The Utah basketball team was eliminated today. They fell in the decisive seventh game, conceding their 3-1 advantage in the series. We send them off into obscurity, flame cast out, with a poem.
Continue reading “Rust and Revelry: Farewell to the Utah Jazz”Every morning I wake up with a different song in my head. Not sure why and I don’t think I need to seek the guidance of a psychiatrist or a swami to figure it out. There’s no rhyme or reason to it, but sometimes it fits.
Today it’s No Man’s Land by Bob Seger. For the NBA and its players, running out the string of playoff games in Orlando? The severely-under rated No Man’s Land fits like a Steve Kerr tweet about the POTUS.
We have a Game 7. Everything on the line, no holds barred, blah blah blah. Yes, Game 7s are special as they’re about a combination of frenzy and adoration. Most professional athletes live for the adrenaline a Game 7 brings forth out of their collective minds and bodies. But they also desire the adoration, and that’s what’s missing – an SRO crowd of fans foaming at the mouth pushing their stars to a greater level toward victory with their cheers or opponent humiliation with their jeers.
Let’s set the typical Game 7 scene for a moment.
The Dallas basketball team was eliminated. Led by the prodigious, meteoric Luka Doncic, the Mavs gave the Clippers a true first round scare. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be completed. We honor the fallen and quench their flame with a poem.
Continue reading “This Sacred Rite: Farewell to the Dallas Mavericks”
The Portland basketball team was eliminated today. Though they won the thrilling, first-ever play-in tournament, they ultimately fell to the almighty Lakers. We honor them, quench their candle, and pledge our undying fealty to Damian Lillard’s 2019-20 season with a poem.
Continue reading “Be Thankful I Am Through: Farewell to the Portland Trail Blazers”
The Orlando basketball team was eliminated today. They stood up to a Greek (hoops) God and said “not today, but the next four, sure”. In honor of the Magic missing the lottery to be a speed bump for the Bucks, we quench their flame with a poem.
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Following yet another police shooting of an unarmed black man, this time in Wisconsin, chaos broke out in Kenosha. A 17-year old white man terrorist who crossed over from Illinois killed two people, wounding another. The city, a little north of halfway between Chicago and Milwaukee, is the latest epicenter of the tension in our country. At 4:00 pm, the Milwaukee Bucks and Orlando Magic were scheduled to play game five of their series. The Magic players were on the court for their pregame shoot around when they abruptly left. The Bucks had called a meeting. They decided not to play, in protest. Formally, it would be deemed a forfeit. The Magic then left, not accepting that result. The NBA season is once again halted, and this time it may be for good.
The Indiana basketball team was eliminated today. It is a franchise that, for better or worse, that embodies the term “above average”. We quench their candle’s light with a poem.
Continue reading “To Dream of Icarus: Farewell to the Indiana Pacers”
The Brooklyn basketball team was eliminated today. Though they were without their biggest stars, they fought to the bitter end. We extinguish their flame for now, with a poem.
Continue reading “We Have Shown Ourselves True: Farewell to the Brooklyn Nets”
“It seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind
never knowing who to cling to when the rain set in”
Elton John, Candle In The Wind
Greetings, True Believers! We have, at last, arrived in mid-April August. The NBA Playoffs are here, and with them comes the misery of fifteen eliminations. Gradually over the next six weeks, the character and will of our greatest heroes will be tested. No matter if a team is swept in the first round or lose the Finals in triple overtime of the seventh game, they deserve tribute.
For the last decade, I have taken the time to give each team that fails to make the Finals their due respect, a rite my friends and I have come to call Candling- blaring Elton John’s anthem to Marilyn Monroe as another team’s light is quenched. For most of the basketball world, a team is eliminated and instantly forgotten, just a stepping stone for someone better. Not in my eyes. These playoffs, rather than documenting the great achievements of the winners, I will be your guide as we pay tribute to the most necessary party in sports- the losers.
Perhaps the word ‘love’ is a bit of a stretch. It wasn’t as if I hated the concocted “pre-playoffs” like she was a girlfriend who married the next person they dated after me. The playoffs, COVID-delayed or not, are perpetual. I have only had the woman I dated marry the next person they dated six times, and one of them decided to ‘curve their stick’ and shoot a bit differently, if you know what I mean.
Now the hoopla and fanfare, yes both occurred in the past couple weeks, of both the ‘Round Robin’ and the ‘Pre-Qualifying Round’ has officially exited the ice. Ergo we now have legit playoffs, so let’s take a look at who’s left for the next round. Apparently the NHL has now decided to call the next round the First Round, and I am okay with that. Essentially this means the NHL is now officially smarter than those college guys at the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament (hey remember that? It’s like nostalgia at this point). They convince themselves the play-in games are actually the first round. DUMB.
Did I say “let’s take a look at who’s left?’ I did. Not yet. Just a solid reminder the NHL teams are going nowhere. The Eastern Conference is still playing their games in Toronto at the venerable Scotiabank Arena. The Scotiabank Arena is like the United Center of the North. It’s nice, relatively new, but not a legendary place like Madison Square Garden (which BTW is not a square shape – who knew?). The Western Conference teams are still stuck in Edmonton and play their games at Rogers Place. Same deal. Nice, and kind of like an Olive Garden of arenas… without the breadsticks.
And what teams are not remaining?
Fancy Boys Club 