March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Heart Attack Region)

March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Heart Attack Region)

Fast food isn’t healthy. It’s doesn’t always taste good. Sometimes, it’s can barely even be considered food.

And yet, there’s something about it that’s undeniable. There’s a comfort to unwrapping a cheeseburger or eating fries in the car. There’s peace in leaving a drive-thru knowing that your needs will all be met. And sometimes, you’re just hungover as balls.

Whether it’s burgers, fries, desserts, or a variety of other items, we’ve taken 64 of the best foods which are prepared quickly and will have them competing against each other. And we need your help to determine the winner.

Enter March Fatness.

Continue reading “March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Heart Attack Region)”

I Wanna Sink To The Bottom With You: Remembering Adam Schlesinger

I Wanna Sink To The Bottom With You: Remembering Adam Schlesinger

I wanted to be the one who wrote thoughts about Adam Schlesinger, who was part of the beautiful group Fountains Of Wayne as well as a man who dipped his toes into songs for television, movies, and the stage. Schlesinger died on Wednesday due to complications from coronavirus at the age of 52.

So, why can’t I fucking think of anything to say?

Continue reading “I Wanna Sink To The Bottom With You: Remembering Adam Schlesinger”

March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Liver Failure Region)

March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Liver Failure Region)

Fast food isn’t healthy. It’s doesn’t always taste good. Sometimes, it’s can barely even be considered food.

And yet, there’s something about it that’s undeniable. There’s a comfort to unwrapping a cheeseburger or eating fries in the car. There’s peace in leaving a drive-thru knowing that your needs will all be met. And sometimes, you’re just hungover as balls.

Whether it’s burgers, fries, desserts, or a variety of other items, we’ve taken 64 of the best foods which are prepared quickly and will have them competing against each other. And we need your help to determine the winner.

Enter March Fatness.

Continue reading “March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Liver Failure Region)”

Power Rankings: Tiger King

Power Rankings: Tiger King

At a time when one specific topic is all we can think, talk, read, or write about, one documentary came into our lives to save the day. Now, the sensation known as Tiger King has taken America by storm and definitely harmed our already bruised reputation worldwide. It is, quite possibly, the most important thing available to stream right now.

By all means, don’t read on if you have not completed the journey through the Netflix documentary. Spoilers abound. The following is my opinion and not the opinion of the Fancy Boys at large. In fact, most of the staff has no interest in watching Tiger King. Yours truly bit that bullet for you and loved every minute of it. Please, if you have any problems with my rankings, kiss my ass. I have 224 motherfucking tigers.

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March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Diabetes Region)

March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Diabetes Region)

Fast food isn’t healthy. It’s doesn’t always taste good. Sometimes, it’s can barely even be considered food.

And yet, there’s something about it that’s undeniable. There’s a comfort to unwrapping a cheeseburger or eating fries in the car. There’s peace in leaving a drive-thru knowing that your needs will all be met. And sometimes, you’re just hungover as balls.

Whether it’s burgers, fries, desserts, or a variety of other items, we’ve taken 64 of the best foods which are prepared quickly and will have them competing against each other. And we need your help to determine the winner.

Enter March Fatness.

Continue reading “March Fatness: The Elite 8 (Diabetes Region)”

The Next Person Who Compares this to The Flu is the Next Person I Stab in the Fucking Neck

The Next Person Who Compares this to The Flu is the Next Person I Stab in the Fucking Neck

Title courtesy of Matt Drufke. And you know what? Matt can use the word ‘fucking’ because frankly you’d have to be a complete moron to think this is ‘just like the flu.’ Yes, it is not recommended one uses the words ‘moron’ or ‘fucking’ if you want to engage your reader at the beginning of your article, but for fuck’s sake this whole ‘it’s just the flu’ is sheer idiocy. Why be nice about it?

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Wonders of Woodstock – The Eateries, Part I of II: Woodstock Square

In the time we are currently living in what’s better than to take stock of what we can’t do right now in Woodstock, Illinois – dine in. But first, I must digress before we digest.

I thought I could stretch this to three parts, but then I’d have to count the McHenry County Courthouse as a place to eat. Trust me it’s not, as the vending machines suck. Plus, the McHenry County Courthouse is where I got my car keyed. You’d think the person who did it would have had enough sense not to do it in a parking lot full of cops, but no, my ex-wife did it anyway. Before you laugh at her absolute awful place to pick? Stop. She got away with it. The McHenry County Courthouse has so many cops around they don’t have cameras in the parking lot. She confessed much later to our kids and that’s the only reason I know. How special.

Thanks for allowing me to get that off my chest. Much better now.

Continue reading “Wonders of Woodstock – The Eateries, Part I of II: Woodstock Square”