NFL – Fancy Boys Club

Fancy Boys Club Presents This Week In Football: Week Three

September 18, 2025September 17, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Every week during the NFL season, FBC co-founder Brandon Andreasen takes a look at the NFL and makes fun of a bunch of teams and players and bets to make him feel better about the fact that he roots for the Chicago Bears and is such a degenerate gambler, he is probably betting on Korean Table Tennis at this very moment.

The Pregame Show

I’ve officially outgrown my ability to play in a dozen fantasy football leagues every season. Not outgrown as in size, though i’m quite rotund. Just outgrown in terms of life responsibilities. This actually goes for my gambling prowess, as well. I remember last year I was so hot betting on football, I felt like i’d been shot out of a cannon. I hit some massive early season bets that carried me throughout the season. This year, though? I feel like a fat toddler hopelessly throwing ping pong balls at gold fish bowls at some third rate carnival that smells like Burning Man.

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NFL, Sports

Fancy Boys Club Presents This Week In Football: Week One

September 4, 2025September 4, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

The Pregame Show

Welcome back to the NFL season, my friends! The long, hot summer is over, giving way to the crackling winds and your most obnoxious friends on social media who claim that summer sucks and that we should all be enjoying fall, or as I call it, practice winter. While they are mostly just saying it because they want to be able to justify wearing hoodies everywhere, I’m excited because football season is back, which drags me out of my yearly writing funk so I can be pithy and mean about everyone’s favorite vehicle for Kansas City Chiefs hatred.

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NFL, Sports

Fancy Boys Club NFL Mock Draft 2.0

April 24, 2025April 24, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Congrats, my football loving friends. We have finally hit the end of the football season. The churn of the 2024 NFL season, playoffs, Super Bowl, free agency and now NFL draft are over. After this weekend, we can take a collective break and catch up with friends and family, or much more likely, gamble on playoff basketball and baseball. AND, if you are as big of a degenerate as me, gamble on Korean ping pong at 3am.

For now though, all focus brings us to Green Bay, where the NFL will be taking place on Thursday (first round), Friday (second and third round), and Saturday (rounds 4-7).

This year’s draft class is considered one of the worst in recent memory, at least in terms of projections towards the future. The first few picks seem pretty well solidified, and there is not a generational quarterback in the draft that would get people excited, or teams willing to mortgage years worth of draft picks to get a transcendent star. What the draft lacks in star power though, it makes up for in sheer “someone is going to do something really stupid” excitement.

As we stand right now, this is the latest the draft has gone without a first round pick being traded. I’m predicting this doesn’t last. The Giants are trying to trade out of their pick so they can justify drafting a quarterback a little later. The Jaguars have always been a team that comes from left field with their picks. The Raiders always find a way to screw it up.

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Fancy Boys Club Drafts, NFL, Sports

Fancy Boys Club NFL Mock Draft Version 1.0

March 4, 2025March 3, 2025by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

There is no offseason in the NFL. There is PLENTY of offseason for me. The last time I wrote, Bill Belichick was still pretending that he was an NFL coaching candidate, the Chiefs felt inevitable, and people merely assumed Myles Garrett wanted out of Cleveland. But there is no offseason for the NFL. Before the hangover of the Philadelphia Eagles’ Super Bowl win had fully cleared, teams were assembling last weekend in Indianapolis for the NFL Draft Combine, where all of the best college players (except the ones who are too good to do drills) came to get judged based on their ability to jump, run in a straight line, and pretend that they want to be drafted by the New York Giants.

In an effort to be more like every other sports website, I’ve taken on the task of entering the 1,702,344th 2025 NFL Mock Draft into the universe. The difference between this and so many others you will read? This one is totally serious. I’ll be including projected trades, and will definitely take team competence into mind when making these picks. So without further adieu, let’s slap this donkey.

1st Pick: Shedeur Sanders, QB, New York Giants

The Giants trade with the Titans to get to the top of the draft to draft the best quarterback in the draft, then proceed to draft the second best quarterback in the draft. In order to do so, the Giants trade the number three pick this year, their first round pick next year, and John Mara offers up either one of his granddaughters, actresses Rooney and Kate Mara to dead Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams, in some afterlife version of the movie Indecent Proposal.

