Baseball, Art Out of Time: Touch ‘Em All, Joe

Baseball, Art Out of Time: Touch ‘Em All, Joe

There are two ways to end a baseball game- either the final out is recorded, or the winning run is driven in. In the 1992 World Series, the last out was a failed bunt by the Braves’ Otis Nixon, easily scooped up by Blue Jays pitcher Mike Timlin and tossed to first. It was a simple play, one that Joe Carter had fielded hundreds of times before. As he clenched the ball, he started jumping around like a kid, elation overtaking his body. Carter had caught the last out of the season.

The following year, the Blue Jays were back in the World Series. Back then, home field advantage merely alternated between the leagues. So that meant game six in 1993 would be played in the American League park. The Phillies held a 6-5 lead going into the bottom of the ninth, hoping to force game seven. Rickey Henderson was at second, Paul Molitor was on first representing the winning run. Mitch Williams ran a 2-2 count on Carter, regaining the advantage on a slider inside. The next pitch was a near carbon copy of the one Carter had missed, but he swung again anyway.

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This Isn’t The Player’s Fault

This Isn’t The Player’s Fault

Last week, MLB players were supposed to start Spring Training. Currently, they are sitting at home, waiting. Due to an ongoing lock out, Major League Baseball has been put on pause, with the threat of part of the baseball season being cancelled. As with all things such as this, there is a lot of acrimony involved, and unfortunately, a lot of the negativity is being directed towards the players. This is wrong.

The players are not to blame for this fora number of reasons, but the biggest reason is this: The players are not on strike. The players are ready to go back to work immediately under the parameters of the most recent Collective Bargaining agreement. The owners have locked out the players in an effort to further restrict player’s abilities to make money while maximizing profits for teams that are not currently putting in an effort to win games.

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California Knows How To Party: Dr. Dre, Sexual Anarchy, and Where This Super Bowl Halftime Show Ranks

California Knows How To Party: Dr. Dre, Sexual Anarchy, and Where This Super Bowl Halftime Show Ranks

First off, let’s get the disappointments out of the way: there was no hologram Tupac on Sunday night.

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An Agnostic Football Fan Guide to the Super Bowl

An Agnostic Football Fan Guide to the Super Bowl

So it’s that time of the year. The biggest sporting event of the season is happening and your favorite team is long since eliminated from contention. The elimination could be heartbreaking (49ers/Chiefs) or predetermined by fate (Jaguars/Lions). Thirty fan bases are left out in the rain on February 13th. And the remaining fanbases?

Bengals fans have been so embarrassed by their team over the past three decades that they didn’t really claim their own existence until a month and a half ago.

The Rams….well, they don’t have fans. I can speak to this because I was in St. Louis over the weekend, when they beat the 49ers to go to the Super Bowl. The team, who existed in the STL until just a couple years ago, do not have many fans (more on this later). The team now exists in Los Angeles, which doesn’t give a damn about them.

Over 70 million people watch the Super Bowl each year. The vast majority of those people are not fans of the Bengals or Rams. Welcome to the Agnostic Football Fan Guide to Super Bowl LVI.

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The NHL Report at the All-Star Break

The NHL in the first ‘half’ (we are beyond the halfway point but the All-Star Break is a reasonable spot to be considered halfway), we saw the league do some good things. One, they pulled their players from participating in the Olympics. Frankly, just preventing the players from being exhausted for the stretch run it would have made sense. Protecting them from possibly being more exposed than they already are to COVID is another. Two, COVID protocols have seemed to work. There have been times when teams have had to take time off because their ranks have been decimated by the virus, but that lay-off doesn’t really seem to affect good teams. And bad teams are, by definition, bad so who fucking cares.

Regarding good teams, let’s slip on some skates and glide around with my favorite team, the Colorado Avalanche. They played Trashville on December 16th and got their ass handed to them, losing 5-2. Due to COVID, they didn’t play again until January 2nd. Basically, they got a public-school Christmas Break. A long layoff ought to make a team pretty rusty, right? Umm, large no on that one. They won their return game, roasting the Ducks 4-2, then proceeded to go 14-1 for January, vaulting themselves into first place in the Western Conference. They’re 8 points above the Trashville Sabre Cats (Yes I know they are the Nashville Predators, but look at their dumb-ass logo) with two games in hand.

