Four Questions About The Last Dance

Four Questions About The Last Dance

The Last Dance, ESPN’s brilliant ten-part documentary about the Jordan era of the Chicago Bulls and their last championship season, ended last night and it has a lot of people feeling a lot of things. Personally, I’m pretty bummed that I don’t get to throw myself into any more of this amazing series about my favorite team in my favorite sport. I imagine my wife is relieved that she no longer has to watch this with the additional “Drufke commentary”, which is me telling her stories she does not want to hear during commercial breaks while also trying to justify how I only got one of the trivia questions correct. For Bryon Russell, I’m sure he’s trying to find a cave to hide in for a few weeks after being reminded that after telling a retired Jordan in 1993 that he would have been able to guard him, he unwittingly gave Jordan the fuel he would need to straight out embarrass Russell by scoring on him to win back-to-back finals.

Director Jason Hehir gave us everything we could have possibly asked for, and then some. This is a marvel in not just sports films, but as a documentary. Even I, a die-hard Bulls fan (I can, for example, spell Jud Buechler’s name correctly without looking), learned a whole lot of new things about this era of Chicago basketball. For example, I learned that John Paxson is now bald and kinda looks like Lex Luthor, which is apropos if you have paid attention to the decisions he has made since entering the Bulls’ front office.

However, as much as The Last Dance gave me, when it ended, I found myself asking four big questions. I present those to you here, so we may ponder them together.

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A Godking Could Bleed: The Night Allen Iverson Humbled Michael Jordan (for a few seconds)

A Godking Could Bleed: The Night Allen Iverson Humbled Michael Jordan (for a few seconds)

Mythology in America is a funny concept. Sure, there have been people here for millennia and they all passed down stories and legends, but in relation to Middle-East and Mediterranean lore, our bowl sits nearly bare. Sports fill that void as the gladiators of modern times give life to moments that transcend just a game. The moment in question signaled a sea change in NBA history. On March 12, 1997, the Chicago Bulls were on their way to their second straight title, fresh off the undisputed greatest season in basketball history. They were at the height of their powers. But their superstar, the face of the sport, was aging. Before there was “The Last Dance,” there was a question as to when the great Michael Jordan would finally show cracks in the armor. Philadelphia had The Answer.

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The NBA had PLENTY of Time to Prepare for Zion Lateef Williamson

The NBA had PLENTY of Time to Prepare for Zion Lateef Williamson

Now let me pray to keep you from
The perils that will surely come
See life for you my prince has just begun

Ms. Lauryn Hill, “To Zion”

I was asked a few times yesterday what I thought Zion Williamson would have to average per game in order to steal the rookie of the year award from Ja Morant. My answer was, of course, absurd. I said 22 points, 10 rebounds, 6 assists. Last night was Zion’s long-awaited debut. He didn’t hit 22/10/6, but uh… he made that look extremely possible.

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Picking the NBA Team of the Decade, No All-Stars Allowed

Picking the NBA Team of the Decade, No All-Stars Allowed

Back in December, the NBA world was bombarded with content about the team of the decade, like it’s somehow profound to decide that LeBron James, Steph Curry, and Kevin Durant are in fact worthy of that distinction. Great, that’s cool, and I’ve read them all despite redundancy. But what about the guys who worked their ass off all decade long and never made it to the All-Star Game? They’re the real heroes, holding the Association together while the stars tear it apart.

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The NBA was not prepared for Temetrius Jamel Morant

The NBA was not prepared for Temetrius Jamel Morant

“Tell that motherfucker about me,” said the rookie point guard. He had just been challenged to take an open three by James Harden, Tuesday night in Memphis. Harden, one of the game’s premier shooters, tried to get into the head of Morant. Instead, he boosted the confidence of a young man who had already proven himself on the big stage. Even in the age where (almost) everyone can shoot the deep ball, where (almost) everyone has some sort of deceptive layup package, the NBA was still not prepared for Ja Morant.

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You All Need To Get On The NBA Twitter Feed Right Damn Now!!!

I am not normally one to freak out and post Buzzfeed-esque articles. If you like my writing, it means you like excessive prose. After all, why use 200 words when you can use 2,500, many of which incorrectly?

But the NBA twitter account is on fucking fire right now, and I needed you to know that right now.

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Baddest Athletes of All Time Draft: Rounds 1 & 2

Baddest Athletes of All Time Draft: Rounds 1 & 2

As kids, we were all taught about the importance of good sportsmanship. Some kids listened and took those lessons to heart, others just didn’t give a fuck.

Today, we remember those athletes.

The biggest hitters. The best on-field fighters. The players who pushed the boundaries so far it forced their league to change the rules. The players who just ignored the boundaries entirely. The dudes you simply wouldn’t want to fuck with.

In making our list, we only had one rule: we weren’t going to include any athletes where fighting is a primary function of the sport. No boxers, MMA fighters, or wrestlers.

Here’s the official Fancy Boys Club draft of the meanest, dirtiest, toughest son of bitches to every play sports.

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Vendettas in Dice Games: Say Hello to Kyrie Irving’s Brooklyn Nets

Vendettas in Dice Games: Say Hello to Kyrie Irving’s Brooklyn Nets

Kyrie jumped from the Celtics to the Nets this summer in a somewhat surprising move. With all of the talk surrounding the team as one to watch next season, there is a feeling that 2019-20 is a freebie season where the Nets have no real consequences for struggling. So on opening night, Irving put on a show for the home crowd.

First, before looking at the tape, lets take a look at how the Nets shared shooting responsibilities. It was known from the jump that Kyrie would handle a lion share of attempts, but the figures here are actually quite eye-popping.

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The Worst Best Year

The Worst Best Year

Jerry O Connell is on TV again. He is playing some relative of Magnum P.I. Magnum P.I. is the name of Tom Selleck in the TV show Magnum P.I. I do not know what the name of Tom Selleck’s character in Magnum P.I. is. In my opinion, regardless of whatever facts you may bring to me, the name of Tom Selleck’s character in Magnum P.I. is, indeed, Magnum P.I. I refuse to look this up. I will be actively furious should the name of Tom Selleck’s character in Magnum P.I. actually be Magnum P.I. And yet.

Thoughts I have because of the NBA.

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