Cry Like A Man

Here’s something that’s not so secret about me: I’m a crier. Not like a town crier; It’s not a profession or anything. The British aren’t coming. I mean, who knows? Maybe they are, but I wouldn’t be the person to tell you.

Let’s start over.

For always and ever, I’ve been a very emotional person, and that means I cry a whole lot. I don’t just cry at movies, I cry at PREVIEWS. If your new movie trailer has Kevin Costner in it and he’s saying some bullshit like, “We’re family, and that means we stick together,” I’m aggressively weeping in the theater. One time, I was crying so hard at the movies that a woman a few rows in front of me turned around and asked me if I was alright.

Man, there’s nothing better than a good movie cry. Unless you’re sitting next to me. Both my wife and son will often mock the fact that, for example, I cried pretty much through the last third of Coco. And while we’re talking about Pixar, if I ever find the teens who laughed at me while I was crying into my 3D glasses during Toy Story 3, I will… well, let’s face it. I’ll probably do nothing. What am I gonna do? Get in a fight? That seems a bit much.

Obviously, it’s not just movies. I cry at work. I cry at home. I cry in the car. I cried when Joe Biden was elected and when Hillary Clinton wasn’t. I cried when my sons were born and when my ex-wife told me she wanted to get a divorce. I cried when staring into the beauty of the Grand Canyon upon sunrise. Just this morning, I cried while walking the dog and I’m not really sure why. Crying is just, seemingly my default setting.

And I’d like to say that I’m ok with it. But I’m really not. It’s ok, though.

I blame you.


Right off the bat, let me say that this is an article about normalizing it being ok for men to cry. However, in order to do that, we need to have the concept of men expressing emotions not just be a punchline whenever we’re looking for a cheap laugh. So, while I’m fully onboard with this cause, I also understand that when it comes to this subject, I am a giant hypocrite. And you just have to look at my twitter, where I include tweets like this…

…and this…

…and this…

…and the NINETEEN other tweets I found that were just me jokes about CRYING AT WORK.

So, yeah… change starts with me.


I’m not sure what set me off (or “triggered”, if you will) thinking about this. I guess part of it is that I’ve seen a lot of stories making fun of conservatives crying. Someone on Facebook posted an article where Brad Parscale was reported to be weeping when he got arrested, and there was another article where the entire point seemed to be, “Hey! Look at this GOP dork crying about Trump!”

I didn’t like the tone of derision and mockery coming from the left at these people. It seemed too cruel. Besides, aren’t we supposed to be the political party of empathy and understanding feelings?

Do you know what meme I never understood? I’m not going to post it, but just describing it should let you know what I’m talking about. It’s the picture of the young person who’s kind of cry-screaming and there’s usually the word “TRIGGERED” underneath. I think it comes from someone reacting to the fact that Hillary Clinton won.

But shouldn’t that be normal behavior? Don’t we want people to be passionate about things, especially politics? Wouldn’t we rather have people be upset to the point of tears as opposed to just having a nonchalant, apathetic response.

I guess it’s fun to mock “liberal tears”… and that’s kind of the problem.


Look… here’s what I’m trying to say.

It’s fucking 2020, and we need to make it ok for guys to cry. We need to make it ok for men to teach their sons to cry. You want to start changing the culture of toxic masculinity? This seems like a good first step.

Am I saying this because I cry a lot, probably too much, and my hope is that a shift in culture will make me feel better about myself? Fucking of course, you nerd! This is entirely selfish, and I’m just trying to make it seem like I’m selflessly doing this for the culture as a way to have people stop laughing at me while I’m crying. Because that sucks. It makes me cry more.

So, come on… let’s all be better. Or else I’ll just have to keep tweeting.

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