The LA basketball team was eliminated today. They took a 3-1 lead on the Denver Nuggets, only to crumble and make it 50 years without a conference finals appearance. We quench their flame with a poem.
Continue reading “An American Comedy: Farewell to the LA Clippers”
Week 1 of the NFL season is in the books and what a week it was. Aaron Rodgers is pissed at his team and probably going to win an MVP this year as a result. The Browns are Brownsing once again, the Lions have already proven that everyone who predicted them to be a surprise team in the NFC is an idiot who should be fired, and the NFC East is being led by a team without a name. Let’s break down the winners and losers from week 1 of the NFL season.
Kansas City Chiefs
Buffalo Bills
New England Patriots
Baltimore Ravens
Jacksonville Jaguars
Washington Misogynists
Chicago Bears
Green Bay Packers
Seattle Seahawks
Las Vegas Raiders
Los Angeles Chargers
Arizona Cardinals
New Orleans Saints
Los Angeles Rams
Pittsburgh Steelers
Tennessee Titans
Houston Texans
New York Jets
Miami Dolphins
Cleveland Browns
Indianapolis Colts
Philadelphia Eagles
Detroit Lions
Minnesota Vikings
Atlanta Falcons
Carolina Panthers
Cincinnati Bengals
San Francisco 49ers
Tampa Brady Buccaneers
Dallas Cowboys
New York Giants
Denver Broncos
Week 1 of the NFL season is in the books. Matt Drufke has questions. Fancy Boys Football experts Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker have answers. Let’s mailbag.
Continue reading “Fancy Boys Football: Week 1 Mailbag”
If you know me well, you know i’m a sports fanatic. It’s in my blood. It’s tattooed on my body. I love to watch it. I love to talk about it. I love to read about it. I love to write about it. I really love to write about it. Almost nobody read me last year, but that didn’t mean I didn’t write tens of thousands of words each week across a couple websites. It gave me an excuse to watch football every week and espouse my football virtures on the internets. Then it almost didn’t happen this year.
Continue reading “Fancy Boys Club NFL Power Rankings Week 2”
The Houston basketball team was eliminated today. They were victims of their own design, struggling to overcome their lack of size. When the shots wouldn’t fall, they ultimately did, to the mighty Lakers. We put out their flame with a poem.
Continue reading “Requiem for the Shore: Farewell to the Houston Rockets”
The Toronto basketball team was eliminated today. They looked to be legitimate contenders for the Eastern Conference championship, but ultimately fell six wins short. We end their title defense and quench their flame with a poem.
Continue reading “From Whence Ye Came: Farewell to the Toronto Raptors”
As someone who grew up in the 1990’s, the Jock Jams series of songs were everywhere in my life. I heard them at sporting events- like, all sporting events. I heard them at junior high and high school dances. I heard wedding parties use them to as introduction music. They were everywhere.
And even though some of the songs weren’t great, or even very good, there is something about these massive ESPN-produced mixtapes (all released under the Tommy Boy Music label) that just feels fun. That being said, why just enjoy nostalgia when you can, instead, over-analyze and use math to suck out all the fun of these songs so you can rank which Jock Jams album is the best one?
Hey, everyone… let’s get ready to rumble.
Continue reading “The Jock Jams Compilations, Ranked (Y’all Ready For This?)”
The Milwaukee basketball team was eliminated today. They came into the playoffs as a favorite to win the title or at least make the Finals. Alas, they were exorcised into the hoops afterlife by the Miami Heat. We give them more than they deserve and honor their final loss with a poem.
Continue reading “Tawdry, Paper Mountains: Farewell to the Milwaukee Bucks”
Football season is back! Or at least it will be pending some kind of COVID or other 2020 apocalyptic type disaster. To help you get ready for the season, we’re bringing the mailbag back. As always, Football novice Matt Drufke has the questions and so-called experts Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker have the answers.
Continue reading “Fancy Boys Football: Preseason Mailbag”
The Oklahoma City basketball team was eliminated today. They began the season with a near-zero chance of making the playoffs. They came one win away from making the second round. We salute the fallen, quench their flame, and send them off with a poem.
Continue reading “Carthage In A Day: Farewell to the Oklahoma City Thunder”
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