Baddest Athletes Of All Time Draft: Rounds 7 & 8

Baddest Athletes Of All Time Draft: Rounds 7 & 8

As kids, we were all taught about the importance of good sportsmanship. Some kids listened and took those lessons to heart, others just didn’t give a fuck.

Today, we remember those athletes.

The biggest hitters. The best on-field fighters. The players who pushed the boundaries so far it forced their league to change the rules. The players who just ignored the boundaries entirely. The dudes you simply wouldn’t want to fuck with.

In making our list, we only had one rule: we weren’t going to include any athletes where fighting is a primary function of the sport. No boxers, MMA fighters, or wrestlers.

Here are the final rounds (7 & 8) of our draft. For previous rounds, check out: Rounds 1 & 2, Rounds 3 & 4, and Rounds 5 & 6

Continue reading “Baddest Athletes Of All Time Draft: Rounds 7 & 8”

Picking the NBA Team of the Decade, No All-Stars Allowed

Picking the NBA Team of the Decade, No All-Stars Allowed

Back in December, the NBA world was bombarded with content about the team of the decade, like it’s somehow profound to decide that LeBron James, Steph Curry, and Kevin Durant are in fact worthy of that distinction. Great, that’s cool, and I’ve read them all despite redundancy. But what about the guys who worked their ass off all decade long and never made it to the All-Star Game? They’re the real heroes, holding the Association together while the stars tear it apart.

Continue reading “Picking the NBA Team of the Decade, No All-Stars Allowed”

The NBA was not prepared for Temetrius Jamel Morant

The NBA was not prepared for Temetrius Jamel Morant

“Tell that motherfucker about me,” said the rookie point guard. He had just been challenged to take an open three by James Harden, Tuesday night in Memphis. Harden, one of the game’s premier shooters, tried to get into the head of Morant. Instead, he boosted the confidence of a young man who had already proven himself on the big stage. Even in the age where (almost) everyone can shoot the deep ball, where (almost) everyone has some sort of deceptive layup package, the NBA was still not prepared for Ja Morant.

Continue reading “The NBA was not prepared for Temetrius Jamel Morant”

The MLB’s Hot Stove League – The January Report

January’s come in with a select amount of subtlety, but in the MLB it’s been quite the wild whirling dervish of deals and free agent signings. Before I get to what individual team got and still needs, let’s take a trip around the horn and see where the big names landed like a big lake trout on a dish. Trout sounds so good right now.

Garret Cole. OK. Fine. I was wrong. Are you happy I admitted it? I thought for certain he was going to be an Angel, but neigh he decided to become a devil, AKA a Yankee. Curse you Cole!

Stephen Strasburg. I was correct, stuck with the Nationals. Bite me.

Anthony Rendon. The biggest stick in the free agent class went to the Angels. Now he’s paired with Mike Trout (which still sounds good BTW). Good golly that’ll be fun to watch!

Madison Bumgarner – I’m as giddy he didn’t go to the Twins as I am mad he went to the Diamondbacks. C’mon MadBum! Why those desert bums? Why?!

Hyu-Jin Ryu – Left baseball to start a Korean BBQ franchise called Ryu’s Ribs. OK. Fine. He signed with the Blue Jays. Canadians love Koreans, primarily due to the alliteration.

Didi Gregorius – And I was right. He went to the Phillies to re-join Joe Girardi… and to get a cheese steak.

Corey Kluber – once the ace of the Indians staff, he was traded to the Rangers for a sack of beads.

Eric Thames – not quite a huge deal as he signed a 1-year contract with the Nationals, but what’s significant is he is yet another player who doesn’t want to play for the Brew Crew… or he got tired of all that Usinger’s Sausage.

Tommy Pham – good news is the Tampa Rays traded him from a fan base whose median age is 80 to San Diego whose fan base is a youthful 77. Bad news? You have to be a Brown Shirt now, dude.

Rick Porcello – signed with the Mets. All of Boston breathed a huge sigh of relief, and ordered a pie.

Dallas Kuechel – former CY Young award winner who sat out most of last year signed with the White Sox. Fingers crossed he enjoys Sox Park, and deep dish pizza.

And who has yet to find a team?

Continue reading “The MLB’s Hot Stove League – The January Report”

Fancy Boys Football Mailbag: Divisional Round

Fancy Boys Football Mailbag: Divisional Round

Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.

Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.

Continue reading “Fancy Boys Football Mailbag: Divisional Round”

Fancy Boys Football Mailbag: Wild Card Weekend

Fancy Boys Football Mailbag: Wild Card Weekend

Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.

Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.

Continue reading “Fancy Boys Football Mailbag: Wild Card Weekend”

NHL at 50% Report

Hello hockey fans! We’re now sitting – more for some teams, less for others – at the halfway point of the season as the Avalanche, my yard marker team, has just played their 41st game. They beat the pants off the Western Conference-leading St. Louis Blues, BTW. A 7-3 iceberg crasher.

I’ll try to build upon the Tirty Tree and a Tird Percentage report and see where how our playoff teams would be set up if we were to end the season right now.

Eastern Conference

OK, let’s toss a wrench in this. Before we actually look at current playoff teams, let’s cut out the ones that – unless there’s a huge ice floe having never occurred before in this league – have no chance of making the playoffs. Buh-bye any teams under 40 points for the season: Ottawa, New Jersey and the team that, if there were such a thing as being bumped into a lesser league ought to be – the Detroit Red Wings. Good Lord of the two-line pass they are awful. Normally a team stands a chance of making the playoffs if they can get to 90 points. At the 50% mark, the Dead Wings are at 23 points. Historically awful.

On to the playoff-making teams. Last time we checked in, the Eastern Conference playoff teams at the third mark stood at: Washington Capitals, Boston Bruins, New York Islanders, Philadelphia Flyers, Pittsburgh Penguins, Carolina Hurricanes, Florida Panthers and the Buffalo Sabres.

Well, hockey fans, let me tell you, at the halfway point the Easter Conference leaders are:

Continue reading “NHL at 50% Report”

FANCY BOYS FOOTBALL MAILBAG: WEEK 17

FANCY BOYS FOOTBALL MAILBAG: WEEK 17

Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.

Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.

Continue reading “FANCY BOYS FOOTBALL MAILBAG: WEEK 17”

You All Need To Get On The NBA Twitter Feed Right Damn Now!!!

I am not normally one to freak out and post Buzzfeed-esque articles. If you like my writing, it means you like excessive prose. After all, why use 200 words when you can use 2,500, many of which incorrectly?

But the NBA twitter account is on fucking fire right now, and I needed you to know that right now.

Continue reading “You All Need To Get On The NBA Twitter Feed Right Damn Now!!!”