March Fatness: A Deep Dive into the Elite Eight

Starting three weeks ago, March Fatness was our way to determine the best fast food item available. Our staff put together what they felt was the best bracket. At this point, eight items remain. Let’s take a look at who they are and how they got there.


The Heart Attack Region (Tuesday)

Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich

Seed In Region: #1
Calories: 699
Path To Elite 8: Beat (16) KFC Coleslaw in first round, (8) Arby’s Beef & Cheddar in second round, and faced it’s first true challenge when it beat (4) Wendy’s Baconator in Sweet 16. Not only is Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich the overall #1 seed, it is the only #1 seed remaining in the tournament.

Chipotle Burrito Bowl

Seed In Region: #3
Calories: 510
Path To Elite 8: Knocked out (14) McDonald’s Buttermilk Chicken Sandwich in round 1, toppled (11) Taco Bell’s Breakfast Crunchwrap in round 2, and overcame (7) Wendy’s Double Stack in the Sweet 16. The Burrito Bowl had an interesting path to the Elite 8, as the last two opponents it faced each pulled off a major upset the round prior. Some would say this paved the way for easier match-ups.


The Liver Failure Region (Wednesday)

Burger King Whopper

Seed In Region: #2
Calories: 677
Path To Elite 8: The Whopper showed why it’s a classic fast food item, rolling over every competitor handily. It smoked the (15) Whataburger Sweet & Spicy Bacon Burger in the first round, knocked out (7) Wendy’s Spicy Nuggets in round 2, and smacked down (6) Taco Bell’s Spicy Potato Soft Taco in the Sweet 16.

Portillo’s Hot Dog

Seed In Region: #4
Calories: 340
Path To Elite 8: There was no food the Portillo’s Hot Dog couldn’t best. It knocked out (13) Cici’s Mac & Cheese Pizza in the first round, ate (5) McDonald’s McGriddle for breakfast in round 2, and outlasted (8) Taco Bell’s Nacho Bell Grande in the Sweet 16.


The Heart Attack Region (Thursday)

Culver’s Double Cheddar Butterburger

Seed In Region: #3
Calories: 590
Path To Elite 8: Though a #3 seed, the Double Cheddar Butterburger is, to some, a surprise in how far it’s come. It won over (14) McDonald’s Cheeseburger in round one, knocked out (11) Arby’s Jamocha Shake in the second round, and upset (2) Panera’s Broccoli Cheddar Bread Bowl in the Sweet 16.

Dairy Queen Blizzard

Seed In Region: 13
Calories: 620
Path To Elite 8: The Blizzard has come out of nowhere to be in the Elite 8, upsetting all contenders. It made quick work out of (4) McDonald’s Egg McMuffin, slaughtered (5) Carl Jr’s Double Cheeseburger, and knocked out (1) Arby’s Curly Fries. Is there any item the Blizzard cannot tame?


The High Cholesterol Region (Friday)

Wendy’s Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Seed In Region: #2
Calories: 510
Path To Elite 8: The Spicy Chicken Sandwich showed why it was a #2 seed, making quick work out of it’s competition. It dominated (15) Burger King’s Chicken Fries in round 1, rolled over (7) Jimmy John’s Gargantuan in the second round, and made quick work out of (3) Culver’s Chocolate Cake Shake.

Culver’s Cheese Curds

Seed In Region: #8
Calories: 510
Path To Elite 8: Cheese Curds showed they were the real deal, knocking out (9) Krisy Kreme Doughnut in the first round, majorly upsetting (1) McDonald’s Chicken Sandwich in the second round, and barely beating (5) Wendy’s Frosty in the Sweet 16.


So, there we have it. Voting for the Elite 8 begins Tuesday at 10 AM CST. For the first time, we are allowing voting on both Facebook and Twitter, meaning you could vote twice if you follow us on both of those. Let’s pick a champion, kids.

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