The Chicago Cubs are Embarrassing

The Chicago Cubs are Embarrassing

It wasn’t supposed to end this way. It wasn’t supposed to end with fans, who had stayed loyal for so long, to get a taste of glory only for them to get punched in the stomach, over and over again. It was supposed to be a new era. Not the penny pinching from the ghosts of ownership past. There was supposed to be a run of talent in the minor league system that allowed for big name free agents to come to the team, as a destination point.

But that is over now. Because the Cubs are now a fucking embarassment.

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Miss – Won’t Miss – a list for the Prairie State

Three quick notes before I get on a roll here. One, I’ll miss a lot of people and there are so many I won’t name them. Note two? Well, COVID took a lot of what I’ll miss and that’s fucking sad. Note three – oh yeah, I moved to Colorado, hence the list.

MISS

Going to Art Galleries, especially Tony Fitzpatrick’s The Dime. Those were some nice nights and Saturdays – fuck COVID.

Driving to Rockford, etc with Steve Marshall to Open Mics even when he can’t fucking see half the time at night and he’s a prop comic who’s got an apartment full of stuff to take. Goddamn funny though.

Meeting at 6AM at Cesaroni’s Deli in Woodstock to watch the Tottenham Hotspur – the brothers Cesaroni open up, we buy lots of coffee and sammiches and yell at the TV.

Theatre and being a reviewer for the Northwest Herald – I got paid in tickets and that was perfectly fine… until COVID shit all over that. FU COVID. Speaking of theater…

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The FBC live blog of the MLB’s Hell Day

The FBC live blog of the MLB’s Hell Day

I have been looking forward to this day since it was announced. I wasn’t sure it would happen, but here we are. EIGHT PLAYOFF GAMES. It may never happen again, folks. So today, we’re going to do something stupid. A live blog from first pitch to last pitch of the eight game slate. Four teams, including two of our World Series champion picks… are on the chopping block. So, here is the plan, according to Indianapolis Coastal Time (aka Eastern time).

Game 1- Reds @ Braves 12pm
Game 2- Astros @ Twins 1pm
Game 1- Marlins @ Cubs 2pm
Game 2- White Sox @ Athletics 3pm
Game 2- Blue Jays @ Rays 4pm
Game 1- Cardinals @ Padres 5pm
Game 2- Yankees @ Indians 7pm
Game 1- Brewers @ Dodgers 10pm

And here… we… go…

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The 2020 Cubs Preview

The 2020 Cubs Preview

If we can’t beat the olds now, we don’t really deserve it, do we? Not only do we outnumber them, the stakes for everyone but the old assholes who have essentially destroyed the world are so much higher.

Greta Thunberg put it badassedly: “…nature doesn’t bargain and you cannot make ‘deals’ with physics.”

Make no mistake, if Bernie doesn’t win – and not only that, but if Bernie doesn’t win AND/OR we, the youngs, don’t put every single ounce of sustained pressure upon them, the olds – then we will be utterly destroyed in a very serious, non-hyperbolic way. Climate Change is here, it is getting worse, and it is accelerating. 

That will definitely affect baseball.

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The MLB’s Hot Stove League – The January Report

January’s come in with a select amount of subtlety, but in the MLB it’s been quite the wild whirling dervish of deals and free agent signings. Before I get to what individual team got and still needs, let’s take a trip around the horn and see where the big names landed like a big lake trout on a dish. Trout sounds so good right now.

Garret Cole. OK. Fine. I was wrong. Are you happy I admitted it? I thought for certain he was going to be an Angel, but neigh he decided to become a devil, AKA a Yankee. Curse you Cole!

Stephen Strasburg. I was correct, stuck with the Nationals. Bite me.

Anthony Rendon. The biggest stick in the free agent class went to the Angels. Now he’s paired with Mike Trout (which still sounds good BTW). Good golly that’ll be fun to watch!

Madison Bumgarner – I’m as giddy he didn’t go to the Twins as I am mad he went to the Diamondbacks. C’mon MadBum! Why those desert bums? Why?!

Hyu-Jin Ryu – Left baseball to start a Korean BBQ franchise called Ryu’s Ribs. OK. Fine. He signed with the Blue Jays. Canadians love Koreans, primarily due to the alliteration.

Didi Gregorius – And I was right. He went to the Phillies to re-join Joe Girardi… and to get a cheese steak.

Corey Kluber – once the ace of the Indians staff, he was traded to the Rangers for a sack of beads.

Eric Thames – not quite a huge deal as he signed a 1-year contract with the Nationals, but what’s significant is he is yet another player who doesn’t want to play for the Brew Crew… or he got tired of all that Usinger’s Sausage.

Tommy Pham – good news is the Tampa Rays traded him from a fan base whose median age is 80 to San Diego whose fan base is a youthful 77. Bad news? You have to be a Brown Shirt now, dude.

Rick Porcello – signed with the Mets. All of Boston breathed a huge sigh of relief, and ordered a pie.

Dallas Kuechel – former CY Young award winner who sat out most of last year signed with the White Sox. Fingers crossed he enjoys Sox Park, and deep dish pizza.

And who has yet to find a team?

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The MLB’s Hot Stove League – The December Report

What? It’s December? But that means… yes, MLB’s Winter meetings have snuck up on us like a polar vortex wind, getting us baseball fans all nipply with excitement.

A few things have happened since the November Report. A quick summation:

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David Ross is the new Cubs Manager…now what?

In news that seemed meant to be since the Cubs limped across the finish line this season, David Ross was named the new manager of the Chicago Cubs. Great. What comes next?

Unfortunately for Cubs fans and executives alike, David Ross isn’t the answer to the problem that the Cubs have as they reach their “dynasty” crossroads. How did the Cubs get to this point? They were supposed to be THE team of the second half of the decade. They were going to duke it out every season in the World Series with the Houston Astros. What went wrong? In short, a lot. Can David Ross fix it? Not by himself.

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Delicious Darkness of Delusion aka Math Hurts

“What are you going to do now? Hit me? Is that it? I don’t see your reasoning so now you’re going to hit me?”

“Why does it always come to that? Seriously, why? Hitting you would be… well it would be completely unfair because I know what’s coming. It’s not exactly like you’re going to pop me with a surprise left.” Continue reading “Delicious Darkness of Delusion aka Math Hurts”