life – Fancy Boys Club

Fear And Loathing in Indianapolis

July 3, 2026by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Nascar is returning to Joliet this weekend. For reasons! As far back as I was a Nascar fan, the 4th of July belonged to Daytona Speedway. The greatest racetrack under lights. That’s how I always thought it was meant to be. I also stopped watching Nascar years ago, and minus an errant bet, don’t even check the results. So imagine my shock when they announced they were bringing their event back to Joliet, a track they correctly abandoned years ago.

While i’m sure the Merichka’s 400, or whatever they are calling it, will get all the local racing fandom bricked up, it’s important to remember why Joliet lost their race in the first place: It was dreadfully boring. Much like Major League Baseball in the 1980’s with their stadium architecture, Chicagoland Speedway was built as a “cookie cutter” track, only marginally different than Texas, Kentucky, and Kansas. The racing was boring. The aerodynamics of the cars created a structure in which it became impossible to distinguish tracks in the 1.5-2.0 mile length.

Anyway, i’m not here to talk about Chicagoland Speedway. I’m here to talk about why Jeremy Borash can suck my butt.

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Uncategorized

A Few Words on Aging Recklessly

June 28, 2026by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Generally speaking, you don’t need a gun to your head to do stupid things. Most of the time, you do stupid things because you want to and/or think it’s a good idea. As people age, that desire to do stupid things tends to subside, especially when you throw esoteric concepts like children and mortgages into the mix. So why did I think it was a good idea to eat nine hotdogs and drink nine beers in under two hours? At a St. Louis Cardinals game of all places!?!

The fast answer to the question is “I don’t know why I did it.” The long answer requires a bit of unpacking, a lot of reflection, and the constant gnawing need to catch up for lost time.

We can probably back track to when I was young. I definitely did not grow up popular. I definitely had trouble interacting with people. Most people just say i’m autistic, but I actually have an anxiety disorder that makes me hate public spaces. I hate crowds. I hate talking in front of crowds. I’ve never felt comfortable in my own skin. That lent heavily to my inability to be socialable and scratch out a level of popularity that would make me look back in high school in the kind of wistful way so many do. A million jokes are made about people who never quite got over high school. But getting as far away from those years as possible while still having a yearning desire to make those youthful mistakes is probably just as laughable, if not the specific reason I keep finding myself in the messes I get myself in.

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Music/Movies, The Swiftening

The Swiftening, Part 12: The Life Of A Showgirl – The Life of Jesse from Saved By The Bell in Showgirls

October 4, 2025by The Fancy BoysLeave a Comment

Before December of 2020, Jordan Holmes (comedian, author, podcaster) had never, intentionally, listened to a Taylor Swift song. Then began The Swiftening, where Jordan decided to review every Swift album in order. Want to see the rest of his reviews? Just click on “The Swiftening” tab above the title of this and it will take you to Jordan’s reviews of Ms. Swift’s last eleven works.

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Uncategorized

It was a Day

January 25, 2025January 25, 2025by copperwriteLeave a Comment

It was a day.

One where the sun decided there was no point in showing itself, so the clouds were sent in to provide the grey so appropriate.
With the clouds came the snow. Not a blizzard of epic proportions, just snow. Slow snow, spitting, spotty, light, inconsistent in its consistency. Cold enough the snow stuck, piled up to nothing material – 5, maybe 6 inches lying flat in the open spaces where the bare tree limbs stretched out but failed to catch the snow, so it reached the ground.

There was nothingness. Wasn’t cold enough people would look back and say what they did during the Great Freeze of January 2025; not wet nor warm enough to remark how the streets ran with sluggish snowmelt; not deep enough to talk about the battle between shovelfuls; not windy enough for any shoveled snow to angrily return to the driveway.

It was a day.

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Advice, Misc.

To the friends of parents of special needs children: An open letter

September 22, 2024by Matt DrufkeLeave a Comment

Hey there. It’s me, Matt Drufke. I’m a writer. I’m a comedian and producer. I’m a husband. I’m a warehouse worker. Most importantly, I’m the father of two amazing and perfect boys, the youngest of whom is a nonverbal child on the spectrum. I know if you’re reading that, it probably sounds a little scary.

Guess what? You’re right!

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Advice, Misc., politics

Han Shan – written by Jordan Holmes

July 8, 2024July 8, 2024by The Fancy BoysLeave a Comment

I realize that this will be a difficult concept to understand, it is foreign, but I am intractable. I am uninterested in whatever you have found in these that you don’t like. It is what it is. We are at an impasse.

You may call me names, you may find me disgusting, you may find my nature annoying or brash or hypocritical; whatever you may desire I give to you as your personal genie. But I will not change my mind. I will not alter my course. I will not take steps I don’t want to take.

You may blame me! Blame me! I accept! I am at fault for Biden’s loss! And I raise you, we are at fault for Biden’s loss! How about that? Whatever blame you may cast upon me, you owe yourself as well! Except when I take that blame, I will take it knowing I tried it your way first, you failed, and I gave you the option to change. I accept full responsibility for my actions.

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politics

Bop it! Twist it! Steal it! – written by Jordan Holmes

July 7, 2024by The Fancy Boys2 Comments

A boundary is not a boundary if you can cross it. A principle is not a principle if it can be tossed aside. Once argument reaches the boundary, argument is over and conflict begins. We are in opposition. There is no argument to be had. If you disagree with my principles, you are wrong, incorrect, someone to be ignored and not listened to.

That is the definition of a principle.

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politics

Were You Lying? – written by Jordan Holmes

July 4, 2024July 4, 2024by The Fancy Boys3 Comments

I’ve been struggling deeply for the past week, I’ve been struggling with the same feeling I had during Alex Jones’ trial in Texas. I am bipolar, I am prone to mania, I’m prone to delusions of grandeur, so, in general, any time I think I can see something that the rest of the world cannot, I assume I am in the wrong.

Sometimes, I am suspicious that the rest of the world can, in fact, see what I see, and they are gaslighting me. I’m sure I’m right sometimes. But seeing the world through that lens will make you crazy, so no matter what the circumstances, it’s wiser to let it go.

But now, as in the trial, I know the rest of the world sees what I see and I know that the world is gaslighting me.

What’s more, what’s worse for my psyche, is that I know that when I talk to the TV, so to speak, the TV can hear me. I am fucking loud. I am not insane. I am not manic. I am not delusional.

All of you are out of your fucking minds.

Democracy is on the ballot

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Uncategorized

The Notches in the Door Frame

June 23, 2021June 23, 2021by Michael GraceLeave a Comment

Parenthood is strange. For the first few decades of life, you’re led to believe adults have all of the answers. They did, for better or worse. The subjective nature of finding the ‘right thing to do’ is the divine outcome of being alive and getting hurt. We endure pain on every plane of human experience and try to keep our children from bearing it as well, knowing full well that heartbreak is, in fact, an education. Most times, the answer is merely being there. But what comes of that when we’re gone?

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