Brandon Andreasen

Fancy Boys Club Presents This Week In Football: Week Four

September 25, 2025September 24, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Every week during the NFL season, FBC co-founder Brandon Andreasen takes a look at the NFL and makes fun of a bunch of teams and players and bets to make him feel better about the fact that he roots for the Chicago Bears and is such a degenerate gambler, he is probably betting on Korean Table Tennis at this very moment.

The Pregame Show

It’s going to be a long winter for Chicago sports fans. It is completely on the Bears to put together a winning streak to give us all something to root for. The Cubs are actively sabotaging themselves on a Wile E. Coyote level. They are hitting the playoffs like a brick wall with the road painted onto it. The White Sox actually improved from historically atrocious to merely really bad. The Blackhawks had all of the free agent money in the world to spend on a couple star players. They chose to sit around, playing with themselves, like that weird kid in the back of class, instead.

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NFL, Sports

Fancy Boys Club Presents This Week In Football: Week Three

September 18, 2025September 17, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

The Pregame Show

I’ve officially outgrown my ability to play in a dozen fantasy football leagues every season. Not outgrown as in size, though i’m quite rotund. Just outgrown in terms of life responsibilities. This actually goes for my gambling prowess, as well. I remember last year I was so hot betting on football, I felt like i’d been shot out of a cannon. I hit some massive early season bets that carried me throughout the season. This year, though? I feel like a fat toddler hopelessly throwing ping pong balls at gold fish bowls at some third rate carnival that smells like Burning Man.

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NFL, Sports

Fancy Boys Club Presents This Week In Football: Week One

September 4, 2025September 4, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

The Pregame Show

Welcome back to the NFL season, my friends! The long, hot summer is over, giving way to the crackling winds and your most obnoxious friends on social media who claim that summer sucks and that we should all be enjoying fall, or as I call it, practice winter. While they are mostly just saying it because they want to be able to justify wearing hoodies everywhere, I’m excited because football season is back, which drags me out of my yearly writing funk so I can be pithy and mean about everyone’s favorite vehicle for Kansas City Chiefs hatred.

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Pop Culture, television

Every Episode of King of the Hill, Ranked

August 1, 2025by Brandon Andreasen1 Comment

King of the Hill is one of the most beloved shows in television history. A show that never went over the top, never lost it’s believability, and built characters that had a shelf life long before the initial run of the series. While many shows (looking in your direction, Simpsons) lost their way after obliterating every plot twist and premise possible, King of the Hill never felt out of place. It was always that cozy blanket or perfectly worn in shirt in the form of a Sunday night animated show.

The sophmore effort of legendary writer/producer Mike Judge, KOTH feels completely different than his first show, Beavis and Butthead. Even as different though as the shows felt, they felt like they existed in the same time and place. Judge tends to keep the shows he makes as slightly askew versions of the world he grew up in and lives in. Tom Anderson from Beavis and Butthead could very easily by Hank Hill’s actual father. Dale Gribble is what happened when you gave Beavis the internet.

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Reality TV, Sports, television, Wrestling

Hulk Hogan: 1953-2025

July 24, 2025July 24, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Ask any non-wrestling fan to name a wrestler. They might say The Rock. They could say John Cena or Randy Savage. If they are particularly big fans of the cinematic classic Roadhouse, they might even say Terry Funk.

Odds are, though, the first name they utter will be the driving force behind moving wrestling from a niche hobby to a worldwide phenomenon. The name they say will be synonymous with vitamins, America, and later on in life, reality TV, racism, and easy to fact check lies.

That is because, when you ask people about wrestling, the most likely person they know is Hulk Hogan.

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NFL, Sports

Fancy Boys Club NFL Mock Draft 2.0

April 24, 2025April 24, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Congrats, my football loving friends. We have finally hit the end of the football season. The churn of the 2024 NFL season, playoffs, Super Bowl, free agency and now NFL draft are over. After this weekend, we can take a collective break and catch up with friends and family, or much more likely, gamble on playoff basketball and baseball. AND, if you are as big of a degenerate as me, gamble on Korean ping pong at 3am.

For now though, all focus brings us to Green Bay, where the NFL will be taking place on Thursday (first round), Friday (second and third round), and Saturday (rounds 4-7).

