Welcome everybody to my constantly updating live blog where I’ll be giving my thoughts about picks throughout tonight’s first round of the NFL draft. All of the lovey eyes being made between prospects and teams. All of the subterfuge and personality testing. Everything is done. Tonight is where the rubber hits the road. Tonight is about changing teams through the draft and…..BAH GAWD THAT’S AARON RODGER’S MUSIC!
Continue reading “2021 NFL Draft First Round Live Blog”
When you love movies the way I love movies, there are just things that you know are true. Films shown in 70 MM will always be the preferred method of viewing. The 1970’s was the best decade, so far, of film. And the greatest movie of all time is Citizen Kane.
Orson Welles’ 1941 cinematic masterpiece is always the film that everyone speaks of when we’re talking about the greatest stories put onto cellulite. Here’s how great the film is: Last year’s Mank, about the life of Citizen Kane screenwriter Herman J. Mankiewicz, got two Oscars. A film about the greatest film got recognized last week, and Mank won more (and was nominated for more) Oscars than Citizen Kane itself. And Mank, as we discussed on this site last week, is only David Fincher’s ninth best film.
Hollywood is weird.
However, yesterday something happened to change everything you know about movies. It’s the most important story of the year in film and, I can only assume, what will be one of the most memorable stories of all time. Honestly, if Joe Biden doesn’t mention this tonight in his speech to the joint session of Congress, then democracy, as we know it, is dead. Paradigms have shifted and everything we once learned was proven wrong. According to one source, Citizen Kane is no longer the greatest film of all time. The critics have spoken and Rotten Tomatoes has listened and there is a new champion.
But what is this new masterpiece? What film have critics raised to the top of the pile? What piece of art is so fabulous that all others, including the masterful Citizen Kane, bow in deference?
Yeah, get ready… it’s finally time for a piece about Paddington 2.
Continue reading “When A Marmalade-Loving Bear Takes Down The King”
On Monday, we discussed all of the things I got right and wrong last year. On the whole, I definitely could have done worse. That is mostly because I simply refused to reread every word I wrote in the leadup to the draft. My writing is tiring to both write and read. I just glanced over the bigger points, and the points I specifically remember (KMEEEEEEEEET!)
I realize, though, that it would just be easier to dump all of my hot takes into one place. So here we go! Here are the things I think about the 2021 NFL Draft!
Continue reading “Brandon’s 2021 Draft Predictions That People Can Hold Against Me!”
There’s a warm static over the ballpark on Chicago’s south side. Typically by this time in late July, the weather is overbearing. Today, however, is unlike most days before it. An unseasonably cool stretch had this game begin in weather echoing late spring, and the giddiness that annually comes with that was palpable as well. Through eight innings, the Tampa Bay Rays have brought twenty-four men to the plate. None have reached base. Mark Buehrle, the White Sox’ quick-working ace is inching closer to one of the rarest feats in professional sports- the perfect game. Manager Ozzie Guillen, a White Sox folk hero in his own right, has made a defensive substitution to start the final frame. He is pulling Carlos Quentin from left field, sliding centerfielder Scott Podsednik into his place, and bringing DeWayne Wise into the game to play center. The move is to shore up the defense for two-thirds of his outfield ahead of three consecutive right-handed hitters to end the game. The first of these, Gabe Kapler, fouls a few pitches away, takes a ball high out of the zone, and stays alive. The next pitch will be remembered forever in the Windy City.
Continue reading “Baseball, Art out of Time: Under the Circumstances”
Every year, I throw myself down a flight of stairs in an attempt to give my opinion on the NFL draft. There is obviously no way to be 100 percent accurate with your predictions, but sometimes I am egregiously bad! Sometimes I’m right, but people aren’t interested in that so much. As is a yearly tradition, i’m going to go over the stuff I got wrong last year, with the occasional sprinkling of stuff I got right. Actually, screw you guys! I’m leading off with what I got right. Don’t like it, go start your own website you human merkin!
What I got right: The Bears were dumb to draft Cole Kmet.
Continue reading “Brandon’s Annual Draft Predictions That People Can Hold Against Me!”This could be thought of two ways – the NHL has reached the 80th percentile on their way through the regular season… or the NHL is really playing at about 80% overall right now.
