Welcome back, my friends! It’s almost as if football season never ended. In reality, it doesn’t end. Football is a 12 month content machine. It never stops. Maybe you are able to detach from it and live normal lives. That’s not me, though. I spend my days staring at FanDuel, talking myself into burning money on MVP bets in March, and am already scouring the internet hoping to find defensive rookie of the year odds. Yes i’m a psychopath. It’s in my nature.
With the draft wrapping up, the good free agents signed, and Aaron Rodgers finally cast off to get eaten alive by the New York media, lets jump in and do a Power Ranking!
1: Philadelphia Eagles
Continue reading “NFL Post-Draft Power Rankings” →
Super Bowl Odds: +850
It seems like just yesterday that I lost interest in writing a weekly power ranking of NFL teams that you could find on literally any sports website (albeit less funny and witty). Then I blinked and suddenly the season is 75% done. If you are a Bears fan like me, the season was over the moment they chose to draft Kyler Gordon and Velus Jones over, you know, players with talent. If you are a Packers fan, your season didn’t end until Aaron Rodgers started acting like he had been shot every time someone touched him. If you are a fan of the Eagles, then your season is very much still alive.
Now that we are past Thanksgiving and headlong into the Mariah Carey soundtracked Christmas hellscape, it’s time to take a look at every team based on my patented Adam Gase Scale. For those that don’t remember, Gase is one of the worst coaches in NFL history, and managed to get hired by the Jets to be head coach even after he had been discovered to be a fraud. The more Adam Gases on the Adam Gase scale, the worse a team is.
Continue reading “FBC NFL Power Rankings 3/4 Season Edition” →
At a time when one specific topic is all we can think, talk, read, or write about, one documentary came into our lives to save the day. Now, the sensation known as Tiger King has taken America by storm and definitely harmed our already bruised reputation worldwide. It is, quite possibly, the most important thing available to stream right now.
Continue reading “Power Rankings: Tiger King” →
By all means, don’t read on if you have not completed the journey through the Netflix documentary. Spoilers abound. The following is my opinion and not the opinion of the Fancy Boys at large. In fact, most of the staff has no interest in watching Tiger King. Yours truly bit that bullet for you and loved every minute of it. Please, if you have any problems with my rankings, kiss my ass. I have 224 motherfucking tigers.
This is it everyone! It’s the best time of the year. We have three games on Saturday to act as extra incentive to not have to pay attention to your family during the holidays! What did we do without football? Talk? Love? I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. Let’s play the feud!
1: Baltimore Ravens
On Thursday night, the Ravens didn’t go out to beat the Jets. They went out to embarrass the Jets, and succeeded. They were far off in the distance when Lamar Jackson finally exited the game, having cemented his MVP resume for the season. Whoever represents the AFC in the Super Bowl has to go through Baltimore to get there.
Continue reading “FBC NFL Power Rankings Week 16” →
This is it guys! Three weeks left in the regular season and the NFC is a bigger mess than it has been in years! If the NFC is a heavyweight boxing match, then the AFC is a seven year old’s tickle fight. And the NFC East is a Bermudas Triangle of incompetent football. Let’s get to this week’s rankings!
1: Baltimore Ravens
This was the hardest any team punched Lamar Jackson in the face, as the Bills defense through hell at the Ravens’ quarterback all day. And Jackson walked away with a TKO victory. Baltimore has the one seed in the AFC in his grasp, and the division will be theirs as soon as next week.
Continue reading “FBC NFL Power Rankings Week 15” →
I hate football. Actually, thats a lie. I love football. I love having a boozy Sunday, enjoying beer while watching the games at my favorite bar. I just hate everything else about it. Like, I hate Antonio Brown. He is a slimy, creepy shithead. I hate Roger Goodell, using Bart Starr’s widow as a shield to avoid getting booed in an NFL stadium. I hate everything about both teams from the state of Florida, and there isn’t a way for the Redzone network to mute both games.
Mostly though, I hate how football makes me feel, having to balance my feelings of rooting for people who are going to have dementia and CTE by the time they are 50. Having to root for people who are notable creeps and scumbags. And mostly, I hate…you know, no. It’s none of that. I just really fucking hate the Florida teams. Lets get to the rankings!
Continue reading “FBC NFL Power Rankings Week 3” →
32 teams started their season this week. 31 team will continue on, while the Miami Dolphins are getting immediately relegated to the Big East conference, where they will play University of Connecticut and Syracuse, and probably lose to the University of Pittsburgh.
Continue reading “Fancy Boys NFL Power Rankings Week 2” →
Some things were expected, like the Chiefs winning and Jameis Winston being terrible. Elsewhere, the Chargers and Seahawks escaped with victories, while the Jaguars lost their quarterback, the Giants unfortunately still have theirs, and the Cardinals and Lions took turns trying to prove who deserved to win less. Let’s get into it!