Nazem Kadri of the Avalanche is having a hell of a season. Here’s hoping he keeps his head on straight and doesn’t do anything stupid to get suspended like her did for the playoffs last year. Photo via The Hockey News shot by Jeff Curry – USA Today Sports

What does two games in hand mean? I’ll get to that. Tighten the laces on your skates and let’s continue.

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90 Seconds of Fame: the Legacy of Ski Ballet

90 Seconds of Fame: the Legacy of Ski Ballet

The Beijing Winter Olympics are upon us, and with that comes another political elephant in the room and of course the existential dread of that thing we’ve all been dealing with. Still, the Olympics are a time to honor what is great in humanity, displaying the best of our youth. Over the next two weeks, figure skaters will dazzle us, curlers will inspire us, and those skeleton dudes will have us feeling anxious. Years ago, in the days of Cool Runnings, there was a sport just on the fringe of Olympic competition called Ski Ballet. It was here and gone before it could grab the hearts and minds of the world, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t special. I assure you, whatever you’re picturing in your head, you’re probably correct.

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4 Ways In Which Tom Brady Is Inferior To Air Bud

4 Ways In Which Tom Brady Is Inferior To Air Bud

The sports world was saddened today as Tom Brady announced his retirement, assumably so he can continue what appears to be his true passion of making incredibly cheesy commercials for rental car companies. There is no way to understate Brady’s dominance of the NFL, and you could make the argument that he is not only the best quarterback in the history of the league, but also the best player.

However, I am not interested in comparing him to all QBs or every person to ever play in the NFL. I’m only curious in how Brady stacks up to one man.

And, by man, I mean dog.

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Maybe Sunday’s Playoff Games Were Not Really That Good?

Maybe Sunday’s Playoff Games Were Not Really That Good?

This weekend featured, if the internet is to be believed, the best week of playoff football, perhaps, ever. Multiple last-second finishes that had NFL twitter going insane and fans of teams getting happy drunk, sad drunk, or angry drunk, depending on who you were rooting for.

And while I do agree that Saturday’s Packers-49ers game was a very good game (though it made me sad for my mom, a diehard Packers fan), I didn’t see two good games on Sunday. I saw one bad game and one reason why football is flawed. And I know I’m not considered the NFL expert on this site, but perhaps that makes my everyman take something to consider.

Yesterday, the NFL done fucked up. So let’s stop pretending like it was good.

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DeMar DeRozan had himself a pretty good 24 hours last week…

DeMar DeRozan had himself a pretty good 24 hours last week…

In an NBA season in which DeMar DeRozan has already had an insane amount of highlights, the Bulls star had himself a pretty impressive 24-hour stint.

Chicago fans cheered with glee as DeRozan, who was establishing himself as an impressive NBA star, joined the Bulls alongside Zach LaVine and Nikola Vucevic. When the Bulls also grabbed Lonzo Ball and Alex Caruso, there was something the United Center hadn’t felt in a great number of years: hope.

And DeRozan has lived up to the hype. He should absolutely be an all-star this year and needs to be in MVP consideration. He is someone who is producing for the Bulls, especially late in games. No player this year has scored more points in the fourth quarter than DeMar DeRozan. When it counts, he wants the ball. And he can almost always deliver.

Ok, let’s get into last week…

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The Great Gridiron in the Sky is Gifted a Legend

BOOM! With crazy-ass Al Davis, getting a great coach and keeping them is pure luck. He rolled 7’s to get John Madden. Madden was first hired as the Raiders Linebacker Coach then two years later moved up to the head coaching position to become – at the time – the youngest head coach ever at 32. He lasted 9 seasons with Al Davis, and took the Raiders to a Super Bowl, winning Super Bowl XI against the hapless Vikings 32-14 (yes the Vikings are hapless. They are the Bills of the NFC: 4 trips and 0 trophies).

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