless you’ve been living under a rock, in a cave or have been lost in the jungle and away from all forms of media (in which case I envy you so), you know the Iowa Caucuses were held last week. What should’ve been the first step toward thinning the literal herd (gaggle?) of Democrats running for POTUS against a common orange enemy turned into what political experts typically call, “a total fucking shitshow”. This doorknob hump of a voting event is a prime example of how American elections are flawed to such an extent that we’ve come to exist in a Twilight Zone-esque hellscape, held hostage by a super dumb minority. So what’s wrong and how can we fix it?I’m glad you asked! Let’s walk through this together!Continue reading “The Iowa Caucus: A Profile in American Dumbassery”
A couple weeks ago, I decided mid-flight to fight off a turbulence-induced panic attack by watching a movie (in addition to my usual booze-prayer combo). You know, anything to take my mind off the fact that I’m sitting next to the dude who decided, “Shoes are for suckers!” while hurtling through the sky in a metal tube.Continue reading “Hey Aladdin, get a job.”
Every station I flip through airs footage of the AmazonRainforest on fire. Animals running for shelter, environmentalists shoutingthat this is one resource we cannot afford to lose.
‘The fools,’ I think to myself, as I set my cell phone downand spin in my desk chair. I look out the window before placing my hand on itlongingly, because I’m totally sad right now.
Fancy Boy Kate Peterson teaches you how to succeed (kinda) in life without really (kinda) trying.Continue reading “10 Incredible Life Hacks for Millennials”