In truth, it’s both.
This article was all set to run Monday morning… as in Monday the 19th of April. Sunday the 18th was supposed to be Colorado Avalanche game number 45, the benchmark for roughly 80% through the regular season.
So what happened?
A short while ago, justice was served.
Derek Chauvin, the police officer who, on video, murdered George Floyd was convicted of all the counts he was charged with- second-degree unintentional murder, third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter. His bail was revoked and he was taken away in handcuffs, remanded into custody.
I am currently overwhelmed with feelings and emotions and would just like to share a few of them.
Continue reading “Derek Chauvin: Convicted Murderer”
When you’re looking at the nominees for Best Director (as I did yesterday), you’ll see that four of the five nominees have something in common: with one notable exception, every director vying for the big prize is a relative newcomer. Promising Young Woman is Emerald Fennell’s directorial debut, and Lee Issac Chung (Minari), Thomas Vinterberg (Another Round) and Chloè Zhao (Nomadland) all have had careers, but each of them are finding the spotlight with their nominated film. I mean, to be fair, Vinterberg has had a very illustrious career in his home country of Denmark, but this is the first time American audiences are really finding out about him.
The one notable exception is David Fincher. And he is, in no uncertain terms, pretty fucking notable.
Since 1994, David Fincher has been one of Hollywood’s most consistent director. His films have two notable things in common: they are interesting, profitable, and always among the best films of the year. What’s even more amazing about that is that Fincher makes a very specific type of movie: his movies are usually for adults and capable of evoking strong emotions. Zhao will probably win the Oscar this week, and her next film is a Marvel movie. It is almost impossible to imagine David Fincher taking this kind of a career arc.
Unlike the other great directors of this era (Spielberg, The Coen Brothers, Steven Soderbergh) who seem capable of cranking out a movie every nine months or so, Fincher is known for laborious work schedules. Dude is gonna take his time and you will get his movie when he is goddamned good and ready. Stories from the set of his films often involve tens, or in some cases, over a hundred takes, as the director attempts to break actors down to get the most raw and real performances. When you take into account that the best performances from some pretty impressive actors (Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, Jesse Eisenberg, Rooney Mara, Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, etc.) come from David Fincher films, it’s hard to argue with the process.
And yet, for all of his excellence, especially in the 21st century, Fincher has not gotten any real love from the Academy. Three nominations and no wins, and what they choose to nominate is fucking baffling. Mank, the film he is currently nominated for, is his most nominated film, and it’s nowhere close to being his best film.
So what is his best film? Let’s rank some Fincher, my little film darlings!
Continue reading “FBC Oscar Coverage, Part XI: Ranking David Fincher”
Well, it’s been a long road. We’ve talked about screenplays. We’ve talked about leading performances and supporting performances. We talked about all of the categories that are on when you decide to take a bathroom break. But now, it’s time for the two big categories. Let’s get predictin’!!!
Continue reading “FBC Oscar Coverage, Part X: Predicting The Winners (Part 5)”
It’s October, something unfamiliar to the Detroit Tigers. The last time they won a playoff series was the 1984 World Series, twenty-two years in the rear view mirror. They’ve already won one this year taking three straight games over the dreaded Yankees after dropping the first. Tonight, they could sweep the perennial postseason participant Athletics. The game is tied at three as it turns to the bottom of the ninth. The first two Tiger batters went down quickly, Marcus Thames on a flyball to center and Curtis Granderson, in his first full season, on a liner to right. Craig Monroe singles. Placido Polanco follows suit. The pennant-clinching runner is in scoring position. In steps Magglio Ordoñez, the ten-year veteran from Venezuela. His opponent is the 2005 Rookie of the Year, Huston Street. They had only met twice before, the first time back on July 4th of the current year, when Street got Ordoñez to strike out swinging on four pitches. The second, three days earlier that ended in a groundout. But every at bat is another chance to undo a previous mistake. Comerica Field is shaking in anticipation of a World Series berth. Magglio steps into the batter’s box, grinds his front cleat against the dirt to get a strong foothold. Street gets the sign, winds and delivers.
Continue reading “Baseball, Art out of Time: High Into The Night”
Fancy Boys Club 