FBC 2023 Oscar Coverage, Part IV: What the nominees SHOULD be (but most definitely won’t)

So here we are, eight days away from the announcement of the Oscar nominations, and that’s gonna be a lot of fun for me. I’ll get to my predictions a week from today. But first, instead of writing about what the Academy is going to screw up, I thought I would talk about what would happen if there was one lone member of the Academy: me. I will be giving my nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, the four acting categories, the two screenwriting categories, and Best Animated Feature. Though, let it be said here and now: I would have nominated Jackass Forever for Best Documentary Feature.

This would be my 2023 Oscars ballot. It is perfect. Come @ me, you film nerds:

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Best Picture

Aftersun
Everything Everywhere All At Once
The Fablemans
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
Kimi
Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
RRR
Three Thousand Years Of Longing
Top Gun: Maverick
Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

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Best Director

Joseph Kosinski, Top Gun: Maverick
Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All At Once
S.S. Rajamouli, RRR
Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans
Charlotte Wells, Aftersun

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Best Actor

Nicolas Cage, The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent
Jon Hamm, Confess, Fletch
Tom Cruise, Top Gun: Maverick
Colin Farrell, The Banshees Of Inisherin
Paul Mescal, Aftersun

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Best Actress

Cate Blanchett, Tár
Zöe Kravitz, Kimi
Amber Midthunder, Prey
Aubrey Plaza, Emily The Criminal
Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All At Once

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Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale, Thor: Love And Thunder
Paul Dano, The Fablemans
Brendan Gleeson, The Banshees Of Inisherin
Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All At Once
Pedro Pascal, The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent

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Best Supporting Actress

Frankie Corio, Aftersun
Annie Mumolo, Confess, Fletch
Isabella Rosellini, Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
Michelle Williams, The Fablemans
Evan Rachel Wood, Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

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Best Original Screenplay

Aftersun
Everything Everywhere All At Once
The Fabelmans
Kimi
The Banshees Of Inisherin

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Best Adapted Screenplay

Beavis & Butthead Do The Universe
Confess, Fletch
Knives Out: A Glass Onion Mystery
Three Thousand Years Of Longing
Top Gun: Maverick

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Best Animated Feature

Beavis & Butthead Do The Universe
Chip ‘N Dale: Rescue Rangers
Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio
Marcel The Shell With Shoes On
Turning Red