Welcome everybody to my constantly updating live blog where I’ll be giving my thoughts about picks throughout tonight’s first round of the NFL draft. All of the lovey eyes being made between prospects and teams. All of the subterfuge and personality testing. Everything is done. Tonight is where the rubber hits the road. Tonight is about changing teams through the draft and…..BAH GAWD THAT’S AARON RODGER’S MUSIC!Continue reading “2021 NFL Draft First Round Live Blog”
I am wrong. A lot. My gambling account this season is a reminder of how wrong I can be. I occasionally get things right, as well. But, oh man, I’m wrong all the time when it comes to sports. When you drone about nothing as much as I do, i’ts bound to happen. With the football season ending a couple nights ago, I was left with the sadness that, not only did I no longer have a reason to get spectacularly drunk on Sundays, but that I had to come to terms with what was probably my worst season in terms of prognosticating and gambling.
Part of it was the fact that i’ve spent the better part of six months with a broken brain. Full stop, not looking for sympathy. I have been able to function as a human being, albeit with medication and therapy. It is hard to focus on football when you spend every waking moment of your life thinking that your entire world is crumbling around you.
The other part of it is that I just can’t throw myself into football like I used to. As Blink 182 opined two decades ago, “I guess this is growing up.”
Life just takes up too much time. Family, friends, a society imploding into itself like a neutron star. Oh, and the whole Covid thing. I got Covid pretty bad midway through the season. 2020 was a shitty year for damn near everyone. I was no exception. So it’s time for me to take some L’s and talk about the few things I got right, and all the stuff I got wrong about the 2020 NFL season.Continue reading “The Few Things I Got Right, and The Ton of Stuff I Got Wrong in the NFL in 2020”
February 7, 2021- It’s midway through the first quarter of Super Bowl LV, and in his suite, Kansas City Chiefs owner Clark Hunt is already celebrating. His team, the expected favorite for tonight’s game, has just taken a 3-0 lead over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Surely, the Chiefs would be winning their second consecutive Super Bowl and he would be returning to Kansas City with the Lombardi Trophy and ready to bask in the praise the city would throw his way.
Then, there was a problem.Continue reading “How The Kansas City Chiefs Won Super Bowl LV, Globalist Cabal Be Damned”
Week 13 of the NFL season has come and gone. As always, Matt Drufke- who watches none of the games- has so many questions. Fortunately, Brendan Andreasen does. And he’s got all the answers Matt needs. Let’s get to it.Continue reading “Fancy Bags Football Mailbag: Week 14”
As the Bears fritter away a 5-1 start and find themselves fading into mediocrity for another season, it’s worth looking at the biggest reason they are here right now. In 2017, the Bears famously didn’t bring in Deshaun Watson before the draft because they were so taken with the kind of man Mitch “kissing titties” Trubisky was. He drove an economical car! He was so polite and well spoken! There were a lot of superlatives used to talk about how great of a quarterback they thought Trubisky would be. And all of those words that were ejaculated out of the mouths of Ryan Pace, Ted Philips, and the rest of the Apple Dumpling Gang in Lake Forest, Illinois, turned out to be completely meaningless.
Mitch turned into the Derek Zoolander of professional quarterbacking. He couldn’t throw left. The truth was, throwing to his right and deep downfield weren’t strong suits of his, either. Matt Nagy, who is increasingly in over his head and quite possibly headed for unemployment after the season, doesn’t have a fix and instead of trying to find new voices to help Mitch and the Chicago Bears offense, instead filled his coaching staff with sycophants and yes men, which created a shield around him to protect him from his own terrible play calling. Any doubts about his ability should have been quieted after Nick Foles, who he pushed for because HE KNOWS THE SYSTEM!! went out and completely crapped the bed, his pants, and everyone’s pants around him.Continue reading “Are Mitch Trubisky and Adam Shaheen the Worst Draft Combo Ever”
What an action packed weekend of football that was. The Masters on CBS pushed a number of games into the late window making NFL Sunday a 7 hour marathon and leaving no weak spots for the Red Zone crowd. We got to see Denard Hopkins pull a miracle out of the sky, the Giants maybe pull ahead in the NFC East, a 98 yard Ronald Jones touchdown run, and the Bears trot out the worst offense since the Jets played earlier in the weekend. Let’s break down the winners and losers of week 10 of the NFL season.Continue reading “NFL Winners & Losers: Week 10”
Week 10 of the NFL season is in the books. Matt Drufke has questions. Fancy Boys Football expert Jack Baker has the answers. Let’s mailbag.Continue reading “Fancy Boys Football: Mailbag Week 10”
Next week, millions of Americans will make the choice to not have large family gatherings for Thanksgiving. Granted, millions will also decide to go ahead and pretend like nothing is different, which is why we will be in a lockdown until Joe Biden’s second term as president.Continue reading “Thanksgiving Isn’t Really That Great: Reasons To Stay Home This Year”
What a fun weekend of football that was! The Chargers found yet another new way to lose in the final seconds. The Bears offense continued to Jets it up. The Vikings are back, the Bucs are making all those super bowl predictions like stupid, and we capped it off with two of the worst teams battling it out on Monday night. Let’s break down the winners and losers of week 9 of the NFL season.Continue reading “NFL Winners & Losers: Week 9”
Week 8 of the NFL season has come and gone. As always, Matt Drufke has questions and Jack Baker is not only the man smart enough to answer them, but the only person to put up with Matt’s bullshit.Continue reading “Fancy Boys Football: Mailbag Week 8”