Fancy Boys Football Mailbag Week 9

Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.

Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.

So, we’re halfway done with the NFL season. What are your biggest surprises? Who is better than you thought? Who is worse?

Brandon – I kind of thought the 49ers could be okay. I didn’t peg them as the last undefeated team in the league, though. Actually, I was just wrong about the whole NFC West. I thought the Rams were gonna cake walk through the division. Instead it has been the best division in football.

The Jets are an absolute joke this year. I should have known better because Adam Gase is such a garbage football coach, but I genuinely thought they were too talented to be this bad and unwatchable.

Jack – I really thought the Bears would be better than this. I even predicted them to make it to the Super Bowl. I was so very very very wrong on them.

I never once thought about the 49ers before the start of the season, so they almost have to win by default, the two sweetest words in the English language. I didn’t the Saints would be any good without Brees, but their defense is for real and Sean Payton is still one of the best coaches in the NFL. The Raiders have also been a much more competent football team than I would have imagined after Hard Knocks.

I agree that the Jets are a dumpster fire, but the most shocking bad team to me is the Falcons. They almost won the Super Bowl not too long ago, and still have a bunch of good players. But they’re really bad and could be bad for a long time if you look at their cap situation.

Bears Twitter went nuts because the team chose to stay with Trubisky and didn’t make a trade for a new quarterback. But, would it have mattered? Is this Bears team a Drew Brees away from being a playoff team?

Brandon – The big issue is that, even if you trade for a QB, would he have been ready to start this weekend? I do believe that a 4th round pick could have netted them Andy Dalton. Dalton has zero dead money on his contract after this year. He isn’t great, but going into Sunday, he had the most pass completions in the NFL. He rarely makes the big mistakes that cost teams games. It might be a lost season, but he could have helped.

Jack – Trubisky is terrible, but he’s not the only problem. The Bears gained 1 yard in the first half against the Eagles. 1 fucking yard. The Bears are a long ways away from being a playoff team and Drew Brees could only do so much to get them there. They would certainly be better with a new QB who knew how to read a defense or make a decision, but their problems are also much bigger than that. They don’t do anything well on offense.

Why don’t all NFL teams have marching bands? What is stopping a team from paying a hundred people to play some horns and drums eight weeks a year, making the games much more fun to attend?

Brandon – I thought we were here to talk about West Wing? Marching Band effectiveness works in an inverse pattern to fan drunkenness. The drunker people are, the more hostile they are towards marching bands.

Jack – Because marching bands are dumb.

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