Yes. That guy is fucking racist.
The answer to the question of Matt Walsh’s new movie, “Am I Racist”? (WARNING: Spoilers)
Category: Music/Movies
Love Never Dies and Neither Does IP: A review of The Crow Franchise
Be still my elder millennial goth little heart, black as a coffee in the smoking section of Denny’s at 2am, they finally did it.
They rebooted The Crow.
Continue reading “Love Never Dies and Neither Does IP: A review of The Crow Franchise”So You Don’t Have To: A Limp Bizkit Concert
Everything feels vaguely off. It’s not the mind altering drugs. It’s not the fact that I’d competed in two hot sauce eating conversations during the afternoon. It was because everyone around me looked like they had been arrested at some point for stealing Catalytic Converters.
No, I wasn’t at a penal colony. Or a job fair for Port-A-John workers, or a Kid Rock cruise. I was at a Limp Bizkit concert. Desperately trying to figure out how I got there, and spastically trying to figure out how to leave if all the cans of Zyn go empty in this joint.
Continue reading “So You Don’t Have To: A Limp Bizkit Concert”Paddington In Peru: The Trailer Breakdown
Last week, we were lucky enough to get the trailer for Paddington In Peru, the third film in the PCU (Paddington Cinematic Universe). With a November 24th UK release date (January 7th for us unlucky souls in the United States), there hasn’t been a more anticipated movie ever. That is not hyperbole.
Paddington 2 is the third best sequel of all time, only behind The Godfather Part 2 and The Empire Strikes Back. As mentioned on this site, P2 usurped Citizen Kane to become the film with the highest-ever Rotten Tomatoes score of all time. With the first Paddington film, Paul King gave us an amazing and beautiful (plus very funny) story and the second film blows the first one away. To call Paddington 2 a great film would be an insult… it’s a goddamn fucking masterpiece.
Continue reading “Paddington In Peru: The Trailer Breakdown”A true actor’s director: A review of Hit Man plus a ranking of Richard Linklater
Of the indie directors to come out of the 1990’s, Richard Linklater might be the hardest to attach a label to. He doesn’t have Steven Soderbergh’s visual style or Quentin Tarantino’s inventive storytelling skills or even Kevin Smith’s ability to write a great scene. But, if there was any director from this class I think I would like working with if I was an actor, it would be Linklater. Because the man is a true and selfless collaborator.
In his great movies, of which there are many, the Texas filmmaker works hand in hand with his onscreen talent to create the best possible product. In many of Linklater’s films, the actor has a screenwriting credit, which shows you exactly how much he wants the input of his talent. And then there is Boyhood, in which he worked with his three principal actors over the course of a dozen years to truly show the experience of growing up.
Continue reading “A true actor’s director: A review of Hit Man plus a ranking of Richard Linklater”The Drake/Kendrick Lamar Feud- UPDATE- Drake may be the dumbest person alive…
Last night, after a full day of watching people respond to Kendrick Lamar’s allegations that he was a pedophile running a child trafficking ring out of his mansion, Aubrey Graham (better known to the world as Drake) finally responded. Look, I’ve never been in a feud with Kendrick Lamar. And I’ve never been accused of, by all accounts, the worst crime a person can be accused of. So I’m not going to pretend I have any idea what was running through Graham’s head as I sure he was doom-scrolling social media reading about himself.
His response came in the track “The Heart Part 6”, a reference to a series of songs Lamar has released. And as far as responses go…
It’s really stupid.
Continue reading “The Drake/Kendrick Lamar Feud- UPDATE- Drake may be the dumbest person alive…”
Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake: A (not-so) brief breakdown of music’s biggest story
Unless you don’t care about popular music at all, you have certainly heard about the feud going on between rap stars Drake and Kendrick Lamar. When the new Taylor Swift album dropped last week, I didn’t think anything would be strong enough to knock the spotlight off of The Tortured Poets Department, but I was wrong and wrong in a big way. For the time being, there is no Tortured Poets, there are two poets out there trying to aggressively torture each other.
But, exactly what is going on?
Continue reading “Kendrick Lamar vs. Drake: A (not-so) brief breakdown of music’s biggest story”The Swiftening, Part 11: The Tortured Poets Department- The Uncomfortable Writers Depot
Before December of 2020, Jordan Holmes (comedian, author, podcaster) had never, intentionally, listened to a Taylor Swift song. Then began The Swiftening, where Jordan decided to review every Swift album in order. So far, he has covered Swift’s 2006 debut, 2008’s Fearless, 2010’s Speak Now, and 2012‘s Red, 2014’s 1989, 2017’s reputation, 2019’s Lover, and 2020’s folklore and evermore, which we encourage you to check out if you haven’t already.
Back again, as we all knew I would be, the allure of hating cannot be denied. I rarely finish what I begin, and I doubt I will follow her career, alleging talentless desperation after every release, but today, today is… today and I hate.
Continue reading “The Swiftening, Part 11: The Tortured Poets Department- The Uncomfortable Writers Depot”A Woman In-Between Eras: Examining The Tortured Poets Department
To open The Tortured Poets Department, her twelfth album (and fourth in five years), Taylor Swift gives us “Fortnight”. Swift and longtime producer Jack Antonoff give us a song that sonically feels in place with the catalog of Lana Del Rey (unsurprising, considering Antonoff also produces some of her music) as the thirty-four year old singer gives us the story of a woman dealing with a relationship gone way too wrong and delving into alcohol and thoughts of violence to her man’s new wife. “I loved you, it’s ruining my life,” Swift sings in a track that feels like something her and Antonoff could do in their sleep. It’s a good track, and Swiftboats (my term for Swift fans, many of whom have long since forgotten about John Kerry) will love it because it’s the kind of song they’ve heard and loved and sung along to before. It’s a very solid Taylor Swift song.
And that’s why it’s a little underwhelming.
Continue reading “A Woman In-Between Eras: Examining The Tortured Poets Department”FBC 2024 Oscars Coverage, part XI: The Secondsies! Plus, final prediction tallies
Most years, I do a column about who the Oscar nominees should be, and that is always fun for me, mainly because it allows me to feel smart and smug and self-righteous. But, you know what? In 2023, the Academy did a pretty good job picking the nominees. I don’t agree with all of them, but I’m onboard with most. So, I gave myself a challenge: Could I pick a slate of films and performances who deserved to be nominated while excluding all of those who were?
Like that, The Secondsies were born.
There is only one rule for The Secondsies. Anyone who is nominated for an Oscar in their category is ineligible to be nominated. This is a nice way to make sure that not just the obvious snubs got mentioned, but also to include some deserving nominees who never had a chance. I’ll present the nominees for The Secondsies and then end my Oscars prediction recap.
Let’s get re-nominating!
Continue reading “FBC 2024 Oscars Coverage, part XI: The Secondsies! Plus, final prediction tallies”
Fancy Boys Club 