This year’s draft class is considered one of the worst in recent memory, at least in terms of projections towards the future. The first few picks seem pretty well solidified, and there is not a generational quarterback in the draft that would get people excited, or teams willing to mortgage years worth of draft picks to get a transcendent star. What the draft lacks in star power though, it makes up for in sheer “someone is going to do something really stupid” excitement.

As we stand right now, this is the latest the draft has gone without a first round pick being traded. I’m predicting this doesn’t last. The Giants are trying to trade out of their pick so they can justify drafting a quarterback a little later. The Jaguars have always been a team that comes from left field with their picks. The Raiders always find a way to screw it up.

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Fancy Boys Club Drafts, NFL, Sports

Fancy Boys Club NFL Mock Draft Version 1.0

March 4, 2025March 3, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

There is no offseason in the NFL. There is PLENTY of offseason for me. The last time I wrote, Bill Belichick was still pretending that he was an NFL coaching candidate, the Chiefs felt inevitable, and people merely assumed Myles Garrett wanted out of Cleveland. But there is no offseason for the NFL. Before the hangover of the Philadelphia Eagles’ Super Bowl win had fully cleared, teams were assembling last weekend in Indianapolis for the NFL Draft Combine, where all of the best college players (except the ones who are too good to do drills) came to get judged based on their ability to jump, run in a straight line, and pretend that they want to be drafted by the New York Giants.

In an effort to be more like every other sports website, I’ve taken on the task of entering the 1,702,344th 2025 NFL Mock Draft into the universe. The difference between this and so many others you will read? This one is totally serious. I’ll be including projected trades, and will definitely take team competence into mind when making these picks. So without further adieu, let’s slap this donkey.

1st Pick: Shedeur Sanders, QB, New York Giants

The Giants trade with the Titans to get to the top of the draft to draft the best quarterback in the draft, then proceed to draft the second best quarterback in the draft. In order to do so, the Giants trade the number three pick this year, their first round pick next year, and John Mara offers up either one of his granddaughters, actresses Rooney and Kate Mara to dead Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams, in some afterlife version of the movie Indecent Proposal.

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NFL, Sports

Who Will Be The Next Chicago Bears Coach?

December 7, 2024December 6, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

~~After another disappointing season in 2023, the Chicago Bears have fired head coach Matt Eberflus.~~

After disasterous play calling at the end of the Washington Commanders game, the Bears have fired Matt Eberflus in an unprecedented move, with the team still at 4-3 and very much in contention in the NFC.

~~After a second no-show act by his team in an unquestionably embarrassing loss to the New England Patriots, the Bears have relieved Matt Eberflus of his duties as head coach.~~

~~Bad end of game play calling and an opposing special teams purportedly knowing exactly what needed to be done to block a kick has finally undone Matt Eberflus as Bears coach.~~

Oh, now you are gonna do it? All it took was an open rebellion by the defense after one of the most obvious and mystifying time management mistakes in NFL history, that of which’s history books have already been rewritten at least twice this season by the very same coach has caused Matt Eberflus to get fired so he can spend more time with his bees?

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Music/Movies, Pop Culture

So You Don’t Have To: A Limp Bizkit Concert

July 21, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Everything feels vaguely off. It’s not the mind altering drugs. It’s not the fact that I’d competed in two hot sauce eating conversations during the afternoon. It was because everyone around me looked like they had been arrested at some point for stealing Catalytic Converters.

No, I wasn’t at a penal colony. Or a job fair for Port-A-John workers, or a Kid Rock cruise. I was at a Limp Bizkit concert. Desperately trying to figure out how I got there, and spastically trying to figure out how to leave if all the cans of Zyn go empty in this joint.

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food

So You Don’t Have To: The McDonalds Kit Kat Banana Split McFlurry

July 11, 2024July 10, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Ice cream packed with candy bars is an age old tradition. Like baseball. Or Kendrick Lamar ending beefs heroically. And much like Kendrick dropping “Not Like Us” on the Fourth of July, another great American experience has dropped around Independence Day.

I can’t help myself. As a fat, some things just tend to jump out at me. So when I saw the press release for the new frozen concoction from McDonalds, I was immediately intrigued. Dropped on 7/10, the Kit Kat Banana Split McFlurry is a mad libs experiment in things that McDonalds has decided they can get away with dumping into ice cream and having people enjoy. Did I enjoy it? Let’s find out.

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