Fancy Boys Week 1 NFL Mailbag

Fancy Boys founder Matt Drufke doesn’t know anything about football. Lucky for him, Brandon Andreasen and Jack Baker do.

Each week, Matt emails Brandon and Jack NFL questions, they then immediately go and make fun of his lack of knowledge in a secret group chat. They then go and answer the questions. Here are those answers.

Let’s start with Thursday night’s game. Was the Bears-Packers game a bad game or are both defenses really good?

Brandon – It’s probably a bit of both. The Packers spent heavily on the defense this past offseason and it showed. They signed Preston and Zadarius Smith to big contracts and they had, just the two of them, 25% as many pressures on the quarterback as the entire Packers defense had all of last season.

The glimmer of hope is that the Bears, in their first game in a new defense, gave up 10 points to the most talented QB of his generation, and they needed a blown coverage on a deep ball for seven of those points.

Its worth noting that Roy Robertson-Harris, the only Bear to play extensively in the pre season, looked like the best player on the field that night.

Jack – Gotta agree with Brandon on this one. Both defenses played really well, but the game was also a slog. 17 punts is 13 too many for a modern NFL game.

Both offensive lines played terribly, and when that happens, it’s always going to make for ugly football. Trubisky and Rodgers were both sacked five times and faced constant pressure the whole game. Neither line could open up holes for their running backs, except for that brief moment in the first half when it looked like the Bears might actually commit to the running game. Offensive lines are usually the units that take the longest time to gel, so hopefully they get it together soon, or the NFC North will feature a lot of unwatchable games this year.

In his preseason look at the Bears, Jack told us that he thought the offense would be better. But, in Friday’s wrap-up coverage, he referred to the offensive as “struggling” and “out-coached.” Can this offense improve or are the Bears, to overuse a quote, what we thought they were?

Brandon – Not to latch on with the giardiniera stained masses, but that was an offense that looked like it hadn’t played a single snap in the preseason. The play calling was atrocious. Matt Nagy deserves blame. He got too cute, too often. His short yardage play calling was abysmal.

Jack – Here’s what the Bears need to do improve: run the ball with David Montgomery. That’s it. Establishing the run will open up all the options and gadget plays that Nagy wants to run. Montgomery simply needs to have more carries than the one he had in the second half of the loss to the Packers. Giving Cohen the ball more than 0 times should help too.

The biggest news of Week 1 was Antonio Brown signing with the Patriots minutes after being released from Oakland. They certainly didn’t need his help when they demolished the Steelers 33-3. With receiving targets in Edelman, Dorsett, and a big play threat already in Josh Gordon, what is Brown’s role on this team? And should the rest of the AFC just quit and let the Patriots rest until the Super Bowl?

Jack – Brown’s role will be similar to the one Randy Moss occupied when he also ditched the wasteland of the Oakland Raiders for the juggernaut that is the New England Patriots, All-Pro defensive destroyer. I would be shocked if Brown doesn’t end up with 100+ catches, 1,200 yards and 10 TDs. He’s a superstar and is going to put up huge numbers in that offense.

The only way the Patriots are losing is if the AFC South banded together to form a super team. Imagine what Deshaun Watson and Deandre Hopkins could do behind the Colts offensive line, or what JJ Watt could do with the Jaguars defensive line. The Titans would probably contribute special teams or something. It’d be a close game, but I think the AFC South Cojagtextans might have a shot.

Brandon – I’d still take the Patriots and id give points. There is no doubt that barring injury, we are watching what feels like a predestined Super Bowl run for the Patriots.

I’ve seen a lot of takes already of “If they put up 33 on the Steelers without Brown, what can they do with him” and to that I say “settle down. The Steelers aren’t that good.”

I genuinely hope the Steelers play the Patriots in the playoffs and Brown goes for 300 receiving yards and four touchdowns, just to shut every smug Steelers fan mouth once and for all.

To go with Brandon’s AFC coverage, we asked Fancy Boy Twitter to pick the division winners. They picked the Chiefs, who had a nice win against Jacksonville, but their other three prediction division winners all lost. Out of those teams- The Jets, The Browns, and The Colts- which team is in the most trouble?

Brandon – I’m most concerned with everyone who voted Jets over Patriots in the East. But in terms of the question, it’s the Jets. They have the worst coach in the NFL and Adam Gase was in prime form yesterday.

The Bills gifted the Jets that game over and over. The Jets won the turnover battle 4 to 1. Going into the 4th quarter, their win probability was at 94.1 percent. And in normal Adam Gase fashion, they blew it. 

Jack – I don’t think people seriously thought the Jets would win–it seemed to be a Patriots protest vote–so I didn’t even consider them for this exercise.

The Browns are in serious trouble. Their offensive line is hot garbage. They’re starting Right Guard is Erik Kush, best known for showing off his collection of tank tops on HBO’s Hard Knocks. Their starting Left Tackle is Greg Robinson, who’s best known for kicking a Titans player in the head this past Sunday. Before that, Robinson was best known as one of the All-Time biggest draft busts, having been chosen by the Rams three spots ahead of Khalil Mack and 11 spots ahead of Aaron Donald.

The only way the Browns are going to turn things around is if Joe Thomas comes out of retirement.

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