Comedy – Page 10 – Fancy Boys Club

What is going on with you MLB?

January 21, 2020January 21, 2020by copperwriteLeave a Comment

So last week I was in Tampa on a work trip. Not that I didn’t have access to any news or sports or news on sports, most of Florida does – even if a lot of Florida can’t access anything but Fox News judging by the billboards in Tampa – I did. I was tired.

But Wednesday I was in the hotel lobby waiting for my work comrades when one of them came up to me and said the Astros had fired their manager and general manager. Whoa… and whoa. In my best Montreal Expos accent I said ‘pourquoi?’

Cheating.

And…

Cheating. Spying. Stealing signs.

And…

Rob Manfred is having none of it.

Now Rob is the baseball commissioner, so he has the right to do what he thinks is best for baseball. He’s drawing a hard line – there will be no cheating in baseball. What you may ask? What? Of course, there should be no cheating in baseball, right?

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Comedy, Misc.

The Angry Old White Man’s Guide to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2020

January 15, 2020March 23, 2020by Brandon Andreasen1 Comment

Hey Fuckers! It’s me, an angry white guy. I like to let the world know at all times what i’m mad about. I’m the reason you hate going on Facebook. My 18 Twitter followers know at all times what i’m pissed off about. The world is changing and i’m not emotionally equipped to handle it! You know what was great? 1988. It should stay 1988 forever. Man, 1988 rocked.

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Comedy, Pop Culture

A Royal Mess

January 14, 2020January 14, 2020by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

If you live a life of ignorance that can only be described as blissful, you might have missed the announcement. If you, like myself and millions of others who, like two trees growing into eachother over time cause the trees to become one, have your phone semi-permanently attached to your hand so that you can be hyper aware of the latest things happening in pop culture, have surely heard the news last week that Prince Harry and his wife Megan Markle have decided to split away from the Royal Family of England to create a life for themselves.

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Comedy, Uncategorized

My Best TV of 2019

January 13, 2020January 13, 2020by copperwriteLeave a Comment

TV has quite the broad spectrum these days. If I were an actual TV critic, imagine the amount of tax deductions I’d have subscribing to everything from Amazon Prime to Zee TV. Frankly I didn’t even know Zee TV existed and I’m pretty sure it exists primarily for me to have a complete A to Z joke.

Allow me to take you through a ‘best of’ similar to watching 3+ hours of god-awful backslapping known as the Emmys without actually having to watch the Emmys. Did you know there are nearly 100 Emmy categories? Holy crap these people love to congratulate one another. Relax. I’m only hitting the highlights I want to hit. Let’s start with a couple you won’t see given out while you’d eat your gourmet popcorn and watch:

Outstanding Cinematography

Oklahoma is Oklahoma, so Watchmen, you’re out. I’m throwing Chernobyl a radioactive bone here because it’s got to win something, right? Can’t understand why all the Russkis had British accents, but the dreariness of a nuclear disaster was just how I imagined it would be, along with the patently dull British clothing, so it wins for Outstanding Period Costumes too (yes, that’s a category).

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Comedy, Sports

NHL at 50% Report

January 4, 2020January 6, 2020by copperwriteLeave a Comment

Hello hockey fans! We’re now sitting – more for some teams, less for others – at the halfway point of the season as the Avalanche, my yard marker team, has just played their 41^st game. They beat the pants off the Western Conference-leading St. Louis Blues, BTW. A 7-3 iceberg crasher.

I’ll try to build upon the Tirty Tree and a Tird Percentage report and see where how our playoff teams would be set up if we were to end the season right now.

Eastern Conference

OK, let’s toss a wrench in this. Before we actually look at current playoff teams, let’s cut out the ones that – unless there’s a huge ice floe having never occurred before in this league – have no chance of making the playoffs. Buh-bye any teams under 40 points for the season: Ottawa, New Jersey and the team that, if there were such a thing as being bumped into a lesser league ought to be – the Detroit Red Wings. Good Lord of the two-line pass they are awful. Normally a team stands a chance of making the playoffs if they can get to 90 points. At the 50% mark, the Dead Wings are at 23 points. Historically awful.

On to the playoff-making teams. Last time we checked in, the Eastern Conference playoff teams at the third mark stood at: Washington Capitals, Boston Bruins, New York Islanders, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Carolina Hurricanes, Florida Panthers and the Buffalo Sabres.

