Fucking fuck goddamn it fucking fuck it all to goddamn fucking hell.
We don’t know.
We’re just really sad.
There’s a truth about sports that is hard to understand, but I barely completed what people would call “some college”, so I figure I’ll take a shot at it.
When it comes to all sports, games do not matter. Not really.Continue reading “We’ve Never Needed The NBA More”
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The world gets better
There is no way to understate this: Life, as we know it, is going to get better in a few weeks.Continue reading “Countdown To Hope And Joy And Also Chris Rock”
As the light go down in the theater, I feel a twinge of excitement I have not felt in, what seems like, forever. Going to the movies has always been one of my favorite things to do, and not only am I back in a comfy chair, but I am seeing Tenet, the newest film from Christopher Nolan and my most anticipated movie of 2020.Continue reading “Fancy Boys Go To The Movies: The Concept Of Seeing Tenet”
Every morning I wake up with a different song in my head. Not sure why and I don’t think I need to seek the guidance of a psychiatrist or a swami to figure it out. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, but sometimes it fits.
Today it’s No Man’s Land by Bob Seger. For the NBA and its players, running out the string of playoff games in Orlando? The severely-under rated No Man’s Land fits like a Steve Kerr tweet about the POTUS.
We have a Game 7. Everything on the line, no holds barred, blah blah blah. Yes, Game 7s are special as they’re about a combination of frenzy and adoration. Most professional athletes live for the adrenaline a Game 7 brings forth out of their collective minds and bodies. But they also desire the adoration, and that’s what’s missing – an SRO crowd of fans foaming at the mouth pushing their stars to a greater level toward victory with their cheers or opponent humiliation with their jeers.
Let’s set the typical Game 7 scene for a moment.
Before there was Fancy Boys, there was another site I was writing for. I remember that I first started by doing insanely in-depth Oscar coverage (much like I did here in January) and the site founder asked me if Black Panther had deserved to be nominated for Best Picture. I made it clear that not only did the Marvel film deserve to be nominated, but that out of all the nominated films in 2018, it deserved to win. It was my #3 film of that year and was grounded by the amazing performance of it’s lead, the King of Wakanda, Chadwick Boseman.
Boseman died today at the age of 43 after battling Stage III colon cancer for four years. With his passing, the world has lost one of the best working actors in film today. We also lost a man who played so many amazing heroes… and heroes are something the world desperately needs right now.Continue reading “A Hero For Our Time: Remembering Chadwick Boseman”
The Philadelphia basketball team was eliminated today. Their complete mismanagement of such a promising team has led them to this fate. So, as they surely deserve, we quench their candle with a poem.Continue reading “O Woe, O Rapture: Farewell to the Philadelphia 76ers”
It seems like the 2020 election would be the perfect time to shake things up.
For the GOP, there are a vocal and noticeable group of voters looking to separate themselves from President Trump and his policies and rhetoric and stupid face. For the DNC, there is an overwhelming wave of apathy for the Biden/Harris ticket on social media which leaves one to believe that this will be the 800th election in a row where the youth vote chooses to “sit it out”.
This is the perfect time to look third party; someone who can come and unite the disenfranchised and bring people together. Someone who can say, “The two party system has not had your best interest at heart for decades, possibly centuries!” Someone who can bring real change to a nation in dire need of exactly that. And there’s no better party to do so than the Libertarian Party, a political organization which seems to be the right group and the right time.
However, the Libertarian Party has given us Jo Fucking Jorgensen, which means it’s gonna be another election where almost no one is happy.
Don’t worry, though. I can fix everything.Continue reading “Give Me A Libertarian… Wait, No. Give Me Death.”
Perhaps the word ‘love’ is a bit of a stretch. It wasn’t as if I hated the concocted “pre-playoffs” like she was a girlfriend who married the next person they dated after me. The playoffs, COVID-delayed or not, are perpetual. I have only had the woman I dated marry the next person they dated six times, and one of them decided to ‘curve their stick’ and shoot a bit differently, if you know what I mean.
Now the hoopla and fanfare, yes both occurred in the past couple weeks, of both the ‘Round Robin’ and the ‘Pre-Qualifying Round’ has officially exited the ice. Ergo we now have legit playoffs, so let’s take a look at who’s left for the next round. Apparently the NHL has now decided to call the next round the First Round, and I am okay with that. Essentially this means the NHL is now officially smarter than those college guys at the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament (hey remember that? It’s like nostalgia at this point). They convince themselves the play-in games are actually the first round. DUMB.
Did I say “let’s take a look at who’s left?’ I did. Not yet. Just a solid reminder the NHL teams are going nowhere. The Eastern Conference is still playing their games in Toronto at the venerable Scotiabank Arena. The Scotiabank Arena is like the United Center of the North. It’s nice, relatively new, but not a legendary place like Madison Square Garden (which BTW is not a square shape – who knew?). The Western Conference teams are still stuck in Edmonton and play their games at Rogers Place. Same deal. Nice, and kind of like an Olive Garden of arenas… without the breadsticks.
And what teams are not remaining?
Yesterday, Michael Grace came on this website, spreading absolute blasphemy, trying to use science and whatnot to tell the scared, huddled masses that a hot dog is not a sandwich. This kind of elitism will not stand here at Fancy Boys Club. While our name might give you thoughts of men with top hats and monocles, we are actually a very blue collar bunch. We like the simpler things in life. Among those things are an encased tube of various pig parts, cooked well, topped with whatever condiments you can find that aren’t called Ketchup, and we like to eat that hot dog with a domestic beer on a warm, summer day. 10
We are a country that invented everything great, and stole everything we didn’t invent to claim as our own. We are about freedom, drinking, and arguing. But there is one thing there is no arguement for: HOT DOGS ARE A SANDWICH.Continue reading “Yes, A Hot Dog IS a Sandwich: A Rebuttal”