Next week, millions of Americans will make the choice to not have large family gatherings for Thanksgiving. Granted, millions will also decide to go ahead and pretend like nothing is different, which is why we will be in a lockdown until Joe Biden’s second term as president.Continue reading “Thanksgiving Isn’t Really That Great: Reasons To Stay Home This Year”
One of the most ridiculous stories to come from President Trump’s first term was when he tried to purchase Greenland, presumably to make it another state (or, at the very least, another U.S. territory). It was met with general scoffing and mockery from both political sides (save for the Donald’s most ardent bootlickers) and seen by many as a petulant child getting upset that he couldn’t buy anything he wanted. I remember finding the idea ridiculous back in 2019. But now, I’m not so sure.
Now, I kind of think it’s fucking dope.
But why stop there?Continue reading “The Next 50 Stars: My Plan To Get America To 100 States”
There is no good reason to vote for Biden. I’ve read the arguments, and I’ve been trying to find one that exists within a moral framework, but it doesn’t exist. Biden is a shitbag ’90s Republican and Republicans are, at best, amoral.
There is a reason to vote for Biden; he is not Trump. The end. “Biden is not Trump” is not a good reason to vote for someone, it is just a reason. Stop trying to convince me there is anything behind a vote for Biden aside from that. He has no policy positions that I can support, because he has no policies at all. Feel free to argue that he does — he has a website with some on it — but for fuck’s sake, he has a history, we know what that is, and it’s shit. Should he become President, he will continue to be shit. He’s as corrupt as everyone else, he’s a patriarchal moron, and he will absolutely cave to the Republicans at every opportunity. If you can’t see that, you haven’t been paying attention.Continue reading “Give Me Power”
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, in a cave or have been lost in the jungle and away from all forms of media (in which case I envy you so), you know the Iowa Caucuses were held last week. What should’ve been the first step toward thinning the literal herd (gaggle?) of Democrats running for POTUS against a common orange enemy turned into what political experts typically call, “a total fucking shitshow”. This doorknob hump of a voting event is a prime example of how American elections are flawed to such an extent that we’ve come to exist in a Twilight Zone-esque hellscape, held hostage by a super dumb minority. So what’s wrong and how can we fix it?I’m glad you asked! Let’s walk through this together!Continue reading “The Iowa Caucus: A Profile in American Dumbassery”