Well, hockey fans, let me tell you, at the halfway point the Easter Conference leaders are:

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Advice, Comedy, Misc., Pop Culture

Lillie’s Q Brings Down Southern Fare Like a Confederate Monument

January 2, 2020December 31, 2019by Alec SteinLeave a Comment

Lillie’s Q is a sore. A nuisance. A poem that rhymes “cigarette” with “regret.” It’s a friend that invites you to a party you don’t know anyone but never shows up, so you spend the whole time in the corner, playing with the settings on your phone, pretending to text. Most of all, it is a restaurant in Chicago – the existence of which disparages the entire history of barbecue.

As we all know, the first mention of ribs in recorded history comes from the book of Genesis, when God removed one of Adam’s ribs to create Eve and stop Adam from posting on incel web forums. Since then, ribs have been used in everything from Marilyn Manson’s felatic self-adventures to “her pleasure” condoms, but they have most prominently marked their territory as a staple of Southern cuisine.

If ribs found their start in Eden, Lillie’s Q has burnt them over the fire and brimstone of Sodom. Continue reading “Lillie’s Q Brings Down Southern Fare Like a Confederate Monument” →

Comedy, Sports

NHL: The Tirty-Tree & a Tird report

December 9, 2019December 9, 2019by copperwriteLeave a Comment

A full third of the way through the 2019-2020 season. I waited as patiently as a Zamboni smoothing ice for the Colorado Avalanche to get to game 27 of the season. Yes, technically game 27 is 32.9 percent of the season, but game 28 leaves you at 34.1 percent so as that mediocre politician and awful (I assume) hockey player Mick Mulvaney stated, ‘deal with it.’

Plus, a lot of the other teams have reached game 28. The Red Wings have reached game 30, a blessing for them to get this season as far in their past as possible as fast as they can. Good St. Joseph the Crosschecker they are awful.

I’ll try to build upon the 20 percent report and see where how our playoff teams would be set up if we were to end the season right now. Continue reading “NHL: The Tirty-Tree & a Tird report” →

Comedy, Pop Culture

You Got A Lot of Cranium Accessories…Comedy Central at 30

November 21, 2019November 21, 2019by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Everyone has a jumping off point. It could have been Dr. Katz. Maybe it was a rerun of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Perhaps it was the Mitch Hedberg or Lewis Black comedy specials. Hell, for people of a certain age, their first experience was South Park and Crank Yankers. No matter how you discovered it, Comedy Central has acted as a comedy gateway for multiple generations of people.

Last week, Comedy Central celebrated it’s 30^th birthday. Seen today as a cable stalwart, it’s beginnings were much more humble, but no less important. Started as the Comedy Channel, an HBO vertical dedicated exclusively to comedy, it would air comedy programming exclusively, with it’s programming backbone being HBO comedy specials, which were, at the time, considered to be the highest honor bestowed upon a comic. At various points during it’s early days, it gave television spots to Jon Stewart and Marc Maron, and played host to off kilter and niche sketch comedy and standup.

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Advice, Comedy, Sports

Brandon’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays: Colin Kaepernick

November 20, 2019November 25, 2019by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Welcome to the holidays! Is there anything better than spending time with friends and family, good food, good times, and the inevitable specter of someone coming in to ruin everything with their piping hot political takes that come in dryer than your dad’s turkey? Every year, Fancy Boys Club co-founder Brandon Andreasen is here to guide you through the holidays in a way that will hopefully allow you to survive with your brain intact, if not quite your sanity. All though Christmas season, Brandon will talk you through topics to survive the minefield that is getting all of your family together at once.

Timing is a funny thing. It can be a great sense of serendipity, or it can be the harbinger for your uncle to explain why people are supposed to stand for the National Anthem. For those who are blissfully disconnected from social media, Colin Kaepernick is in the news again, which is sure to agitate the most flag humping of your friends and family members.

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Comedy, Misc., Pop Culture, Uncategorized

Dust on the Road: Sesame Street at 50

November 18, 2019November 18, 2019by copperwriteLeave a Comment

Let’s call this take on Sesame Street ‘sad comedic nostalgia’. Sesame Street, for those unaware, turns 50 this week. I, and so many others, grew up on Sesame Street and are hovering near the age of the show, so this milestone takes me back. I’ll first take a look at how Sesame Street shaped me and others, then follow it up with how its original characters will do in their retirement years.

There’s a certain melancholy sense one can have when thinking back at their childhood and how Sesame Street helped mold it as if one’s childhood were soft clay. In truth, it is. Every moment of one’s upbringing puts a mark on your childhood, like your mother or father slapping pencil marks on a door jamb to monitor your physical growth.

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