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Comedy, NFL, Sports, television

Between The (Cringy) Gutter and the Stars: An Instant Reaction to the Tom Brady Roast

May 6, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Years ago, on a tribute to late comedian Greg Giraldo, Bob Saget spoke on how he felt when Giraldo was eviscerating him on stage. He talked about how he slunk into his chair, his shoulders sagging as Giraldo kept lobbing grenades over and over at him. I thought of Saget talking about this as I watched the life leave Tom Brady’s body during his Netflix roast on Sunday night.

Watching all the way through, you genuinely get the idea Brady thought the entire show was going to be him bro’ing it up with his football friends. He wasn’t ready for Jeff Ross to go after Robert Kraft and his massage parlor antics, which, judging by the rest of the sets, was on a very strict “DON’T TALK ABOUT THIS THING” list. He wasn’t ready for Nikki Glaser to pick up the crown that Giraldo left when he died as “best roast comic alive.” Lord knows he wasn’t ready for Tony Hinchcliffe.

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NFL, Sports

A Chicago Bears Choose Your Own Adventure

March 15, 2024March 14, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

It’s impressive sometimes how quickly you can go from “what are you doing?” to “what, you are doing it!” The Chicago Bears stepped into free agency with the third most available cap space in the NFL, and up until 9:30 PM on Thursday, the results were….underwhelming? Just okay? Good for depth? For the most part, the signings up this point have been moves a team that believes it is close to a championship make. Depth moves in the middle to bottom of the roster. Building strong special teams. Overpaying for a running back they didn’t need.

Generally, those are moves that teams make when they know they are close to a championship level and are safeguarding themselves up and down the roster against injury. Then the Bears traded for future Wide Receiver Keenan Allen. The Los Angeles Chargers came to Allen asking him to take a pay cut. He is due to make 18 million with a cap hit of 23 million in 2024, the final season of his contract. Allen said no. The Chargers proceeded to jettison him to the Bears for nothing more than a 4th round pick.

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Advice, Comedy

Whose Lyric Is It? Taylor Swift or Gwar: Super Bowl Edition

February 5, 2024February 5, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

The Grammys have just wrapped up. A night of Tracy Chapman and Billy Joel(both of which I very much care about) and..well pretty much everything else I don’t. While Miley Cyrus went to her hair stylist and said “Give me the Wynona Judd, 1989 edition” while operating sans undergarments (like Wynona Judd in 1989), a beauty came across the stage to regale herself in the “Album of the Year” victory most foresaw.

Taylor Swift isn’t so much an artist as a small nation. She is a blonde haired Che Guevara in the way she incites her followers. While she has become the angst of the Republican Party (and I love her so, so much for it) one nagging thing has always burdened her career: Has She Been Stealing Her Song Lyrics From GWAR?

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NFL, Sports

Fancy Boys Club Football Mailbag: Playoffs Edition

January 10, 2024January 11, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Matt Drufke knows very little about the NFL. Fortunately, Brandon Andreasen does.

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NFL, Sports

Can Your Team Win the Super Bowl: A Guide for Non-Fans

January 9, 2024January 8, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

Congratulations, well adjusted adult. You have just spent the past four months spending your Sundays doing repairs around the house, going to brunch with friends, foraging for various vegetables you could purchase at the grocery store instead, or whatever hobby you developed that doesn’t involve you screaming at a TV. As a non-football fan, you have been able to funnel your anger and love and frustration into things that could be construed as a hobby, like splunking.

The calendar has flipped to the second weekend of January now, and that means the NFL playoffs. Mere weeks away from the Super Bowl. Legally, you are obligated to care then. So why not jump on the football bandwagon now. It’s kind of like The Golden Bachelor, only a somehow less depressing look at mortality.

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NFL, Sports

NFL Power Rankings: End of Season Edition

January 8, 2024January 8, 2024by Brandon AndreasenLeave a Comment

With the season coming to the end and the playoffs coming up this weekend, it’s time to take a look at where every team stands. More than half of the league is now looking towards Free Agency and the NFL Draft. Some teams don’t have those things to look forward to because they are poorly run and/or have the worst ownership in sports.

I’m listing where I had each team ranked before the season started so I can see how smart (editor: stupid) I was when looking at the teams a few months ago.

1: Baltimore Ravens

Preseason Rank: 6

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